Let Your Imagination Free Your Mind......

Ruki's New Diet [Ruki x Reita/oneshot]

2008-04-13T06:46:25Z

Title: Ruki’s New Diet
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: Humor, porn, goofiness
Warnings: lotsa twisted mansex^^
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Ruki x Reita
Band: Gazette
Synopsis: Ruki thinks he is fat and wants to go on a diet. Reita comes up with a twisted plan that will keep both of them happy^^
Comment: Not beta read.. Umm.. I had some fun with this story. It's so not serious, just funny porn, but please enjoy it! Umm.. Haven't we all been faced with this problem at one time or another? I like Reita's solution^^ No.. *sigh* Ruki owns Reita and Reita owns Ruki! Man! That's where it ends!

Ruki’s New Diet

Ruki angrily stubbed his cigarette out in the already over flowing glass ashtray as he slammed the laptop lid down, effectively shutting off the pc. Fuming silently he got to his feet, pacing the small living room and attracting the attention of the handsome blond sitting on the couch watching a movie in the TV.

Reita watched his lover silently for a few minutes, a small smile playing over his lips. “You’re gonna wear a hole in the tatami if you keep that up.” He patted the area on the couch next to where he was sitting. “Come here and tell me about it babe.”

Ruki looked up, the flames in his eyes vanquished for a second as he looked at his beautiful lover. Then he thought about that “Fan” mail again and the fiery, angry glint flared back.

He stalked to the sofa and not too gently, plopped himself down, sulking, brooding. Elbows and his knees, hands holding his face, he sat quietly fuming as Reita stroked his back, trying to ease the tension.

Reita let the silence gather for a few more moments and then decided that if he waited any longer and he would start to see steam coming out of Ruki’s ears. The small vocalist was holding himself rigid, his back muscles taut and hard, as Reita tried to massage the knots out, unsuccessfully.

“Okay. What’s it all about.” Still massaging the smaller man’s back he relaxed into the cushiony sofa, waiting for an explanation. The small man looked up, meeting Reita’s eyes. Twice he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Swallowing visibly, Ruki mumbled quietly; “Aki? …. Do you think I look fat?”

That was the very last thing the bassist had expected to hear from Ruki! His mouth dropped open for a second and he couldn’t help himself as laughter poured out of his mouth. He clutched his flat, tight stomach for support, to try and control the laughter. Slowly he choked the rest of the laughter back, small tears of mirth in his eyes. Ruki’s eyes were looking at him murderously.

“Ýou think it’s funny?” The vocalist screamed as he stood up. “Calm down Taka-chan, and tell me more.” Reita composed himself with a bit of difficulty, trying to look more serious for Ruki’s sake. He reached out a hand for the other man, and pulled him back down close, draping his arm possessively around the tights shoulders, hoping that this would make the smaller man feel better.

Ruki clutched his hair with both of his hands. “I got several mails from people pretending to be fans ..that …attacked me!” His voice dropping to a whisper he continued, misery plain in his expressive voice. “They said I looked heavier.” Tears sprang to his eyes.

A small smile flashed across Reita’s lips. Ruki had a constant battle with his weight and was overly sensitive about it as far as he was concerned. The vocal always looked so sexy in his eyes. He bent down and kissed Ruki lightly on the cheek. “Are you going to let a few stupid, insensitive fans spoil your night? You know how handsome and sexy I think you are. Everyone thinks you are too!”

He slid his hands around Ruki’s waist as he spoke, his fingers lifting the edge of the younger man’s shirt, seeking the warmth and smoothness of naked flesh. He planted small kisses across Ruki’s cheek until he reached those full and luscious lips. With his tongue, he delicately parted the other man’s lips, tasting the warm moistness within, the sweet breath. Sliding his tongue deeper inside, he sucked lightly, pulling Ruki’s tongue inside his own mouth. He heard a small whimper as the smaller man succumbed to the seduction.

The bassist pulled Ruki closer, his hands sliding around the other man’s waist. He couldn’t help but notice that Ruki’s waistline was a bit softer, the flesh spilling a bit over the tight pants. He quickly tried to move his hands to the firmer area of Ruki’s back. It was a bit softer now that he was thinking about it. He kissed the smaller man more passionately, to distract him from what they both knew was … well quite simply..flab.

Ruki pulled away from the kiss, misery etched on his handsome features. He lifted his shirt and looked down at his small rolls. Quickly Reita reached over to turn off the light. “Why did you do that? You don’t want to look at my fat! You saw it and you think it’s disgusting! And you didn’t answer my question! Do you think I look fat?”

Reita turned the light back on. There was no sense in creating more of an argument with his sensitive lover. He reached out to the other man and stroked his face lightly. It felt a bit fuller than he had remembered. “You know how beautiful, how handsome and sexy I think you are!” He looked down at his crotch where a massive hard on had started to form. “Mr. Happy thinks you’re sexy too.” He said hopefully.

Ruki looked at Reita’s pants, the stiff erection straining the fabric. Disdainfully he turned away. “Aki… Your boner is always happy. But I’m not happy, so nobody can be happy, Mr. Penis included!” He picked at the fabric on the sofa for a moment, his eyes cast down. “You still didn’t answer my question Aki.” Reita blew out a deep sigh. He had wanted to avoid answering this question. He was never untruthful with Ruki, but now the truth wouldn’t be such a wonderful thing.

Helplessly he looked at his lover as Ruki’s eyes rose up to meet his own. He sighed, his shoulders sinking, his lovely erection sinking. A heartbeat passed and only the sound of breathing could be heard. A pin dropping could have been heard. The room was ripe with tension. The bassist was searching for a way to say the truth and not hurt his lover.

“Okay, you might have gained a teensy bit of weight, but you’re not FAT! We have been working so hard wrapping up the last bit of this tour and you weren’t eating anything! You know how upset I was about that! Now you’re eating sensibly and rested. So what? You put on a few little pounds! It’s Healthy Taka-chan! And ..” he looked down at the small rolls accumulating above the waistband of Ruki’s pants. “You wear your pants too tight! That’s all it is. Umm besides… if you keep wearing that orange wig, nobody will notice how your pants fit anyway”

A small flare of temper and then Ruki seemed to crumple into tears. Reita pulled the now deflated and tearful man closer to him and snuggled his arms around the small man, holding him tight. He whispered into Ruki’s ear, “Don’t let a few stupid fans spoil anything for you. Don’t risk your health for them love. You are perfect and beautiful to me and I love you. That should be all that matters to you. Do their opinions matter more than mine to you?”

He could feel the vocalist shake his head. “Your opinion counts very highly with me Akira. But… Our big live is coming up at Osaka, and the annual DVD.. I don’t want to look fat! And you know the camera always makes everyone look heavier than they really are. I really need to diet. Starting now.”

Shaking himself free of his handsome blond lover, Ruki climbed to his feet, going to the small table and shaking out a cigarette from the pack. Instantly Reita was on his feet, moving towards the smaller man. He snatched the cigarette away from Ruki’s lips. “Not so many! You smoke too much! You know I don’t like it anymore! I can quit, so can you!”

“How do you expect me to lose any weight if I can’t smoke? I’m not like Kouyou who can look so slim even if he quits. Or like you! I’ll get fatter if I quit!” He snatched the cigarette back from Reita and stuck it between his lips, defiance written on his face. Reita shook his head. There was no way to argue around Ruki. He was just too stubborn. Reita watched him light the cigarette and exhale with joy, like a dying man getting his last breath.

With a flash of inspiration, Reita came closer to his lover. “Okay. Tell you what. I’ll help you lose weight and I will guarantee that my method works. But I’m strict and you have to swear to follow my orders! Day and night!” He grabbed Ruki’s soft upper arm and squeezed not so gently, but not enough to really hurt him. “Can you do it? Are you man enough? Do you really want it?”

His manly firmness was enough to make Ruki put the cigarette out and face the bassist, his attention fully fixed on his lover. “You will do this for me? With me? You’ll support me in my diet?” Reita locked gazes with the smaller man and slowly, solemnly nodded his head. “Yes. But you have to really swear to follow my orders. Can you do it?”

Ruki nodded, transfixed by the earnest attention of the other man. “Yes. I promise you I will take your advice and do what you say.” He was desperate to succeed. “Tell me your plan.” Reita smiled and mysteriously led him towards the bedroom, flicking the lights off in the living room and hallway as they went.

Turning to the vocalist, Reita pulled Ruki’s shirt all the way off and threw it on the floor. Grabbing the other man by the belt, he pulled him close, roughly, and kissed his soft lips. Stepping back a fraction, he unbuckled Ruki’s pants. Then started unzipping his pants. He could feel his own erection beginning to grow. “Love, what you need are two things. Diet and exercise. Did you know that sex is one of the best forms of exercise?” Ruki spluttered. “Sex! This is all for you then!” “No. Listen. It’s resistance and cardio. Both will help tone you down, and we may as well have fun with this, yes? Also a single orgasm burns thousands of calories! What’s wrong with that?”

Slowly Ruki nodded, unable to refute the validity of Reita’s argument. “Okay. So sex is exercise. But what about diet?” Reita smiled now. A full, flat out grin. “Well I think you need to go on a special all protein diet! Protein is good for building all the muscles you will get from sex. And it will keep you healthy! I have just the recipe too for this Protein drink you need.” He laughed as he pulled Ruki’s pants down. His own cock was now hard and straining against his pants. This diet idea was really arousing him greatly.

He took Ruki’s hand and rubbed it across the bulge in his pants. “No! That’s not what you’re thinking is it? You want me to drink your cum?” Ruki stuttered, hardly believing this could be what Reita was proposing! Reita grabbed him and tightly pilled him closer, not allowing him to escape. He rubbed up against Ruki tantalizingly, brushing his face softly with tiny kisses. “And what’s so bad about that? You’ve done it before, and seemed just as pleasured by it as I was.” He sucked Ruki’s full lip, biting it lightly.

“But, that was for fun Aki, not as FOOD!” Half-heartedly he tried to pull away but Reita’s iron tight grip kept him firmly welded to the taller man. Besides, he felt his own erection growing. Twisted as it sounded…. maybe it would really work and….the idea…..the idea was making him hard and excited.

He realized that Reita was now biting his shoulder, licking his soft, (don’tthinkaboutitflabby) skin. He decided that this felt too good to think at all. He allowed Reita to maneuver him down onto the bed where his undershorts and socks were quickly stripped off to join the pile of Reita’s cast off clothing. Fully naked now, Ruki could feel Reita’s magnificent, silky weight pressing him down into the soft bed.

Ruki could feel his lover softly covering his shoulders, his chest with small kisses, small bites. The long, pink tongue tracing moist lines between the kisses. He shivered with pleasure as he raked his fingernails across Reita’s powerful back. Reita grabbed Ruki’s head and forced his mouth on the younger man’s lips, sliding his tongue once again deeply inside as his body pressed his lover deeper into the bed, pressed his erection tightly against the younger man’s erection, grinding and moving his hips until they both gasped with pleasure.

Breaking from the deep and passionate kiss, Reita slid over Ruki, allowing the younger man to sit up. Both men were on their knees, facing each other. A quick kiss from Reita. “How about trying your first meal?” A wicked smile played across his lips. Ruki smiled back and shrugged. “Fine let’s go for it.” “That’s the spirit. No guts, no glory!” Ruki gave his lover a rueful smile, then lowered himself down as Reita grabbed his head between both hands and brought the tip of his cock up to the younger man’s mouth.

Reita looked at his hard cock pointed at those beautiful full, moist lips. The sight always gave him a thrill. Ruki had such sexy lips. He wanted to watch as those lips wrapped around his cock and sucked slavishly. He knew he was going to enjoy this diet and either Ruki would lose weight or he would be too tired to notice he hadn’t. Either way, problem solved as far as Reita was concerned. He had meant what he said about Ruki being attractive and sexy to him.

Delicately, Reita’s cock touched Ruki’s lips. A small pink tongue curled out from between the lips, tasting, testing. The small touch gave Reita shivers of pleasure. Holding firmly onto Ruki’s head, Reita slowly inched his hardness into Ruki’s mouth. Bit by bit, the entire length disappeared inside of Ruki’s mouth. He paused as he felt Ruki’s tongue curl around his shaft, tickling it lightly from the inside.

“Suck it baby, suck it good.” Reita moaned as he slid his cock back out of Ruki’s mouth, but only slightly, to allow the younger man a chance to use his soft tongue along the shaft. Once more he plunged his cock back into Ruki’s mouth. This felt like heaven! Ruki was sucking tightly along the shaft as Reita plunged his hardness in and out of those luscious lips. Faster and harder now, his breath coming is small gasps he worked his cock in and out of Ruki’s mouth, his hips rocking back and forth, his pubic bone slamming into Ruki’s face.

He could see the saliva dripping out of Ruki’s mouth and he thought about easing the rhythm, but the pleasure had taken him over and he continued to pound himself frantically into the younger man. Any moment he was going to erupt. Ruki was gripping his ass tightly, his nails gouging deeply into the soft flesh, hanging on dearly.

Suddenly the world turned upside down and he was engulfed in the purest of pleasurable sensations. It felt like his life was being sucked out of his soul, but he never wanted it to end. He felt his hot liquid spurt deep down Ruki’s throat as his body went numb and rigid. Blackness overcame his vision for a moment as he collapsed on top of Ruki. The younger man was still holding him tightly by the ass, still sucking. He felt like his soul had melted inside of Ruki. Making love was always this way for them. Deep, violent, tender, powerful.

He pulled the smaller man away and up to him. Holding his lover tightly, he kissed those wet and sticky lips, tasting his own cum. It left a tingling flavor in his mouth, but this was the taste of their love, and he wanted to taste it all with Ruki. Always. Smiling, Ruki broke away, gently kissing Reita on the lips, the cheek, the nose. “So…” he drawled, “that was my dinner now?” Reita smiled blurrily at him. “Yeah. It was. Like it?” Ruki licked his lips and nodded. “I can get used to this….. but, I still need my morning tea or I’ll be a bitch all day.”

Reita burst out laughing. “OKAY! But don’t think you can talk me into letting you put your special Rei-juice on pancakes or something.” Ruki laughed with him and curled up close. Their hands met and even without realizing it, their fingers curled around each other’s, each part of the other. A soft kiss now from Reita. “Hey. You got dinner, but you still need the exercise part. As your personal trainer and chef, I say that you still have a workout ahead of you tonight.” Ruki nodded his head. “I guess I’ll have to work pretty hard, to burn off all the calories in that dinner!” Reita poked him, “You better work hard!” Ruki smiled and a wicked look came into his eyes. “Your ass is so mine Mr.!”

He reached for the lube as Reita turned down the light a bit. Sighing more with contentment than anything else, the handsome bassist turned over on his stomach to prepare for the full out assault. Ruki looked at the plump, round, white ass that was going to soon going to be all his. Maybe this diet wasn’t such a bad thing after all! It’s always best though when you really love your personal trainer. Now full of happiness, Ruki spread a measure of lube on his finger and smiled to himself.

The end.

Take take^^
Yami yo no gene - Kra

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [16/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2008-03-26T07:44:02Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 16/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: sexual dreaming
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Band: Gazette, Kyo from Dir en grey in parts of the story.
Synopsis: Uruha becomes ill and Reita and Kai must find a way to save him. Shin and Aoi are together in Tokyo.
Comments: Not beta read. C & C are appreciated. ^^ I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Uruha woke up in bed, under the sheets. His eyes felt glued together, so he didn’t even try to open them. His could feel that all his clothing had been removed. Reita again, no doubt. He rolled over, onto his side, letting the silky feeling of the sheets cool his overheated body. Always when he drank too much, he felt so hot, so sticky, so crappy. But still, every afternoon, he would go find a bottle of sake, or champagne or vodka; open it and drink it all. Alone. Until he passed out. Last night he had drank a whole bottle of champagne AND vodka alone. He remembered those two bottles anyway. There could have been more.

A spasm of pain flashed through his stomach and he twisted spastically in the sheets. Just as suddenly, it was gone, but now he felt nauseated. He knew that all this drinking was killing him, but he needed it! He simply couldn’t get through the day without the blurry warm feeling it gave him. He couldn’t fall asleep unless he passed out. His thoughts were killing him inside as much as all the alcohol, but he just didn’t know how else to cope with all the pain in his heart!

He tried to sit up, but the sudden movement caused him to vomit a small amount of bile. It was obnoxiously smelly, even to him, but he didn’t have the strength to move away from it. He sank back down into the sheets to try and let the world settle down around him. He knew that the bile was all his stomach had. He hadn’t eaten anything really for days now.

He lay there quietly, slowly opening his eyes to the harsh glare of the afternoon sun. Reita had not remembered to close the curtains for him last night he thought ruefully. Still, God bless Reita, and Kai too, for taking such good care of him. He knew that without their help he would have been lost already. He knew that they had been also desperately trying to hide his worsening condition, his degeneration, from Ruki.

The thought came to him that he could easily die from how he was treating himself. He had never felt this bad before after a night of drinking. He knew that he just couldn’t stop himself either. With this morbid thought, he tried to sit up again. Wrong move. Again he retched, but it was a dry heave. His stomach had nothing more to give. This was more painful even than before and tears came to his eyes.

Not wanting to give up, he forced himself from the bed. They had a dinner to attend tonight with the head of PS company and he needed to get cleaned up. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and tried to steady himself. Slowly he planted first one foot, then another on the ground. He stood up, still holding onto the edge of the bed for support. Slowly, he thought to himself. One step at a time.

He let go of the bed and took two small steps. Suddenly his legs seemed to melt out from under him as a spasm of pain pierced his stomach once again. He crumpled onto the floor in a heap. Pain wracked his body as again and again he heaved his guts out. Only a small smelly trickle of bile once again. He lay there in his mess, and closed his eyes. Now he knew he was going to die. And he deserved it, for how he had treated his body. As he drifted off into unconscious oblivion, his only small thought was that he would never see his beloved Aoi again….He dreamed that he was once again making love to the dark haired man he loved so much.

*********

Kai knocked on the door to Uruha’s room. Reita was coming also, later, but Kai wanted to talk to Uruha first, alone. They had forged a sort of bond out of all their troubles and shared experiences and had been able to talk about personal things. Good had come out of bad. The drummer cared very much about the blond guitarist and wanted happiness so badly for him! Kai knew with all his heart that Uruha and Aoi needed one another. He wanted to be able to do something to make that happen. He really cared about his friend and wanted him to be happy, and with the person he loved.

He paused after knocking. What was that noise? It sounded like something heavy had fallen. He put his ear to the door. He could hear Uruha vomiting on the other side. “Aki!” He ran down the hallway, back to their bedroom and flung open the door. Reita was buttoning his shirt and looked up questioningly at his lover.

“Come quickly and bring the key! I think something is wrong with Kouyou!” Reita grabbed the cardkey off the dresser and ran down the hallway with his lover. Impatiently, he thrust the card into the lock, but his hands were trembling so badly that he kept missing it. “Fuck!” Kai took the card from Reita’s shaking hands and swiped it, unlocking the door.

There in the middle of the room lay Uruha; naked, sweating, moaning, obviously in pain and in some sort of delirium. They could both smell the rich odor of vomit as they came closer to his crumpled form. Ignoring the stench, together they lifted him up, and as gently as they could, they laid him back down in the bed. Kai covered his nakedness with the thin, soft sheet.

The bassist stroked the overly hot forehead of his childhood friend, softly. He turned to his lover, and without a word, Kai knew what he was silently asking. He nodded his head. “I’ll go fetch the Doctor.” Quickly he stood up and left the room.

Reita stood up, not wanting to leave his friend, but feeling the need for action. He crossed quickly to the bathroom and ran some icy cold water over a soft, clean washcloth. Taking it over to the bed, he wiped the cool cloth over Uruha’s hot forehead, mumbling soft, soothing words of nothingness.

“There, there Kou-chan. It’s going to be all right.” He looked at the still face of his friend and wanted to cry. He knew he should have done more to prevent Uruha from drinking so much. From starving himself. Now that he looked closely, he could see the pale violet circles under the blond man’s eyes, looking like bruises, the hollowness of his cheeks, the way the bones poked up from under his skin, making him look so fragile and small.

Starting now, all of this would change. He vowed to himself right there to make Uruha change his habits. Small tears leaked out of his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see his friend like this. He continued stroking the wet cloth over the guitarist’s head.

The opening of the door made him look up. There was Kai and the Doctor. Reita was thankful that Kai had been able to get him here so quickly and without a fuss. The Doctor swept Reita aside and knelt to tend to the blond. He pulled out a thermometer and took his temperature. Then he felt several places on Uruha’s lower stomach. The pain from this roused the guitarist to open his eyes and stare dimly at the men who had invaded his room. “Umm…good to see you with the living Kouyou-san.” The Doctor folded the sheet back over his patient then stepped over to Reita and Kai.

“It’s good you got to him when you did. He’s has a fever, severely dehydrated and malnourished. And that ulcer has been aggravated again. I’m sure you know how, but aren’t saying…” Reita looked at the Doctor and paused for a heartbeat. He swallowed hard. “Kouyou has been drinking again, too much. For weeks now. He hasn’t been eating. I know he has to stop, and I…” he looked at Kai, who imperceptibly nodded. “And we will make sure he does. Is he going to be all right?”

The Doctor sighed. “Yes. He will be fine, after I get him hydrated and give him some glucose, some meds to bring his fever down..…but he has to stop drinking and he has to eat and rest. He should be strong enough to move around in a couple of days, but then there is the danger that he will want to start drinking again. You both have to make sure this won’t happen. If you can not guarantee this then I will insist he seek treatment.”

“No. We guarantee that he will not go back to his old behaviors." The Doctor looked at Reita carefully. “You know that the underlying cause of most of these behaviors is psychological. He must be trying to mask some pain by doing this to himself.” Reita nodded. “We know about that and I think we know how to fix it. I, we should have tried harder before to help him. I am sorry.” He bowed to the Doctor.

Shaking his head, the Doctor walked them to the door. “I’ll have some things brought up here. And someone to sit with him as well.” Kai spoke up. “I think we can take turns sitting with him, and maybe we can start helping him as we watch him.” “Okay. That is acceptable, but now you need to leave and I will call you when it is time to come back and stay with him.”

The two men left the room and the Doctor closed the door behind them. They made their way back to their room, and sat down together on the bed. “It’s time to tell Takanori love.” Kai said gently. Reita nodded his head. The bassist took his lover’s hand and held it tightly. Uruha was his oldest friend, almost like his brother, but Kai was his best friend, his lover. He was so lucky to have both of them. He didn’t want to lose either of them from his life. But unless he could help the blond, he knew he would lose him, forever..

“I know we can talk to Kouyou together, and I know I can count on you my love to help me. I think we need to convince him to leave Osaka and go see Yuu back in Tokyo. I think this is what his heart craves.” Kai nodded. He stroked Reita’s cheek softly. “I agree. We should have insisted that he go with Shin. We should have done a lot of things we didn’t do, but now we can change this.” His voice was deep and powerful with hope. He knew that together they could convince both Takanori and Uruha that this was the best thing to do right now.

*******

Aoi took his coffee and went back upstairs to dress. He thought again about the beautiful blond guitarist and sadness filled his heart. He had dreamed again about Uruha the last night. Most of his nights were filled with dreams about Uruha. That they would be sitting together laughing or out and holding hands as they walked. Last night he dreamed that again they had made love. He could feel his weight on top of the younger man, the soft, silky skin under his lips. He could feel the gentle but rhythmic motion of their coupling as he thrust himself deeply into the velvety, dark softness of the other man.

He had woken up, sticky with his own fluid, but his arms, his heart were empty. He finished the last dregs of the bitter, black coffee and stared at the grounds at the bottom of the cup. He wished he were a fortune teller, and could read his fate, his future. With a long sigh, he put the mug down and quickly dressed; a pair of ripped and faded jeans and a thin cotton top. He smiled and a tear came to his eye. This was Uruha’s shirt. The one given to him after the second earthquake, when they had made such beautiful love in the quiet morning, Kai sleeping beside them.

Aoi stroked the thin fabric and imagined it was Uruha touching him. He shivered, from both desire as well and emptiness. He picked up his mug and went back down the stairs to the kitchen. Shin was there at the table, already dressed and impeccably groomed. How he could look so good with such primitive facilities amazed Aoi. Pulling out the extra chair, he sat down next to his best friend.

“You look so sad Yuu. Aren’t you happy that I am here for you? Didn’t you miss me?” Aoi looked up, a half smile on his lips. “I missed you Shin and I’m so glad you are here…but…” he broke off. “As much as I care for you, I wish Kouyou was here with me instead of you.” He stopped and taking a cigarette from Shin’s pack he lit it and inhaled deeply. Shin smiled and punched his friend. “I understand and I don’t feel bad about what you said. You belong with Kouyou. I wish he were here with you instead of me also, because that is the right thing for you.”

Aoi smiled and looked at Shin. What a good friend he was! “What do you want to do? I have all day off. I can take you for a tour of the city, such as it is. Do you want to see your old apartment?” Shin’s eyes lit up. Aoi laughed, but not cruelly. “It’s gone Shin. Torn down, like so much. I am sorry.” They both paused a moment, thinking of the destruction, Shin only imagining it, Aoi knowing about it. “Hey! Do you want to see the apartment I am making for me and …. Umm.. for Kouyou?” Shin was the only one to know his secret.

The small man nodded. “Okay..yes.. I want to see this wonderful apartment. I want to see the city a little bit too and see if anyone I know is still here. Then I want to come back and practice some songs, because I think you need some Shin-instruction again!” They both laughed at that and got up to go. As they put their shoes on at the door, Shin thought that what he also wanted was to spend some more time talking to that handsome man sleeping in the back room. Maybe they would cook dinner for him tonight. Aoi opened the door and stepped out into the sunshine. Shin wasn’t Kouyou, but at least he was here. The day might not be so bad after all. Laughing the two men made their way to the car, got in and drove off.

End of Chapter 16

You can take today's music if you want:
Voiceless Screaming - X Japan

Angel Snow [Oneshot/Aoi x Kai]

2008-02-23T23:47:11Z

Title: Angel Snow
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: Fluffy romance
Warnings: none
Rating: workplace safe
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Kai
Band: Gazette
Synopsis: The first snow of the season appears in Tokyo and electricity is lost while the band practices at the studio. Aoi, saddened by what he feels to be a distance growing between himself and his lover, Kai, goes outside and builds a snowman.
Comments: This story was especially written for kao_chan. I promised to build her Aoi x Kai snowmen, but unfortunately the snow is too cold and would not form a shape without crumbling *cry*, so I came up with this story instead. I hope this is just as good honey! Sorry! *kiss* <3. Not beta read. C & C are appreciated. ^^

Angel Snow

Aoi looked out of the window of the recording studio. The first snow of the season was coming down thick and hard. This morning, all outside had been normal. Grey and cold. Now the scenery was becoming quickly transformed into an ethereal fairyland of soft, quiet, whiteness.

The sudden snowstorm had created a power outage, affecting the studio. The band had ceased practice, as the electricity flow powering the computers, lights and equipment had stopped. Ruki, never one to give up, had insisted they all stay at the studio, at least for a few hours more in case the electricity came back. In any case, the roads were heavily covered and the visibility was too poor to think of driving home now anyway. This was probably the best place to be for now.

All the members and the manager were at the table, quietly laughing, talking, drinking coffee, waiting patiently. All except for Aoi. He had looked over at Kai, chatting happily to Reita, ignoring him almost, still. With a troubled heart, he had quietly left the table and walked down the hallway to be alone. At moments like these he preferred his own company and solitude. Without practice to occupy his mind, he was left with too many thoughts. Thoughts that made him sad and uncomfortable.

He stared out of the window at the leaden sky, watching as the snow gusted against the frozen windowpane. Delicate, intricate patterns of sparkling frost dotted the glass. He stepped closer and put his face against the cold window. His breath fogged the glass, clouding his vision.

Why was Kai acting this way to him? This question was haunting him. It was almost like Kai didn’t care for him any longer. They hadn’t been a couple for so long, only a few months, but Aoi had felt happier in these months than he had ever felt in his life. At first Aoi had had some reservations about his involvement with the younger man, wondering if this had been the right thing to do, but his love had blossomed and had quickly overcome any doubts he might have originally had.

Their courtship had been almost a whirlwind. Aoi was used to taking his time with someone, coming to love them slowly, maybe shyly. This relationship had caught him off guard, broadsided him with its intensity. They had quickly jumped into becoming lovers in every sense of the word. Aoi had never fallen so hard, so quickly. Kai’s simple sweetness, his love and enthusiasm for life, his gentleness and kindness had both amazed and attracted Aoi. The amount of love he had offered to the older man had overpowered his reason and made him throw caution to the wind. Now he couldn’t escape this love, even if he wanted to.

However, now a curious thing was happening. Now that Aoi had thrown himself into this relationship, it seemed like Kai had less and less time for him. Where once he had openly and actively courted the affections of the older man, now he seemed to be less interested. They hardly seemed to talk together lately, or even spend the nights together. Was Kai, now that he securely had Aoi’s love, less interested in him, less in love with him?

Aoi drew a small heart in the mist of his breath, on the glass windowpane. He wrote a small kanji inside the heart. 愛. He stared at it for a moment before adding another symbol. A question mark. ? , directly under the kanji. His mind felt as foggy as the mist his breath left on the glass. He wanted to believe Kai still loved him as much as he had originally seemed to. He still did many sweet, small, thoughtful little things for Aoi, he still seemed to think of him….. but …why then did he not make so much time for the older man anymore? Was Aoi the only one to feel excited to spend time with Kai? The only one to make time to be with him? Time that often went unused nowadays. Was Aoi simply being selfish now?

More than a little disgusted and confused at his own thoughts, the dark haired man walked away from the window. He slowly made his way down the darkened hallway to the building entrance. Without a word to anyone, he grabbed his coat and scarf and put his boots on. He needed to get away from his thoughts. Get away from his friends and especially Kai for a little while. He slipped his coat on and wrapped the scarf around his neck as he opened the front door.

A cold blast of snowy air hit him in the face, obscuring his vision of the parking lot. The wind grabbed his coat as he struggled to hold it together and button it securely up. He could hear the door clang shut behind him, cutting him off from the world of humans into this frozen world of whiteness. All around him the snow darted and swirled in a frenzy. The swooshing of the wind was all he could hear as it carried the glittering flakes across the sky.

The parking lot looked like a fairy land. Cars had turned into unrecognizable lumps of whiteness and the fence surrounding the lot looked like a glistening white latticework. Surely this was the work of the snow fairy, or so to the fanciful, artistic part of Aoi’s mind it seemed. The untouched and wild beauty of his surroundings took his mind away from his unhappy thoughts. Standing there alone in the dim, frosty whiteness, Aoi felt like a child again, untroubled in mind or spirit. A small grin touched his lips, curving them into a full smile as the thick snow pelted him, coating his coat, his scarf, his hair. He imagined he must look like an old man, hair and face all white. Umm… or maybe a snowman!

He looked straight up into the pale grey sky, at the small shiny flakes drifting down at him. He had to restrain himself from catching them in his hand. This was “Angel snow”. The first snow of the season. It was unlucky to catch and hold it. It brought only bad luck to try and capture Angel snow. It wasn’t made for humans to have. Aoi didn’t want any bad luck. His thoughts drifted to Kai. He wanted only good luck there. He wanted to know Kai really loved him back and didn’t feel trapped in a mistake. A mistake with Aoi in this relationship.

He forced his thoughts away from Kai. The thought of a snowman still tickled his mind. He hadn’t made one since he was a child. A very young one. Not so much snow came to Mie, and when it did, it was a special occurrence, one to be cherished, one to exploit for fun. Now that he was in Tokyo, of course he saw it often enough but it had since lost its special charm, and he was often busy in his grown-up world of things to do. Right now however, he didn’t feel like a grown up. He felt young, light. Alone in the world of whiteness.

He searched his pockets and found the familiar lump of his leather gloves. Drawing them out, he pulled them on, over his freezing fingers. He shuffled slowly through the deepening snow, over to a small, clear space by the fence. Looking back, he could hardly see the dark building he had come out of only moments ago.

Bending down, he gathered a small pile of snow from the ground around his feet and made a ball. Since it had already landed, this snow was safe to touch and not unlucky. Working quickly, he rolled the small ball on the ground where it picked up more snow and became a larger ball. It swiftly became quite large and heavy to push. He positioned it and started on a second ball. When it was slightly smaller than the first, he heaved into place atop the larger ball of snow.

Cold as it was, he felt himself sweating inside his coat. This was more work than he remembered! His long hair, wet now from the falling snow, fell into his face, sticking to his cheek as he bent down to shape the third and last ball. He rolled this around, picking up more snow from the friction, expanding the ball and making it bigger. When it was the size of a head he stopped and placed this last ball on the top of the other two.

He stepped back, critically appraising his work. A bit crooked, but not so bad. It needed something else though. He cast his eyes around…looking for some bits and pieces to finish his work. The ume tree at the other side of the fence had cast off a brittle branch. He shuffled over to it and picked it up. He snapped off two pieces and stuck them into the second ball, at an angle. Fishing around in his pocket, he found some coins. This was the best he could do. He placed them in the top ball. Two larger ones for eyes, and a line of smaller coins for a smile. He smiled back at the snowman. This was starting to look like a real snowman now!

It still needed something more…. Ah! He took off his long scarf and wound it around the snowman’s neck and then he removed his gloves and placed one on each of the branches. Yeah. That was more like it! The snowman smiled at him through the swirl of flakes, looking warm, snug and content. Again Aoi smiled back, a small feeling of peace growing in his heart, his troubles forgotten.

“So here you are Yuu. You left and didn’t say anything! I’ve been looking everywhere for you for an hour now.” A deep but muffled voice shattered the quiet, still air. Aoi turned around, shocked by the sudden intrusion into his private world. Kai stood there, a few feet away. The snow swirling around his body and plastering his dark hair to his skull with its whiteness. The older man’s eyebrows flew up in surprise, seeing his lover materialize seemingly out of nowhere.

Kai continued, “You left your cell phone in the studio, so I couldn’t call you.” He stepped a couple of feet closer to Aoi. “How did you..” Kai cut though Aoi’s words. “I saw your coat and boots were gone, so I came out here to look for you.” Now he was only a foot away. “Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?”

Aoi bowed his head and stared at his feet, buried in the thick drift. Now he could feel the coldness seep through his boots and his body, so hot and sweaty a moment before, felt cold. He shivered. What would he say? Anything might make it worse. Should he tell Kai: ‘I didn’t think you cared where I went.’, or ‘You haven’t had any time for me lately anyway, so what does it matter?’

Damnit! He wanted to tell Kai what he was thinking, ask what the hell was going on, but the words were stuck in his throat. He was afraid. Afraid that maybe he wasn’t needed anymore, wasn’t loved anymore. He was afraid to hear Kai actually say these words. He was afraid that whatever he said would piss Kai off and make him really upset.

He turned away from the younger man, tears in his eyes. Keeping a false smile in his voice, he gestured at the snowman, “I was enchanted by the snow and decided to act like a child.” He felt Kai by his side, the warmth from the younger man radiating out like sunshine, warming him a bit. They stood there quietly for a bit. Neither man saying a word. If the feeling of confusion and sadness hadn’t been troubling Aoi, it might almost have felt like a comfortable, companionable silence.

Aoi felt a hand on his arm and his stomach tightened into a knot. He felt an unnamable sadness inside. He wanted the good, exciting times from the previous month back. When they both seemed to feel love and excitement at being together, sharing a smile, a conversation, a meal, a touch. Sharing the same easy going connection that had told Aoi he had made the right choice at falling so rashly in love with this beautiful man at his side. When had that vanished? It had happened slowly, leaving him to feel so alone in his love.

“So what’s the real reason you came out here alone?” Kai asked softly, looking not at Aoi, but at the snowman. “I didn’t think you would notice or even miss me. You haven’t seemed to have so much time for me lately.” Kai turned slowly and looked at his older lover saying nothing. He took his hand off of Aoi’s arm and the older man felt a deep sadness. Now Kai would tell him the truth. He was tired of Aoi or he had changed in his feelings.

Without a word, Kai stepped forward and picked up a handful of snow, shaping it into a ball. He rolled it around in the snow until it gained mass and became big and heavy. Slowly, the younger man rolled it over to the other snowman, until the two big balls touched. He bent down and fashioned a second ball, placing it on top of the bigger first ball. Now he made a third. When it was the size of a head, he placed it on top of his other two balls. Walking over to the ume tree, he snapped off two sticks and poked them into the sides of the second, middle size ball. He felt in his pockets for some change and stuck two larger coins in for eyes and a row of smaller coins in for the smile. Taking off his scarf, he wrapped it around the neck of his snowman, then peeled off his gloves and stuck them on the end of the sticks.

He stepped back, next to Aoi and surveyed his handiwork. “Not so bad..” Kai linked his arm through Aoi’s and started walking towards the snowmen, forcing the older man to walk with him. “It still needs something though…. Ah! I see what it is now!” Still holding Aoi’s arm, he reached forward with his free hand and rotated the stick arm of his snowman until it looked as if both the snowmen were holding hands. Turning to Aoi, he smiled. “Isn’t that better now? It seemed as if your snowman was lonely. I can’t allow that. Your snowman needs his mate. His mate is always at his side. Then you are never alone”

The young drummer wrapped his arm around Aoi and turned to face him. “Do you really think I don’t care or that I don’t love you still?” Full of shame Aoi nodded his head.” I didn’t know what to think, really. When we started out just a little bit ago, it seemed that you couldn’t get enough of me. Now it seems like you get too much of me. That you grow tired of me. That I am the only one that feels excitement at seeing you, being with you.” He bit his lips, trying to keep the tears away. He couldn’t look Kai in the eyes, confused and still afraid of seeing the rejection there, still not holding onto the younger man.

He heard the soft, tinkling laughter of the younger man and saw him reach his hand out to catch a few flakes of snow from the sky. Quickly Aoi snatched Kai’s hand, preventing him from closing his fist around the Angel snow. “What…?” Now Aoi looked into Kai’s eyes. He shook his head. “You mustn’t! It’s unlucky!” “You believe those old wives tales Yuu?” Kai laughed again. He wrapped both arms around Aoi and slowly leaning in, kissed him gently, tenderly on the lips.

“You care about what happens to us then?” Kai spoke almost in a whisper, his lips brushing Aoi’s so softly. The older man nodded. “Of course I do Yutaka.” Kai kissed him again gently. “Have faith in us then love. Did you never think that maybe I feel so happy and content with you that I don’t have to prove anything? That maybe I feel relaxed and joyful all of the time now and that I feel you even when we don’t speak all the time, or I’m not always there? See… I know that I have you to come back to, that you are there for me. I take you with me wherever I go, whether you are there or not. That’s how strong my love is Yuu. That will never change. You are mine now and I am yours.”

“That’s why your lonely snowman needed my snowman. They are together. One with the other, for always. You don’t need to be lonely love. Not ever again.” Kai smiled and the sunshine broke out in Aoi’s heart, lighting up the grey, snowy day. He smiled back at Kai, slowly, understanding filling his soul. He nodded.

Sparkling snowflakes swirled through the air, gusting around four shapes in the empty, cold parking lot that looked a lot like fairyland. Two of the shapes held hands, frozen together forever. Two others were locked in a kiss, their love melting the Angel snow as it landed, softly, gently on their warm, happy bodies joined together as one.

The end.

I do this at my own personal journal, so I thought I would try it here also^^
Take it if you want..or not..^^
Kakusei ~ Ryuichi Kawamura

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [15/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2008-02-09T08:57:11Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 15/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: mansex
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Band: Gazette, Kyo from Dir en grey in parts of the story. Shin from Kagrra,
Synopsis: Shin shows up in Tokyo and tells Aoi all about what is going on in Osaka. Reita and Kai have a private, but interesting conversation.
Comments: I added a little Kaita at the suggestion of arlequin^^ Thanks hon^^. Not beta read. C & C are appreciated. ^^ I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Shin looked at Aoi, who stood there speechless, his mouth hanging open. He pushed his way past the taller dark haired man and setting his case down, slipped off his shoes. He shook his head slightly; he always had to be the one in charge. Aoi hadn’t changed much in this aspect.

“Don’t just stand there like some country hick staring at the seventh wonder of the world! Show me around!” He started to walk down the darkened hallway towards the living room, but stopped and turned to Aoi. “Or…has the earthquake permanently disengaged your whole brain?” He might be pushing it a bit, but they had such a solid friendship that he knew he could get away with it.

Aoi shut his mouth and narrowed his eyes, surprised to hear someone speak to him roughly, this way. Then his indignation gave way to laughter. He slapped his thigh with his hand and held his stomach from laughing. Man! It was good to see his best friend! He missed the smaller man’s stringent sense of sarcastic humor. He walked over to Shin and wrapped his tanned, strong arms around the smaller man. “I am so happy you are here! But it’s kind of a shock to see you! I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to come?” He went back, picked up the suitcase and carried it into the living room, pulling the other man excitedly with him.

Aoi set the suitcase down pulling his robe more firmly around his waist and tightening the sash. He turned into the kitchen, signaling Shin to follow. Stooping under the counter, he produced a fresh bottle of beer, cracked it open and handed it to his friend. “I was about to make some dinner soon…” “You? Cook? Umm…” Shin looked at Aoi tight-lipped. He liked Aoi’s cooking about as much as slitting his wrists with a rusty blade. He took a drink, then still holding the bottle, walked wordlessly back into the living room and over to his case. Aoi followed and watched him open it and take out a large, heavyish box.

The younger man handed the box to his friend. “Open it.” Aoi shrugged and set it down, peeling off the tape holding it closed. A wonderful aroma came from the box and his mouth began to water. He removed the lid and peered inside. It was food! All sorts of food! He took out a smaller box from within, grease and sauce staining the white cardboard, and he opened it. Takoyaki!!! Not so warm anymore, but still smelling delicious!!

He looked up at Shin with shining eyes. Plain rice and dried fish or squid and some nori was about all he had had for weeks now. He had almost forgotten one of his favorite foods. He closed his eyes in ecstasy, inhaling the sweet aroma…umm….

“Are you really here and bringing me this? Or am I dreaming?” Shin squatted down close to the older man and smacked him playfully on the top of the head. “Idiot! I’m real enough.I bought it right before I got in the helicopter.” Aoi continued to smile as he stuck a toothpick into one of the shriveled sauce and bonito-flake covered balls and plunged it into his mouth. Ahhhhhhhh!! Delicious! Standing, he devoured the rest of the wonderful squid balls. It wasn’t until he had finished that he remembered Shin. He looked at the empty box and then at Shin. “Pig.” Shin said playfully as he sipped his beer, smiling slightly. Both men laughed and Aoi picked up the box of food and took it into the kitchen, along with his empty, sauce-stained takoyaki box.

He set the box of food down on the table and went to get a couple more beers. Shin sat down and lit a cigarette. Aoi handed another beer to Shin and sat down, also lighting a cigarette. He leaned in and stared at the younger man. His heart felt lighter, happier than it had in a month. “Tell me how you got to come here? Tell me what’s going on? Tell me about….” He trailed off… He was almost afraid to ask about Uruha. Shin patted his hand, knowing, as he always did, what his best friend was thinking.

He looked at Aoi, sitting there, all tensed up and nervous and felt so sorry for him. True, he had made some bad decisions, but Shin knew how his heart felt. He inhaled deeply and sat still for a moment, composing his thoughts. Better to say it straight. Get it over with. “Kouyou and I had a small conversation before I left. He sought me out when he heard I was coming to see you. He is very hurt. I think he still loves you though, or he wouldn’t feel pain like this.” He swallowed a mouthful of warm beer. “I don’t know if he wants to be with you again though. He is very thin. He stopped eating for awhile. His stomach, you know the problem? He just couldn’t get anything down. This upset him so badly…it brought back on the stomach troubles. Frankly I think he just didn’t want to eat. He does drink way too much now though. And he has lost his sparkle. He’s… quiet now most of the time.”

Shin paused and stared right into Aoi’s eyes, eyes that were brimming with bright, sparkly tears. The older man’s mouth was contorted into a grimace, a mask of pain as he struggled to keep from crying. Shin held Aoi’s dark hand tightly. Ok. The worst was over. Now they could move on. It was best this way. He patiently waited for the worst to pass.

Some tears leaked out of Aoi’s eyes and spilled down his cheeks. “It’s over then. No more trying?” He spoke in a harsh whisper, the words too frightening to utter louder. Shin said nothing. Still holding Aoi’s hand across the table he waited for the tears to flow and then pass. Aoi put his hand over his face, covering his eyes, but Shin could see the tears dripping underneath, coursing down his cheeks. Broken sobs came out of his throat, and he bent down and put his head on the table, his muscular body quivering with quiet sobs.

Finally, the older man was silent and his body quiet. He straightened up, his hand limp inside of Shin’s stronger grasp. With his free hand he wiped the tears from his face and took a swig of his beer. His breathing became normal and he looked at Shin, a new resignation in his eyes.

“I don’t say to give up. I just wanted you to know what the situation really is. I want you to be prepared and not nurture any false hope. I said he still loves you. He sought me out, not to really say much, but because he knew I was going to see you. He must miss you. He must still love you. But… it will not be an easy reconciliation. I think … I think he wishes he could talk to you.”

Shin let go of Aoi’s hand and leaned back, smiling. “In other news, you are being made out to the media to be a big hero!! Staying in Tokyo, helping the less fortunate…..There have been several photoshoots. Everyone wants to know how the band is doing and that Akira is recovering. He looks amazing really. He had his spleen removed awhile back and now he is recovering fully. Walking well, everything. Of course that is also ‘Big News’ for the magazines. All the members have said nothing but wonderful things about you though.” Shin took a deep breath and lit another cigarette. “Takanori feels badly about everything. He had a little talk with Kouyou and I know that Kouyou was livid with him. There was much shouting and throwing of some heavy objects. Takanori had a bruise the next day on his face, but wouldn’t say anything about it. Tooru laughed about it even, saying that he wasn’t really hurt and he had earned it.

Aoi shook his head. “It was still all my fault. I don’t blame Takanori.” His head fell and he looked at the floor, tears threatening once again. “Hey! Look at me!” Aoi looked up at his friend. “That’s better.” Shin relaxed once again. He didn’t want another crying jag. One was enough. “I didn’t tell you what Kouyou said to me. You didn’t ask.” Aoi held his breath. Shin continued. “I mentioned how angry he was and still is with Takanori. When he came to see me he said that he knew it wasn’t your fault. He knows how … sensitive you are lately and he understood what must have happened to make you act as you did. It doesn’t take away his hurt or your sense of guilt, but he isn’t angry at you. You are lucky to have found such a man.”

Aoi caught his breath. Was there really still a chance? Shin saw the look. “Don’t get your hopes too high, but maybe there is a ray of light? Time will tell.” He shrugged. “All the band members want you back. The chairman of Psc wants you back. But you need to finish something here first I think…” He looked at his friend who just smiled and then started telling him about the little apartment.

The talked and drank throughout the night. Aoi felt better, Shin had been smart to tell him that way. Now he didn’t nourish any false, unrealistic hope, but instead realized the real effort it was going to take to get Uruha back. He was more prepared now. And despite everything, he felt better inside. They still wanted him. He realized that they were a family and he missed them. Dawn drew close and Shin started to yawn.

“I can heat some water for your bath if you would like?” He got up and led Shin into the bathroom. Aoi took the cover off the bath. The younger man’s face collapsed when he saw the tub. “I didn’t come a moment too soon! Did you forget all your manners? You used soap in the bathtub!!” Aoi looked at the tub and laughed nervously. “I guess I have become sort of lax. It’s good you saw. Hiroki would have been upset too if he saw this first. I’ll fix it now.”

Shin laughed to see his friend bending down to drain the water. Aoi doing manual labor.. Well, good for him. He waited while Aoi got fresh water heated and poured into the bath, then he pushed the older man out and closed the door. They were close, but not that close!

After leaving a towel and a clean robe, Aoi took Shin’s suitcase up the stairs to the room next to his, using a oil lantern to light the way. He took a clean futon out of the closet and laid it out. This was the same room that Kai had stayed in on their first night at Hiroki’s. Yet another time he had hurt Uruha. Why hadn’t he learned anything? He shook his head to clear away those images. Well…maybe he finally had learned something. The hard way. He noticed that the first rays of the sun were coming through the window as he picked up the lantern and went back down the stairs.

Shin was done with his bath and dressed in his robe. Now that Aoi had a chance to look at him, he noticed something different about his friend. A new look. “Hey! You have lighter hair.” Shin looked up and laughed. “Maybe a little. Got to keep it fresh you know.” He scrutinized Aoi carefully. “You also have a new look! You took your lip piercing out… and… your hair is so long now…like a girl. You are extremely dark and fit too. It looks good on you. You look very handsome.” He paused. “Not that I am interested! You’ve had enough action Yuu.” He laughed as Aoi turned red.

Aoi led the way upstairs so that they could go to bed. He indicated the room to Shin and gave him the lantern. Crossing the room, he slid open the screen to his own room. “You haven’t told me anything about you? Are you seeing anyone yet?” Shin turned back the futon and set the lantern carefully on the floor before lying down. He looked up at Aoi, standing at the screen. He shook his head sadly. “No Yuu… no one yet.” He sighed. He still had not met that special someone. “Well oyasumi Yuu.” Aoi nodded and going into the other room slid the screen closed. Shin waited until he heard Aoi settle in and then blew out the lamp, drifting off into a dreamless sleep. Even the pale pink sun coming in the window couldn’t keep him awake anymore.

***************

Reita came into the room and sat on the bed next to his lover. He wrapped his strong arms around Kai and kissed the top of his head. No he thought to himself, Don’t treat him like a pet, a baby or you will have that problem all over again. He looked into Kai’s eyes, so thankful that their relationship was once again alright, stable. He was learning what Kai needed from him and he swore to himself to be that man. It really wasn’t so hard. He kissed Kai on the lips. Softly. “I put Kouyou to bed again. He drank too much and was trying to sleep in the middle of the floor. Again.” Reita sighed. He hated seeing his long-time friend this way.

Kai responded by putting his strong, warm arms around Reita. He knew how hard this was for his lover. “Baby. He’s lucky he has you to take such good care of him, but I think he really needs to go and talk to Yuu himself. Alone.” Reita looked at Kai. “Do you think so? I was thinking the same thing. I think he wants Yuu back. I think he’s dying inside. He’s killing himself here, this way anyway and there’s not a damned thing I can do to stop it!” Reita’s voice rose and took on a harsh edge.

Kai cradled his lover gently. He loved being able to take care of Reita, and now Reita was letting him. He liked being the strong, aggressive one too and Reita didn’t always have to act so manly. He smiled tenderly as he stroked his lover. This was a good relationship now. Both giving and taking. Both able to be strong and weak. And Reita was such a gentle man really. Kai loved to turn him into a tiger though.

He pulled away slightly and sought out Reita’s lips, licking the softness, nibbling around the edges, applying just a little more pressure and forcing them open, allowing his tongue to penetrate inside. He leaned into Reita, forcing him back on the bed, into the mattress, slowly crawling on top and putting all his weight on the other man, helpless and pinned underneath him. He thrust his tongue deeply inside the warm and inviting mouth, seeking, probing the sweetness inside that was all his.

Reita moaned and sucked delicately at Kai’s tongue, pulling it deeper inside his mouth. His hands slid under Kai’s shirt, fingers clawing up and down his back. He knew Kai liked this. Just a little harshness from him. Kai broke the kiss and brushed his lips over Reita’s cheek, to his ear. He softly breathed in the ear and licked it, outlining it delicately with his tongue. Reita moaned harder, the feeling piercing his soul. Kai smiled and slid his lips down Reita’s throat, pausing to bite it gently and lick the soft skin. He left a trail of small red marks as he worked his way down Reita’s neck to his chest.

Kai could feel the blond twisting beneath him, Reita’s huge erection against his leg. He rubbed his own bulge against his lover’s, creating a feeling of high tension for them both. Reita dug his fingers in deeper, nails leaving red slashes against the fair skin of Kai’s back. His breath was becoming short and labored as he struggled to rip Kai’s shirt off.

Suddenly the young drummer laughed and pulled off of his lover. He took his shirt off and then unzipped his pants. He loved when Reita watched him strip with greedy, lust-filled eyes. Kneeling on the bed in front of the bassist, he slowly eased his shorts off, rolling them down to let his ridged cock spring out at full length. He let Reita touch his hardness as he silently stripped everything off. Now totally nude, he straddled his lover, slowly pulling up Reita’s shirt and planting small kisses across his hard, flat stomach.

He gently licked around the hard skin of Reita’s scar, still bright red and fresh, but healing nicely. Unzipping Reita’s pants, he continued licking until his lips met the dark hair peeking out of the bassist’s underwear. He grabbed the elastic and pulled it down and off, along with the pants. Kai threw Reita’s clothing on the floor and climbed back on top of him, in between his legs. He had to be careful how he put his weight on the older man, because of the recent surgery.

Reita was still staring at him with hungry eyes. “Take me baby. Make me yours.” That was all Kai needed to hear. A drop of pearly pre-cum beaded the end of his cock. He leaned down and firmly took hold of Reita’s stiff cock, rubbing his hands up and down the length of the shaft, softly putting the tip in his mouth, rolling it around with his tongue, making Reita moan and cry out. His index finger slipped down lower, between the crack of Reita’s ass, feeling for the small hole. He found it and started to stroke it gently, rubbing his finger against the top of the skin, back and forth.

Smiling wickedly, Kai reached across his lover to grab the bottle on the nightstand. A bottle of mayonnaise. This was a small perversion he had come to like, and he enjoyed sharing it with Reita. It made the after sex licking much more enjoyable, even if it did create more of a clean up problem. He pulled Reita’s legs over his shoulder as he squirted some of the mayo right into Reita’s ass. Still fondling the blond man’s hard cock, Kai put the tip of his cock into Reita’s hole and gently thrust, inching his way slowly inside.

Both men moaned loudly as Kai sunk his hard, thick shaft deep into his lover’s ass. He rested for a minute before pulling out and ramming it in again, hard. Ahh! Reita was so tight! Almost frenzied now, Kai thrust himself over and over into Reita. The bassist clutched at the bedcovers as he arched his body towards the younger man on top, wanting to feel him all the way, buried securely inside. Faster and harder they fucked, until they both reached a crescendo, the ultimate point of feeling. As the wave of ecstasy crashed over Kai, he felt his hot seed spurt deeply inside his lover, His muscles contracted as he fell on top of the blond, holding him tightly. Reita cried out as the wave engulfed him also, his stickiness erupting, covering both of them.

Silently they clutched at each other. Lips seeking lips for a long kiss of passion and love. This was the way it was suppose to be and Kai was content and happy to have his true lover. He no longer needed or desired anyone else. The temporary madness was over. This was his lover for the rest of his life.

They broke the kiss and Kai snuggled his head on Reita’s chest, as the older man wrapped his arms happily around his true love. “I love you so much.” He whispered into Kai’s ear. The drummer looked up and into the shining happy eyes of his love. “I love you forever Akira, only you.” He snuggled back down on Reita’s hard but soft chest. “Tomorrow let’s talk to Kouyou. Let’s make him go and see Yuu, hai?” Reita nodded his head. “Yeah baby, I want him to have a chance for the same kind of happiness that we have.” He kissed Kai and reached over to turn off the light.

***************

Shin woke up, the sun was low in the sky. Umm… He must have slept through the day..He shrugged. No matter. He didn’t have to be anywhere. He could hear Aoi still snoring peacefully on the other side of the screen. He needed some coffee and a cigarette. He could do it himself. And this would give him a chance to look around the house a little bit too, before Aoi woke up.

Rolling onto his side, he sat up slowly. Umm… his head… he needed that coffee now! The guitarist stood up and retied the sash on his robe. Silently, so as not to disturb Aoi through the screen, he quietly made his way down the stairs and to the kitchen. There was noise coming from the kitchen. He came around the doorway and paused. A handsome dark-haired man was cooking something at the stove. He was still staring when the man looked up, a surprised expression blossoming over his face. Just for a second, then the man had total composure again.

He stepped over to his and bowed. “Hello. I am Hiroki. And..?” The question hung in the air… Shin drew himself up and ran his hand unconsciously through his hair, smoothing the sleep out of it as best he could. He returned the bow but deeper. “I am Shin. I am Yuu’s old friend. I came from Osaka last evening.” Hiroki smiled. “Yes. Yuu has spoken at great length about you, your friendship. You were comfortable last night?” “Yes, I was.” Shin laughed. “I apologize for not giving advance warning about my arrival.” He realized that he was still standing in the doorway, almost unable to take his eyes off this very good looking man. He moved into the kitchen, now wishing he had dressed first, and combed his hair. Hiroki gestured for him to sit down. I have some coffee prepared. Will this be good?” Shin sat down gracefully at the kitchen table. “That is wonderful, er.. Hiroki. May I help you?” “No!! Sit and wake up properly. You are my guest.” Hiroki handed him a steaming mug of black coffee and Shin could feel the softness, but strength of his fingers.

He accepted the coffee and leaned back in his chair. Hiroki brought two bowls of rice over to the table and a small pot of green tea to pour over the top of it. Shin was grateful for the breakfast. He indicated the care package of various foods he had brought with him and Hiroki smiled. How generous and handsome this Hiroki was, Shin thought. They spoke about various things, getting to know one another, laughing as well when they heard a movement at the doorway. The men turned to look. Aoi was awake. “Oh.. you have met then.” He shuffled bleary-eyed into the kitchen. Both Shin and Hiroki smiled knowing Aoi’s state in the morning hours.

Aoi filled a mug with coffee, drank deeply and turned around. “What were you laughing about?” Shin’s laughter was light and soft. “You of course Yuu and your soapy antics in the bathtub.” Aoi turned bright red at this. He had hoped Hiroki wouldn’t find out about his lapse of manners. “I cleaned it out Hiroki… it was an oversight..it won’t happen again.” Hiroki laughed. “It’s ok Yuu..”

Hiroki stood up and turned to Shin. I’m so glad we got a chance to start knowing each other. Now if you will both excuse me, I really have to sleep. Goodnight.” He smiled and bowed and left the kitchen for his own room.

Aoi sat down in Hiroki’s chair. “So you had a good time getting to know Hiroki?” Aoi stared at Shin. Shin wasn’t paying any attention to him. “Hey!!” The younger man shook his head and looked at Aoi. “So… That’s Hiroki? I can see why you got involved with him. He’s quite handsome and interesting….isn’t he?” He trailed off, staring out the kitchen door at nothing, a small smile on his lips.

End of Chapter 15

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [14/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2008-01-30T07:21:46Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 14/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: none for this chapter
Rating: workplace safe
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Band: Gazette, Kyo from Dir en grey in parts of the story.
Synopsis: Aoi is back in Tokyo alone and working as part of the city emergency team.
Comments: Kisses to kao_chan for getting me to write again. <3 Thank you baby. Not beta read. C & C are appreciated. ^^ I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Aoi turned his car into the driveway and cut the engine. He leaned back in the seat for a moment, too tired to even move, too tired to get out of the car and drag himself into the house. His skin was coated with a thin layer of plaster dust that was stuck to the oily sweat that covered his body. He could even feel the fine grit through his hair, stuck to his skull, under his clothes. It itched everywhere and he would welcome a cool bath. Instead he reached into his pocket and took out his cigarettes and lit one, inhaling the smoke deeply before expelling it. It was extremely hot outside and he felt like he was stuck to the seat of the small car. He took his sunglasses off and wiped the small beads of sweat dripping down his forehead and into his eyes with the back of his hand. The salt of perspiration stung his eyes, but the plaster dust stung even more.

He leaned back, his elbow resting on the jamb of the open window, the hot metal and the sun burning his flesh. He ignored the pain. He had gotten good at ignoring the pain lately. All the pain. He found that the harder he pushed his body, the more he sweated and ached, the lighter the pain in the heart became. But it still was not enough. The pain in his heart was always there, aching, screaming inside his chest. The pain reverberated through his soul. At night, alone in the dark it tore him apart.

He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the rearview mirror. He was dark now, almost black, burned by so many hours spent laboring in the hot sun. Even the thin layer of plaster dust that coated him couldn’t lighten his skin enough to make him look like he had even a few weeks ago.

He looked away and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see an image of himself. Not that it mattered what he looked like. It wasn’t that that bothered him. It was the memory of when he had cared that bothered him. The memory of why he had cared.

He finished his cigarette and throwing it out into the street, slowly picked up his thermos, bento box and a sack of rice and got out of the steaming hot car. He closed the door and walked up the path to the gate of the house. It wasn’t much cooler out on the street, but at least he wasn’t roasting like in an oven. He smiled grimly as he thought of himself as a chicken in an oven. He surely wasn’t scrawny like a chicken. Four weeks of working outside had not only toughened him up, but had put a substantial layer of muscle on his bones.

He opened the gate and walked up to the house, setting down the heavy bag of rice to unlock the front door. The door swung open silently, releasing a small draft of cooler dark air. Quickly now, he stepped into the entrance way, bringing his things in and removing his shoes before closing the door behind him. Hiroki’s house was starting to feel like home now. More of a home than anything he had had since he had come to Tokyo. He made his way through the now familiar path to the kitchen, setting the rice down on the counter and his dirty lunch things into the sink.

He went out back and got some water from the well, pouring some into a pot and setting it on a flame to boil. Better to wash up his things now, before he got too tired to move. The rest of the water would go for a small bath. He looked at the water, willing it to hurry and boil. Stupid idea. He smiled at his own impatience. It was a small remnant left from the ‘older’ days. He had really become pretty good with patience lately. His mind kept returning to his ‘secret’ project. That was an extreme exercise in patience. And who knew if it would even ever succeed. But he had to try. That was all he could do.

He reached under the counter and grabbed a warm beer. Cracking it open he sat down at the kitchen table. He dug in his pocket for his cigarettes again. He lit one and leaned back, smoking and sipping his beer, waiting for the water to boil. He would be patient! He cast his mind back over the last few weeks. That evening at Yamagata City had been probably the worst evening of his life. His world had fallen apart. Literally. Thank God for Hiroki. The man had insisted that he follow normal routines.

He had gone to the dinner and met everyone. The Prime Minister had been impressed to meet him, liking rock music the way he did. Although he had felt broken inside, he had risen above himself and struggled, succeeding in presenting a calm exterior to the world. The way his Grandfather and Father always had. Smooth, placid; strangers never knowing what lay underneath the calm exterior. Too bad he could barely remember the evening. He had walked through it in a polite haze. Later at the hotel, Hiroki had held him quietly all night as he cried his heart out, broken and shattered inside. He had lost the one thing in his life that mattered most to him and he had been too stupid to realize that until it was too late.

They had returned to Tokyo the next day and he had started his new job working for the emergency relief team that Hiroki oversaw. He had asked for and gotten a manual labor job. Hiroki had been prepared to give him an easy desk job, but he didn’t want that. He wanted to be out on the streets, making a difference that he could see. He needed not only the immediate gratification of knowing he was doing something worthwhile, but also he craved backbreaking work that would punish his body for hurting not only Uruha, but in the end, himself. Nothing was too hard or too challenging for him, and he took every dirty job offered. Digging water and gas lines, clearing and removing rubble that the heavy equipment couldn’t get at, deep in the cellars or other unreachable places. And there was the one time he had gone with a team into yet another ruined building. The smell had been strong there, a rotting stench. Covering their faces with masks, Aoi and the other men had gone in anyway, clearing out chunks of masonry, tile, plaster. This was after all their job. Aoi still cringed mentally thinking about how he had seen the small, partially eaten foot that poked out from under the pile of fallen material. Uncovering the rest had exposed a bloated, badly disfigured body of a child. What the dogs hadn’t been able to get. He had backed away and vomited.

As hard as that was, he was thankful that he had the job he did. Every fresh new tragedy he ran into helped ease his sense of lose. It helped to numb his heart. After a forty eight hour shift he would come back home, tired beyond belief. This was the only way that sleep was even possible. Not a second went by that he didn’t think of Uruha and his love for the blond man. He constantly thought about what Uruha was doing now. Was he sleeping, eating, going out with friends, practicing his guitar, laughing, crying? He really had no way to find out. The first week he had been back, he had tried to call, using Hiroki’s office telephone line. He had left countless messages, begging, pleading, crying to be heard, to at least just talk. Nothing was returned.

He shrugged thinking about it. There wasn’t much he could do about it now. He wouldn’t give up hope, but he had to keep going on. He was learning patience the hard way. At least he had gotten through to Shin. Hiroki had allowed them to talk for over and hour and Aoi had poured his heart out to his best friend. That had helped. How he wanted to see Shin again. But it was difficult to drive back into Tokyo still and Aoi had understood that.

Aoi heard the water on the stove come to a boil and he got up and turned the flame off. He poured some of the boiling water into a pan and added cool water, washing his lunch box and thermos, quickly and efficiently. He put them aside to dry on the rack. Picking up the kettle with the remaining hot water he carried it into the bathroom and poured it in the tub. He went back and got more cool water to add until the bath was temperate. Stripping off his tank, jeans and shorts, he squatted on the tile floor, pouring more cool water over his body. The shock of the cool water to his hot, sticky body brought goosebumps to his flesh. He scrubbed himself all over with the bag of rice bran and then doused himself again with more cool rinsing water.

Getting up from the floor, he got into the tub to soak and relax. The warm water splashed around his shoulders as he sunk into the deep tub. He lay back, relaxing his tired muscles and closed his eyes.

He understood now how Ruki had deceived him about Uruha in an attempt to get him to come down to Osaka. It hadn’t been true at all that Uruha had forgotten him or had been ignoring him or stopped loving him. He squeezed his eyelids together tightly, fighting tears that still threatened to come, even after a month. He had allowed himself to believe that he was justified in fucking Hiroki. That Uruha didn’t care, so why should he? Oh! How could he be such a deluded fool!!! Such a stupid and impetuous fool! He stopped thinking for a moment. He listened to the gentle sounds of the water lapping around his body as he moved and pretended he was once more at the ocean. His heartbeat slowed and the pain eased a fraction. He gently let his breath out and opened his eyes. He had no hatred or anger towards Ruki. No matter what was said, he should have trusted Uruha anyway. And he should have not allowed anything to have swayed his own sense of doing the right thing, or interfere with his love.

He thought again about his project. His ‘secret’ project. Not even Hiroki knew about this. Aoi full lips curved in a small smile. This was all he had to keep him going. To sustain a hope that maybe he could redeem himself to Uruha. He had gone and visited the blonds’ apartment only to find that the building was being leveled. He had managed to get inside and salvage a few special personal things that Uruha had left that Aoi knew he would want. Making several trips, he had brought these things back to Hiroki’s house for safety. Aoi’s own apartment was gone. The building, being unsafe had been torn down and already a new structure was going up.

He was lucky to be able to stay with Hiroki, but he knew that this was only temporary. He needed his own place. He needed his own space. Uruha now had nowhere to come back to either. All over Tokyo, things were returning slowly back to normal. The efficiency was really amazing. Soon the people would start to pour back in and finding suitable living arrangements would be hell. Aoi had managed to find a small but safe apartment. It was in an area where the devastation had been less severe. The owner was a relative of one of the men he worked with, so he had been able to get to the front of the waiting list. The cost was astronomical, and there was a lot of cosmetic work to be done, but Aoi didn’t mind. He was lucky to find something this nice and he took it. He wanted to make it a lovely place. He wanted to fill it with lovely things and make it better than comfortable. Better than temporary. He wanted to make it a home. He wanted this to be a home for both him and Uruha. He wanted to offer Uruha a place by his side for all time.

Even if Uruha didn’t want to live with him, or love him ever again, Aoi wanted to be able to just offer it to Uruha for his very own. As a gift.

It hurt him to think that this might be how everything would turn out in the end, but he had to be realistic. Even if his heart screamed NO!.

At the end of every work shift, Aoi had gone over and worked on the little apartment. Cleaning, sweeping away debris, painting, finding and laying fresh tatami matting. There was so much to do to make it as beautiful as he wanted, but it was a labor of love. Soon it would be ready and he could start to take Uruha’s precious things over. There was still more furniture to find, more things to get, and Aoi wanted it to be perfect in every way. As tired as he was after working so hard for the people, for the city, nothing had been able to keep him from visiting the apartment to work again for himself, for Uruha. Knowing that he was doing somethingconstructive for the man he loved filled him with hope and kept him going forward. It was all he had left.

Aoi looked down at his body. It was starting to wrinkle up from the long, hot soak. He washed his hair quickly, scrubbing the dirt and grit out of his scalp and rinsing off the soap. Now it was time to get out. He grabbed the sides of the tub and hoisted himself up, water splashing on to the tile floor. Stepping out, he grabbed the soft white towel and rubbed himself dry. He tied on a soft, thin blue and white patterned cotton robe, one of Hiroki’s and cleaned up after himself in the bathroom after combing back his long dark hair. He had become very efficient, his needs simple.

Aoi padded softly into the kitchen, getting his cigarettes and another beer. Going into the living room, he took his guitar out of its case and sat down to practice. No matter what else happened, he had to keep practicing. He had written several more songs this past month and wondered if he would be accepted back into the band and allowed to play them for everyone? He had gone from wanting space away from them, to being pushed away by them. Now all he wanted was to fit back in with everyone. And he wanted the love of his love by his side.

Hiroki wasn’t due to end his own shift for another thirty six hours, so Aoi had the whole house to himself for the next day. He took a deep draught of his beer and set it down. Mournfully, he struck a few chords. Then a few more. A song came out of his fingers as he lost himself in the joy of playing. The sun sunk lower in the sky, plunging the quiet house into shadows filled with pink and violet light. Aoi looked up as he noticed the darkness creeping into the house. He put the guitar down and lit a cigarette. A sudden whirring noise from outside distracted him for a moment. He realized just how quiet everything was without electricity. He picked up his beer again and was about to drink when he heard a knock at the front door.

Almost out of sheer curiosity, Aoi got up and went to the door. Who would be coming here now? He opened it to see a small, thin, dark haired man standing outside holding a large travel bag. The man was turned away from him and waving at another man climbing into a helicopter which was parked in the field across the house. The helicopter was making the noise he had heard. It took off as Aoi stared at it, swallowed up in the darkening sky. He looked back to the man at the door. It was Shin.

“Hey babe. You going to make me stand here all night? We have to talk.”

End of Chapter 14

Little Heaven [Oneshot/Ruiza x Asagi]

2008-01-13T18:39:04Z

Title: Little Heaven
Season & Theme: Spring/Petals
Band: D
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Workplace safe
Rating: G
Pairings: Ruiza x Asagi
Disclaimer: Well I claim Ruiza’s claw hands in my mind. Ok not. They aren’t mine, sadly enough.
Synopsis: How do you react when the love of your life cuts you off, forever?
Comments: Written for 4seasons_fics , Season: Spring/Theme: Petals. Not beta-read. This took me somewhere I didn’t intend to go. I may need to do a follow-up. I may have something in mind.

Ruiza walked along the hard sidewalk, his head down against the sharp bitter wind. It was February and the wind should have been soft and gentle, but it seemed as if even nature was conspiring to match the icy pain stabbing his heart. The bone chilling cold could not compete however with the mind numbing pain he already felt. He finished his cigarette as he walked, throwing it out into the street and almost absent mindedly tugging his white parka closer.

The sun was high above. A small halo of pale brightness that couldn’t penetrate the grey dismal gloom that clung to the city. He could have taken a cab, but somehow walking felt better. The sheer physical exertion seemed to calm his agitated soul. Such a stupid argument. One mistake and Asagi had gotten upset, refusing to talk to him, see him. He knew the handsome vocalist was emotional. That was part of his brilliance. They had had their small trivial arguments before, but never had it gone this far and for so long.

It seemed as if they truly were made for each other, they got along so well, each almost able to read the other’s thoughts, have fun and laugh at small things as well as discuss seriously the important things. Ruiza couldn’t imagine having anyone else in his life and didn’t want anyone else. The pain in his heart sharpened as he thought of losing his beloved and he felt sick to his stomach. Three days had passed without a word from the dark haired man. Three whole days. Three day where the blond hadn’t been able to eat, to sleep, to do anything.

His eyes were red –rimmed from not enough sleep and too many tears. His apartment was a mess. He walked from room to room, picking up a memento of something they had shared together, then dropping it and going on into the next room, his mind in a daze. His guitar was his only solace.. the somber, minor chords he plucked echoing the sounds inside his heart. Friends called, their messages left unanswered on his phone, their voices left unheard. He just couldn’t speak to anyone like this. He had nothing to say. His pain had left him speechless.

He had come to Asagi’s apartment at first, but the lock had been changed. His key no longer worked. That had worried him. Why would Asagi do that! Pounding on the door had done nothing but bring the wrath of the neighbors upon him. Slinking away quietly, he decided to give the dark haired man some time to come to his senses. Surely this was just a big mistake? Three times he had sent large bouquets of fragrant red roses to his beloved. One each day. Still nothing. Now, desperate, he had decided to go back to try and see Asagi again. If they could only talk, Ruiza knew they could straighten it all out. If he could only hold him.

Again a gust of bitter, icy wind caught the edge of his parka, lifting it, exposing his skin to the cold. Small goose bumps dotted his skin, but he didn’t feel it. He slowed his steps. Asagi’s apartment was just ahead. He decided to go around to the back, to see if any lights were on in the apartment before he rang the bell. He walked into the small alley between the flats and looked up at the third floor. Yeah. Asagi was home. Lights were blazing away. He turned to walk back to the front, when the garbage container caught his eye. On top of all the offal, were three bunches of roses. Red roses, still wrapped partially. He walked over slowly and touched one of the bouquets. The petals were blackened around the edges from the cold, from lack of water. Their once fragrant odor now a reeking part of the stinking mess they sat upon.

The blond man plucked a single petal from the garbage as a small hot tear slid down his cheek. He put the petal to his lips as more tears splashed from his eyes, dropping silently, wetting the neck of his parka. His heart felt torn asunder freshly. The ache making his chest feel hollow. The pain making his stomach heave and twist. Oh dear god…How? Why? What more could he do to apologize…to prove his love? Should he just give up, go away, pretend that what they had shared had never really happened? He walked softly back down the alleyway, to the sidewalk, his mind reeling, stunned, his spirit crushed.

No. he couldn’t give it up. He couldn’t just walk away. He closed his eyes. This man meant everything to him. This man was his life, his future. In his mind, he envisioned a bright road ahead, filled with love. In his mind, his companion was at his side, holding his hand tightly. In his mind, the air was filled with the warmth of the sweet spring breeze, the soft touch of sunshine caressing his body. This was his own little Heaven.

He opened his eyes to the dismal, dark grey city that surrounded him. The noise that surrounded him. The clogging smell of the cars and people that surrounded him.

He brushed the tears from his eyes and walked down the street to find a fresh bunch of shining red roses.

The end.

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [13/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2008-01-07T07:16:48Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 13/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Band: Gazette, Kyo from Dir en grey in parts of the story.
Synopsis: Ruki gets a call from Hiroki and they talk about Ruki's part in the whole affair and how they can fix things. Kyo encourages Ruki to talk to Uruha.
Comments: Sorry. This is a short chapter, but it is sort of a transition time in the story. Bear with me until the next chapter. Not beta read. C & C are appreciated. ^^ I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Ruki sat up in bed, Kyo’s arms sliding down his smooth white body. He arranged the sheets to cover himself and turned to his lover. Kyo leaned over and wrapped his strong arms around the younger man, kissing his shoulder softly. Ruki was an amazing man and Kyo loved him very much, but he could be too devious and impatient for his own good. The older man had warned him against interfering with Aoi and Uruha, but he hadn’t listened. He was stubborn too. Now the band was in a mess and hearts had been devastated, just when they were healing.

The older man softly nuzzled Ruki’s neck, leaving a trail of small kisses, the skin warm and so soft under his lips. Ruki sighed with pleasure, feeling his lover touch him. He stroked Kyo’s hard back and held him close as the older man pushed him back down into the bed, their heads buried together in the soft pillow. “Baby” Kyo whispered into his lover’s ear. “I’m glad you had a nice long talk with that guy, that Hiroki. Maybe now things will settle down around here? Hai? We don’t need any more drama now, and not from you baby. You agree?”

Ruki looked up into Kyo’s big brown eyes, lank strands of blond hair hanging down, covering his eyes. Ruki brushed the hair away. He could see the intensity in those beautiful eyes. The intensity was always there, shining, burning him. He shivered slightly. Kyo had that effect on him. Always. He closed his eyes against the glare of slight disapproval. Kyo didn’t give his advise often to the younger man, but only when he thought it was important, preferring that Ruki make his own decisions and errors too. But he had warned Ruki against interfering, and the younger man hadn’t listened. Now there was hell to pay.

It had been an extraordinary day. Ruki had left that message to Aoi, both out of anger as well as thinking this might bring Aoi to his senses and get him down here. He didn’t really care who Aoi was fucking, but his heart had broken when he saw how crushed Uruha had been. Even if it had been his fault for misleading Aoi, making him think that Uruha was no longer interested in him, he still felt horrible seeing the blond guitarist crying alone in his bedroom, refusing to eat, refusing to come out.

It has been a total surprise though to receive a call from this Hiroki fellow later that evening, using Aoi’s cell phone as well. Hiroki had been angry, asking Ruki who the hell he thought he was to make Aoi so upset. Ruki had laughed at this. Who was he? He was Ruki! And who the hell are you Hiroki? He had asked. Just some guy Aoi had attached himself to, Ruki assumed. He assumed wrong. Hiroki was distantly related to the Emperor on his Mother’s side. He had a high government position and he was pissed.

Hiroki explained how Aoi had collapsed into his arms after hearing the call, how he had made, no, demanded that Aoi go to the dinner with him. He knew he had to get him out of the hotel room and couldn’t leave him on his own in that state. Hiroki knew Aoi was taking all the blame for what had happened on himself and yet Hiroki had put it all together and figured out Ruki’s part in it too. He demanded that Ruki take care of the mess at his end with Uruha, and he would take care of Aoi here and in Tokyo.

Ruki listened, finally understanding what harm he had caused. With Kyo staring at him with knowing eyes as he listened to the angry man on the phone, the young vocalist felt somewhat chastened. “I’ll explain my part in all of this to Kouyou, but that still won’t take away the hurt that Yuu caused him. And I didn’t push Yuu into your bed. That was all his own doing. He still has to face his own part in it and make amends with Kouyou on his own.” “Agreed. He takes full responsibility. He hasn’t denied it. It was also my fault. He told me how much he loves Kouyou, but I let myself come between them anyway. Yuu wants now to come to Osaka desperately, but I have talked him into coming back with me to Tokyo, to finish what he started to do there. To work for a little bit. Then maybe, maybe hearts can heal. He will stay with me as a friend only.”

Ruki absorbed this and sighed. Maybe this was the best way. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to control things. He took down Hiroki’s office number at work and his cell number, if the service should come back. He also got the house address. He didn’t want to lose contact again with Aoi. At least now he could keep tabs on him through Hiroki. He found himself liking this other man on the phone. He was something. “I’m sorry about everything Hiroki. Please take good care of Yuu. But don’t tell him I said so.”

“Baby, look at me.” Almost without free will, Ruki opened his eyes to look at his sweetheart. “Hai? You agree?” He nodded his head slightly. “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” He sighed. Kyo nodded. That was good enough. Nobody ever got an apology from Ruki. A person was more likely to get a “Fuck You!” than an apology, and Kyo was the only one to ever hear this. And now Hiroki. He kissed his lover slowly, his warm tongue parting Ruki’s full lips. They might both be stubborn in their own way, but they were good together. They understood one another. They burned together. Both possessing an intense flame of life that captivated the other. Kyo was satisfied now that maybe Ruki had leaned a small lesson about how he thought he should “handle” people.

Kyo bent over the younger man again, rubbing his face against Ruki’s cheek, his neck, his chest, the stubble of his unshaven face making a rough, but not unpleasant sensation for the young vocalist. He let his body slip lower down the length of his lover’s body, slowly, gracefully, like a cat, kissing, licking the tender white skin. Teasing Ruki with his lips, his tongue. The younger man shivered violently under the wonderful caresses and evidence of his longing sprung up, hard, erect. Kyo smiled. He liked teasing Ruki slowly.

“So baby, you will talk to Kouyou then tomorrow morning?” Ruki moaned softly as Kyo licked the tip of his hard cock. Ruki grabbed the blond hair that was tickling his stomach, weaving his fingers through the thick mane, holding on tightly to his lover like an anchor. “I will do it Tooru. I promise… I promise..” Kyo nodded slightly, satisfied with this promise. Ruki closed his eyes and sank in to blissful oblivion as he was engulfed by his lover.

****

The pitch black of pure night slowly gave way to the pale colorless grey of morning. Aoi stared at the light with eyes that hadn’t slept, hadn’t even closed once. He rolled over and got up off the floor and pulled his jeans on and searched for a clean tee. He was upstairs, back at Hiroki’s house and it was time for him to go to work. It was his first day. He wanted to work hard until he dropped, until he couldn’t feel anything anymore. Until he couldn’t see or think. Until he bled. Nothing mattered anymore.

End of Chapter 13

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [12/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-31T08:25:04Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 12/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Band: Gazette, Kyo from Dir en grey in parts of the story.
Synopsis: Aoi wakes up with a hangover after realizing what he and Hiroki have done the previous night. Resentment over Uruha's apparent continuing neglect drives him to continue in his destructive path. Later he receives 2 devastating phone calls.
Comments: Still not beta read. C & C are appreciated. Thank you for continuing to read my story even though my updates are slow. I apologize. Things are easing up in my life though and I should be able to post more frequently now^^ I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Aoi felt the headache even before he opened his eyes. He opened them, shutting them again quickly as the bright morning sun stabbed his head with the thrill of many sharp knives. “Aghhhhhhhhh…” He rolled over, bumping into a soft warm body. Where was he? Oh… Yeah… Yamagata City with Hiroki. Now memories of the previous evening came flooding back to him. He had gotten drunk and made a fool of himself. Worse, he had broken his own personal vow to leave Hiroki alone. He had seduced poor, sweet, gentle Hiroki. He squeezed his eyelids tightly together, as if it would banish the images of him and Hiroki making love, having sex… whatever it was.

Why oh why had he done this?? He berated himself for his own stupidity. He felt the residual stickiness coating his body from the previous evening. Shit! Evening? It had lasted all night! They must have made love more than five times! Was he that horny? Was he that slutty? It was too early to think about this, but he knew he had to face up to his actions sooner or later. As long as no body got hurt, maybe it was alright. As long as he could keep this from Uruha. He hadn’t intended for this to happen and now here he was, acting no better than Kai had acted towards him!

With a still throbbing head, he slowly opened his eyes again. There was Hiroki, sleeping peacefully, a smile on his beautiful face. He thought his own sexual appetite was quite large, but Hiroki was an animal in bed! He earned this blissful sleep and Aoi didn’t want to wake him, but he needed some relief from the pounding, mind-numbing hangover.

Slowly he moved away from the sleeping man and slipping out of the sheets, he got to his feet. A bit unsteadily, but standing erect nonetheless. He made his way to the bathroom and relieved himself. Okay. That felt better. Coffee. He needed coffee. Lots of it and strong! He walked back into the suite and picked up the phone, dialing room service. The thought of food made his stomach roll around a bit, but he decided that perhaps it would be good for him and added an order of onigiri to the room service request.

He put a robe on and sat down on the couch, lighting a cigarette, waiting for the room service to arrive. A small memory prickled inside his brain. Something about a phone call. He picked up his cell and scrolled down the list. Yeah. There had been a call last night. Last night while he had been drunk and approaching his orgasm, oblivious to reality. No. It wasn’t any number he recognized. Still a small, nebulous feeling of approaching disaster grabbed a hold of him, and he was unable to shake it off.

He hit send. Maybe he could find out who it had been and why they had called. He couldn’t say why, but it seemed important that he know. No answer. The phone cut to voicemail and it was an unfamiliar voice on the other end. “Umm.. hi… I don’t know who you are, but you called me last night… and umm, er.. I was just wondering why. I guess it’s not so important. Okay bye.” He ended the message and laughed to himself. He was probably over exaggerating the importance of this call in his own mind, despite that nagging feeling of having missed something crucial. And still … Uruha hadn’t even bothered to call him… or return any of his calls… all this time…

A small knock on the door signaled the arrival of room service and Aoi got up to answer it. He needed that coffee NOW! He cracked open the door and signaled for the man to be quiet, as Hiroki was still asleep. He signed and took the tray without letting the man into the room. He didn’t want the man to see his bedroom companion. “Do you want me to clean up your dinner things?” the man asked. Aoi shook his head. “Not right now. I’ll call you when I am ready.” Bowing, the man left and Aoi closed the door. He brought the tray into the suite and set it on the table, pouring himself a deep cup of coffee before sitting down again.

“Do you have one also for me?” Aoi turned around to see Hiroki, still in bed but awake and smiling at him. He smiled back and poured a second cup. Bringing both cups over to the bed, he handed one to Hiroki and sat down on the bed with his own. Hiroki took a small sip and sighed with relief. It sounded like he had needed this stimulant as well. The older man moved closer to Aoi and delicately nibbled his neck, sending chills of pleasure tingling down his spine. “So… umm… was last night okay for you Yuu?” Hiroki put his hand on Aoi’s shoulder and pulled him closer. Again he bent down and kissed Aoi’s long, white neck, licking and nuzzling gently. Aoi closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations. OH! Hiroki was so dangerous for him! The man was like some forbidden fruit, once enjoyed, never forgotten, the taste still lingering on the tongue making one hungry for more.

“Hiroki.” Aoi said gently, softly. “I enjoyed last night. Very much. But you should know that. I came so many times for you.” “With me” Hiroki corrected. “Hai, with you.” Aoi paused a moment. “I don’t want to hurt you or give you false hope. You know that I’m still in love with Kouyou. I really didn’t mean for that to happen last night. I know I started it.” Aoi looked down at his lap. He didn’t know how to fix things or make them better, but at least he was going to be honest, unlike Kai.

Hiroki gently stoked Aoi’s cheek, his jaw. He lifted Aoi’s chin so that their eyes could meet. “I know the score. I understand your heart. I am happy to be able to have you however or whenever you allow it. I know that I’m not here.” He put his other hand over Aoi’s heart. “But you are in my heart. Just a few moments with you is enough to give me a lifetime of happy memories Yuu. That’s good enough for me. I don’t expect more from you.” “But I do ca….” “Shush baby” Hiroki put his hand over the younger man’s lips, not wanting to hear any excuses, any justifications. His heart was calm and content. It was better not to hear Aoi say any more. It was easier somehow.

He kissed Aoi softly on the lips, as if it were their last kiss. Every touch, every kiss, every thrill of his body, he regarded as the last, in case it were. Aoi parted his lips, allowing Hiroki’s eager tongue to enter. He could feel the strength in the older man, the tender love. His desire quickened as he became aroused from the passionate, deep kiss. Hiroki was sucking his breath away, his soul. Replacing it with fresh, hot desire. The older man pushed him down against the mattress, his strong, lithe body covering Aoi’s, still locked in the life-giving kiss. He could feel Hiroki pull the robe from his shoulders, massaging the skin of his arm, then his chest, lower down the length of his body.

Aoi wrapped his arms tightly around the older man, caressing the warm skin under his fingers. Their erect and swollen organs were rubbing against each other, causing a delightful, almost painfully pleasurable sensation. Aoi was thrusting his tongue inside of Hiroki’s mouth, deeper and deeper. Seeking to penetrate him as he wanted, no craved to be penetrated by this strong and virile man on top of him, yet once again. Hiroki broke the deep kiss, moving his lips over Aoi’s throat, his collarbone, his chest. The younger man let out a long sigh, no, groan of pleasure, his hard cock swelling to even larger proportions.

As if divining what was in Aoi’s mind, Hiroki mounted the younger man, throwing Aoi’s legs up over his shoulders. He placed the tip of his hard cock against the still slippery orifice and plunged himself deeply inside. Aoi let out a yowl of pleasure. Deep guttural sounds came from his lips. It had been so sudden! He was filled so completely! Hiroki thrust his thick cock in and out of Aoi’s ass, plunging deeper inside with each thrust, desperate to possess a man he couldn’t really own. He was fully engulfed inside of his sweet guitarist and the outside world seemed to melt away, as it always did as he made love to Aoi.

Aoi could feel Hiroki pumping away hard and fast, inside of him, slipping out momentarily only to plunge deeper in the next time. He could feel his pleasure mounting, his own cock throbbing in time to his heartbeat. A crescendo of euphoria swept over him, engulfing him in sweet delight. He felt Hiroki stoke his stiff cock and the wave of pleasure broke over him and he erupted in Hiroki’s hand. His body convulsing as he arched his body to meet the other man. He cried out and clutched for the older man, pressing against him tightly, holding him closely. Hiroki thrust once again into Aoi and came, the hot sticky liquid squirting deep inside, warming him. He could feel Hiroki’s heart beating wildly against his own. They lay there, still and wet, clasped in each other’s arms. The sheets in damp and wild disarray around them.

Such delicious comfort! Aoi felt light, peaceful. His worries and his headache a thing of the past. He clung tighter to the older man and nuzzled his neck gently, kissing and biting softly. How lucky that they didn’t have to be anywhere today, but could luxuriate here until the party tonight.

Aoi felt Hiroki stir and sit up, pulling his now limp cock out of Aoi’s ass. A flood of sperm spilled from his ass onto the sheets, wetting them both even more. He sat up also, moving away from the damp and rapidly cooling spot, laughing. He felt in a good mood now. Strong and good that Hiroki knew how things were. At least his conscious was eased on that account! He stirred from his reverie as Hiroki handed him a fresh and hot cup of coffee. He gulped it down like a drowning man. He still needed this in the morning! He took a small ball of onigiri and started to nibble at it. Umm… yeah… now he felt more revived.

Hiroki looked back at their bed and laughed. “I think housekeeping will need to come and give us fresh sheets. These are pretty messed up!” Aoi looked too. It was true. Multiple stains covered the once pristine white sheets, attesting to their virility, their activity throughout the night. He playfully shook Hiroki’s knee. “You want to take a shower? I think I need to be washed down. I’m probably more stained than those sheets are!” he grinned wickedly. Being washed down by Hiroki wasn’t the only thing he had in mind! And soap was oh so slippery. Hiroki took his hand and kissed it. “If you do all the work this time, I might agree…” he said back, wiggling his eyebrows.

Aoi drained the last of his coffee and stood up and holding onto Hiroki’s hand, he led them into the bathroom and shut the door. Starting the water, he stepped into the shower, the warm spray tickling his skin. Hiroki stepped in eagerly after him. Aoi could hear his cell phone ring, but decided against getting back out to answer it. He could get it later. He turned his attention to the older dark-haired man behind him, lathering up his hand with soap as the fine warm spray soaked through his hair, flattening it; the length streaming wetly down his back, against his smooth golden skin.

He pressed himself hard against the older man, running his soapy hands down the length of Hiroki’s back, to his ass. He kneaded the firm cheeks and slipped his fingers inside the crack, stroking softly, stopping at the small, tight orifice. Leaning in he kissed Hiroki’s lips, the fine wet spray of the shower mingling with the taste of the other man’s saliva. He inserted one soapy finger inside the small hole. Then another. He probed gently, trying to reach that sweet spot that would make Hiroki melt into him.

Hiroki clung back to him, moaning softly. Their wet bodies tangled and glistening under the softly falling water. Still kissing Hiroki deeply, Aoi thrust his body harder at the other man, until they were backed up against the wall, welded as one being; Aoi’s fingers thrusting in and out, rhythmically. Hiroki cried out with pleasure as Aoi touched that sensitive spot deep inside the older man. He broke the kiss and trailed his lips down Hiroki’s face to his neck, licking the water beads as he went. He sucked lightly on the soft skin, leaving a small red mark, his excitement building as Hiroki cried out and gasped for breath, his fingernails leaving red marks as they scraped roughly at the smooth skin on Hiroki’s back. He could feel the other man’s cock swelling even more between his legs as he put pressure on it, squeezing it between his thighs, moving back and forth.

“Yuu…. Take me… I’m ready to cum.” Aoi withdrew his fingers and kissed Hiroki deeply once more before turning him around roughly and bending him over. He put his hard, wet cock between the cheeks of the older man’s ass, rubbing it up and down for a few seconds, enjoying the feel of the wet skin against his own swollen cock before thrusting himself deeply inside. His hand grabbed Hiroki’s ass as he started to pump in and out. He could feel the warm water beating against his back as he fucked the older man hard and deep. He was enjoying the feeling of filling Hiroki’s ass with his hard cock.

The sound of the water falling around the two men combined with the sound of their ragged, sharp breath, the sound of moaning and pleasure. It was the sound of mounting excitement. The sound of desire and lust. Raw, guttural, animal passion. Aoi dug his fingers deeper into Hiroki’s ass, unaware that he was leaving deep red claw marks. Hiroki, bent over, clung to the side of the wall as Aoi slammed into him, again and again. Aoi reached around in front of Hiroki and took his stiff cock, fondling it, echoing their motions. He knew he was close to cumming and started fucking Hiroki faster, more desperately. A low growl escaped his lips as his orgasm overtook him. He slammed into Hiroki’s body once more, releasing a stream of hot seed. He wrapped his arms around the other man, clinging tightly to him. Hiroki took both of Aoi’s hands and held them in his own as he too came violently, pressing himself tightly against the younger man.

Slowly Aoi came back to reality. His body limp and spent from the violence of his passions. Hiroki stood up, still holding both of Aoi’s hands in his own. The two men clung weakly to each other as the warm water of the shower continued to rain upon them. Aoi squeezed the older man and kissed his back. He stepped away, appalled at the damage he had left on Hiroki’s back, his ass. He ran his fingers delicately down the deep, red gouge marks and bent down to kiss them. “I’m so sorry Hiroki. Did I hurt you? I didn’t realize what I was doing.” Hiroki turned around, eye to eye with his lover. He wrapped his strong arms around the younger man and kissed him on the lips. “It smarts a bit, but..” he laughed. “I will think of them as battle scars, from our love match.” He smiled, kissing Aoi once more.

He looked at his watch. “Can you believe that most of the day is already gone? We have to start getting ready now to make it to the dinner on time.” “Hai.” Aoi nodded and turned off the water. The men stepped out of the shower, grabbing thick warm towels to dry themselves. Hiroki turned to Aoi and dried his back before wrapping the towel around his own waist and stepping out of the room. Aoi put the towel aside and wiped the steam from the mirror. He grabbed his blow dryer and hairbrush, starting to put his long hair into some order. He wanted to look nice for all of the important people that Hiroki was going to be introducing him to tonight. He wanted to make a good impression and not embarrass his friend. There was no telling what those conservative men would think of a visual rocker suddenly in their midst!

He finished his toilette, and satisfied with what he saw, stepped out of the bathroom to dress. Hiroki was already done. The man looked so handsome! So fabulous dressed in a dark, beautifully made expensive dress suit. Aoi was glad he had been shopping yesterday! He felt confident he would look appropriate also. He got his new suit out of the closet, aware that the older man was watching him as he dressed. He finished buttoning the dark, subtly striped black and charcoal grey suit and turned towards Hiroki. “What do you think?” The older man walked up to Aoi and kissed him on the lips. “You take my breath away with your beauty Yuu.”

Aoi stepped away slightly and smiled. He felt a bit uncomfortable with himself. Yeah he has been honest with Hiroki, but he loved Uruha and here he was, still fucking Hiroki. He had to get a grip on himself soon and turn this thing back around to where he felt good about himself. One day, he would confess everything to Uruha and ask his forgiveness. One day. But he wasn’t sure Uruha even really cared. He still had yet to return any of Aoi’s calls. Partly this was the reason Aoi had allowed himself to start fucking Hiroki again. Resentment and mistrust does strange things to our brains. It was still no excuse for his behavior though and he knew it.

He put his cigarettes and lighter into his jacket pocket and grabbed the cell phone. He looked at the display readout to see who it was that had called him. Actually there were two calls now. One from the mystery person he had tried to contact earlier and one from Ruki. He hadn’t even heard Ruki’s call while in the shower. He called his voice mail box to listen to the messages while Hiroki was busy brushing his own hair and getting ready to leave.

“This is the person you called. We do not know each other, but it was not me who tried to call you last night. I lent my phone to Kouyou. It was he that called you. His own cell phone has been missing for some days now. I hope this information helped?”

Aoi stood there speechless as the true meaning of the words sunk into his brain. Uruha had called him last night! It was Uruha that had heard him in the throes of his orgasm! Uruha’s phone had been missing. That was why he hadn’t gotten a call back!

Dear Gods!!!

Numbly he played the second message, the one from Ruki.

“I don’t know what kind of shit you are trying to pull, but don’t bother coming to Osaka now. Your presence is not welcome here right now Yuu.”

End of chapter 12

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [11/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-21T06:41:54Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 11/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Band: Gazette, Kyo from Dir en grey
Synopsis: Aoi is with Hiroki, north of Tokyo. Ruki implements a plan to bring Aoi to Osaka, but will it backfire creating a rift between Aoi and Uruha?
Comments: I do apologize for not updating this in so long…I hope some of you still remember this story and are interested enough for me to keep the chapters coming? -_-; Like always, C & C are appreciated. ^^ I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :)

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Hiroki pulled up in front of a beautiful hotel when they got into Yamagata City. It was well north of Tokyo, safe and had all conveniences running smoothly, unlike Tokyo, which still writhed in the throes of the earthquake aftermath. Aoi looked at him and stared. “This is a beautiful hotel Hiroki.” Hiroki smiled and got out of the car, grabbing their small travel bags. He let the valet take the car away as the bell boy took their bags, and ushered them into the lobby. “This is where all the film stars stay when they come here for the annual film festival.” Hiroki said in hushed tones. “The government is putting me, us up here.” Aoi nodded his head as he looked around. This was such a beautiful part of Japan. So old fashioned but so wealthy. The drive up had taken many grueling hours and now it was well past lunch time. They hadn’t stopped to eat and he realized that he was hungry.

Hiroki checked them in and took Aoi’s arm, steering him towards the mirrored elevator. They went up to the room and Hiroki let them in, giving Aoi his own keycard. The bellboy put their bags down and Hiroki tipped him. He bowed and left, closing the door behind him. Aoi looked around. Nice room, luxurious even with his recently lowered standards. There was one large bed in the middle of the room. It looked so fluffy, soft, clean. Hiroki cleared his throat uneasily. “I hope this really isn’t a problem for you Yuu.” He looked nervous and ill at ease. Aoi turned around to Hiroki and smiled. He stepped closer and put his arms around the older man. He wasn’t nervous about it and didn’t want Hiroki to feel awkward. Aoi kissed Hiroki lightly on the lips and held him for a few moments before stepping away. He laughed and fell gracefully backward onto the bed, sinking deeply into the downy covers. “This feels like heaven” he said to the older man who was laughing, watching him. “Try it!” Aoi said. Hiroki walked over to the bed and self consciously tried to fall backward like Aoi had, but it was a little stiff and he ended up falling on top of Aoi. “I’m so sorry!” He quickly moved to the side, but Aoi was laughing and grabbed him and started tickling him.

“Don’t act all weird with me now, please? This is quite a romantic place and maybe we are not here as lovers now, but we’re still friends! We can still relax and have a good time and forget some of our hardships in Tokyo before we have to go back, ne?” Hiroki relaxed and grinned back. He had been acting different towards Aoi, since the previous afternoon, but he was so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing that would reveal his feelings for the younger man, or make Aoi feel uncomfortable around him. He had so been looking forward to bringing Aoi here as his lover. He looked at Aoi and smoothed back a small strand of dark hair that had fallen forward over the younger man’s eye. He nodded his head. “Okay. I’ll try Yuu.” Aoi smiled at him, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

Hiroki smiled back, then sat up, smoothing his jacket a little bit. He shook his head. Always he had so much fun with Aoi. The younger man made him take himself less seriously and enjoy the small things. He sighed softly. Aoi was so perfect for him, but…well he wasn’t perfect for Aoi and that’s all there was to it! He could deal with it, in time. He stood up and walked to the mirror, combing his shoulder length, dark, soft hair. He straightened his tie and rubbed the small creases from his trousers.

He turned to Aoi, still lying blissfully on the bed, staring at him. “I have to go now and make my report to the Prime Minister about the affairs in Tokyo and basically reassure everyone that we are doing all we can. I need to ask for more assistance though also, more money.” He laughed. “That won’t be so hard. They all want their beautiful homes rebuilt.” He looked at the beautiful guitarist, so serene and relaxed. It took all his willpower not to go back over there and rip the other man’s clothing off and try to make love to him. He turned back to his reflection in the mirror. “Tonight I am free, but tomorrow, there will be a small dinner party and you may come as my guest, if you wish. Today you are free as a bird to do as you wish.”

Aoi leaned back, a small downy pillow under his neck. He had been staring at Hiroki, remembering the strength in the older man, the tenderness, the love they had shared together just the previous day. He almost regretted that they weren’t lovers now… A small smile played on his lips. “I want to relax in luxury today. Contact my friends, walk around… .Umm.. maybe tonight we could just take it easy, order room service, stay in and talk, relax. You need this too.” Hiroki nodded his head and smiled back. Grabbing his briefcase he waved and left the room.

Alone! Aoi sighed deeply, happy and feeling peaceful inside. There was so much to do, but he didn’t feel like moving, he was so comfortable. Slowly he got to his feet and got his laptop out of the bag. It seemed like a million days ago when he had hurriedly thrown it into his satchel before evacuating his small apartment. In fact, it had only been a few days. So much had changed in his life though in those few days. So much had changed for so many people, he mused. He pulled the charger out, plugged it in and hit the power button. It sparkled to life. He wanted to talk to Uruha, to his bandmates. He pulled his cell phone out and plugged it in also. A multitude of messages popped out at him as he turned it on. Ruki, Shin, PS Company, Ryu-chan; their manager. Nothing from Uruha though. Had the younger man forgotten him already? Had his statement of love been a lie, like Kai’s? This idea darkened Aoi’s cheerful mood, casting a shadow over his thoughts.

He listened to all of them. ‘Call me Now!’ was all Ruki had to say, but fifteen different times and in fifteen different ways. Aoi grimaced. Ruki was probably very unhappy that he had decided to stay in Tokyo instead of joining them all in Osaka. Well fuck Ruki. He was doing what he had to do. Shin was more guarded. Aoi wondered if he had heard about the ….conflict… between himself and Kai? Everybody wanted a call back. Everyone wanted a piece of him. Everybody wanted him where they were. Only Shin was nice about it though.

He dialed Uruha first. He missed the beautiful guitarist and needed to be able to talk to him, to know that what they had started was alive. It rang several times and then went to voicemail. Aoi hung up and dialed again. Still Uruha didn’t answer. He let it go to voicemail this time. “Hi… it’s me.. I have my phone working. I miss you baby. Please call me? I want to know you’re alright. I love you.” He hung up, brooding. He still couldn’t understand why Uruha hadn’t tried to at least him a message.

The dark haired man sighed. Okay. Time to call Ruki.Better to get the difficult part out of the way now, rather than put it off. And besides, he wanted news about Uruha. He also wanted to know how Reita was doing, both physically and mentally. Aoi lit a cigarette and settled into a chair as the phone rang. He surfed the new items as he waited for Ruki to pick up. He really didn’t have to wait long. “Yuu! You bastard! Where the fuck are you and why aren’t you here with US??” Aoi was almost taken back by the vehemence in the vocalist’s voice. He relaxed a bit, knowing that was how Ruki was, especially when masking his deeper emotions.

“Umm… I am in Yamagata City with Hiroki. We just drove up today. It was my only opportunity to access the phone and the net.” “Hiroki, Hiroki, Hiroki! Who the fuck is this guy and what are you doing staying with him in Tokyo? You need to get your sweet, popular ass down here and be with us now!” ahh… the snide comment…so Ruki had heard the whole story from Uruha. “Is he fucking you? Is that why you’re staying there?” No!!! umm… err… No! We are not lovers.” Now, Aoi thought, praying Ruki wouldn’t press any further into it. He certainly didn’t want Uruha to get wind of any sexual activity that had happened between himself and Hiroki.

He steeled himself to say what he had to. “Listen Takanori. I know you can’t possibly understand what I am feeling now or what I have gone through emotionally, but I just need a small break from everything. I need to do something worthwhile. Something unselfish for a bit. Then I can heal and feel worthwhile once more. Then I can join you. Even if you can’t understand it, it’s what I am going to do!”

“Ah… so… I see. Traveling around Japan with another man is so unselfish and worthwhile. I see…” Aoi was starting to get angry. “No! I came here with Hiroki to be able to call you! To explain myself to you. You know there is no phone or internet service in Tokyo yet. Hiroki had to come up here because it has become a temporary base of the government. Even the Emperor is here now. I am only tagging along.” Aoi was silent, trying to let his temper subside. Ruki must be doing the same thing, as he was also silent. “Anyway… How is Akira? And… Kouyou?” he said the name of the blond guitarist softly, almost afraid to make too big a deal out of it.

Ruki grunted. “Akira is healing nicely. He is alright really with what went down in Tokyo between you and Yutaka. They seem to be working it out.” Aoi closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him, trying to ignore the small prickle of hurt caused by hearing the drummer’s name, by being forced to remember the love he had held in his heart and given from his loins. He cleared his throat.

Ruki continued. “We are all fine here. That is why it is okay for you to join us now. Kouyou is out now with friends I believe. He has been enjoying himself.” Another small stab of pain in Aoi’s heart. “Will you ask him to call me? I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer.” “Sure. I’ll tell him, if I see him tonight. He has been staying out late. Drinking. Partying with friends.” Another pang in Aoi’s heart blossomed. His mood got even darker. Surely that was an indication that Uruha hadn’t really meant any of the things he had said. “umm.. well okay.. and can I talk to Akira yet?” “He is in physical therapy now, but I will have him call you also.” Ruki had changed from being angry to acting almost like he didn’t care. It puzzled Aoi, but he decided to ignore it. Maybe that was Ruki’s new strategy to get Aoi to come to Osaka? He said a fast goodbye with a promise to call again later and disconnected the call.

He tried calling Uruha yet again. As before, no answer. He left another small voicemail and hung up. He shut off the laptop and stood up. Maybe a small walk would do him some good. He would go and buy some new, clean clothing. He knew that he wanted a nice long, hot bath tonight. He wanted to enjoy the small luxuries he had almost forgotten over the past few days and relax. Pocketing his cell phone, he walked out of the hotel room, seeking some beauty and calm for his heart.

*~**~*

Ruki laughed as he hung up the phone. Yeah, Uruha was out, but he hadn’t been enjoying himself so much. Ruki had chosen not to tell Aoi that the blond guitarist had been quiet and moody, missing Aoi so much. Worrying about this Hiroki fellow. Well. Now at least Ruki knew that Aoi also felt the same about Uruha and that there was nothing going on between Aoi and Hiroki. He had wanted to make Aoi a bit jealous, to spur him to get his ass back with them. Uruha walked into the room. “I still can’t find my cell phone! Maybe I should just buy a new one?” Ruki turned away. He didn’t want Uruha to see his face. He had in fact taken and hidden the phone. He wasn’t trying to be cruel, but he wanted something to light a spark in Aoi.. Well… maybe not hearing from his beloved guitarist for a little while would do the trick. If that didn’t work, there was always Shin. The Kagrra, guitarist had agreed to go back to Tokyo and talk to Aoi. One way or another he would get what he wanted. He always did.

*~**~*

Aoi walked back into the hotel room, laden with packages. He had enjoyed his walk thought the city, well known for its annual international film festival. He had sampled the famous, if expensive local cherries and had brought back some as a surprise for Hiroki to eat later. He had laughed at the Yamagata-ben, the local and very rustic sounding dialect everyone spoke. Putting his bags down, he brought out the small luxuries he had purchased. Some clean pants and shirts, something nice to wear tomorrow when he went with Hiroki to the dinner party at the State House. Toilet supplies and some bubblebath! He was looking forward to a nice hot relaxing soak and the hotel tub was luxurious beyond his wildest dreams. Made of marble, it was large and deep. In fact it was large enough to fit four people comfortably.

He was still brooding on the absence of a call from Uruha. He had tried calling again and again. Nothing. Why was the other man ignoring him like this? Maybe he had better try to forget about the blond too…He put this out of his mind for now, as he pulled out the room service menu, looking at the amazing selection of entrees and delicacies offered. He decided to order a small pail of chilled beers and some warmed sake. He called and placed the order, adding several sushi selections to the order at the last minute. Hiroki would be here soon, and they could drink and relax before they selected dinner. Aoi turned the radio on. He needed to hear some music. A nice jazz station. That would do nicely.

A knock at the door signaled the arrival of his order. He let the man put it on the table beside the couch and signed his name to the bill. He cracked open a beer and drank it down. Yeah… that was more like it. Ahashi, super dry. He opened the sliding doors to the balcony and taking another beer, went out to smoke. He lit his cigarette and looked at the slowly setting sun. It was beautiful out. The sun had faded in the sky, leaving only a halo of color. A slash of crimson shading into coral and then pink. The deep, dark blue of the sky above. The first small twinkling stars appeared. As if to echo them, the lights of the city began to shine, rivaling the stars in the darkening sky. Looking at this seemed to melt all his troubles away.

His friends were safe and happy, he was here, comfortable and safe and he was with a companion that enjoyed being with him. He shrugged his shoulders. Maybe that was all there was to life? Aoi heard the small sound of the door opening in the room. He turned, seeing what he already knew. Hiroki was back. Walking into the other room, he greeted the tall man at the door, holding out a cold beer like he had the night before last.

“How was your day? Was the meeting successful?” Hiroki took the beer and nodded. “It was good. I am going to get all the resources and money I need. The Prime Minister was pleased with my report.” They walked into the room, chatting amicably, drinking more and eating the appetizers. Dinner was decided upon and ordered. Aoi was feeling cheerful again. His cell phone was near and from time to time, he eyed it, listening for a call from Uruha. Well fuck it. Fuck Uruha, if he didn’t care! He decided to not care so much also. It took away the hurt and made him feel better. In fact chatting and drinking with Hiroki was making him feel better.

The room service waiter brought dinner in on a small cart. The waiter spread a crisp clean cloth over a small table, arranging two chairs, placing their dinner and a small vase of flowers in the middle of the table. He brought out a small candle votive and lit it. Then he left them. Aoi and Hiroki sat down and burst out laughing. Obviously the waiter had thought their dinner was going to be a romantic one. “Do you want me to blow out the candle Yuu? Hiroki asked, uneasy. “No! It makes our dinner look even more appetizing and it is …. cute. Leave it!”

Hiroki poured some wine for them and they started eating in companionable silence. Aoi was feeling the effects of all the beer and wine by now. He felt light-headed and happy. He stared at Hiroki as he ate. The soft candle light was flickering, playing up the smooth planes of his handsome features. Hiroki was so sweet. How could he have hurt this sweet man the day before last? What he said must have been painful, even though the older man acted like it was no big deal. Aoi’s own heart had been wounded and here he was, hurting a wonderful man who loved him so much. Unselfishly. In his slightly inebriated state, he started to feel bad about everything. He started to feel angry at Uruha for ignoring him. He was feeling warm and wanted to feel loved. By someone. The dinner setting, the hotel, the food and wine, the candles and flowers were conspiring against him, making him feel romantic.

He put his chopsticks down and asked Hiroki to pour him some more wine. As he sipped it, he decided that he needed a bath. Now. “I bought some lovely bubblebath. Let’s try it out? Shall we?” “Yuu. Are you drunk?” Hiroki asked, slurring his own words slightly. “No… I just feel good!” Aoi smiled and got up from the table. He took off his shirt, his chest gleaming smooth and golden in the candlelight. Hiroki drew in a sharp breath. Aoi looked so… beautiful. He could feel his cock start to twitch. No Hiroki reminded himself. I can’t have him as my lover. He made that quite clear. Still… the sight of Aoi, now taking off his pants was causing him some serious grief.

Hiroki could see a noticeable bulge in Aoi’s shorts as well, before the dark haired guitarist turned and walked out of the room and into the bathroom. He could hear the water running, filling that marvelous and deep tub. “Hiroki! Come in here.” Aoi called out from the bathroom. The older man got up and made his way unsteadily into the bathroom. There was Aoi, lying back in the tub, eyes closed, surrounded by millions of delicate bubbles. The air steamed with the heat of the water, misting the large mirror opposite the tub.

“Bring the wine and get undressed.” Aoi commanded. He opened his eyes and smiled. “This really does feel good. It will relax you and you need it.” Hiroki went back and got the wine and their glasses. He started to take his clothes off, slightly self-conscious because Aoi was staring at him. At last, fully undressed, he got into the tub. His erection had been clearly visible to Aoi. Hiroki was worried about what the younger man would think, but he couldn’t help it! Aoi was a sexy man, and Hiroki was in love with him.

He settled back. Umm… this did feel good. He reached down and gave Aoi his glass of wine. He closed his eyes and tried to steer his thoughts away from the luscious, naked body opposite him in the tub. He felt a small kiss on his shoulder and realized that Aoi had moved closer to him. He moved away. “Don’t do that, okay? We decided to only be friends, or rather you did.” Aoi inched closer. “I know. I know that I hurt you. I am so sorry Hiroki. I don’t want to hurt you. I know what I said..but…maybe, maybe I was wrong?” Aoi shook his head, his long hair wet on the ends, trailing in the water, floating around his shoulders.

The guitarist reached out to touch Hiroki softly on the leg, beneath the water, beneath the bubbles. He needed something. He needed to be held and loved and he did love Hiroki. Maybe not as a lover, but he did love him. He just wanted some closeness. He slowly stroked Hiroki’s leg, sliding his hand farther up until he reached the hard erection. Slowly he ran his hands up and down the smooth shaft. Hiroki closed his eyes and sighed loudly. “Don’t play with me Yuu… please…” Aoi leaned over and kissed the older man on the lips. Hiroki’s breath was warm and came in short gasps as Aoi stroked him faster and faster, the water and bubblebath liquid making Hiroki’s cock slippery. He slipped his tongue inside the older man’s mouth, probing softly, but going deeper.

Moving over, Aoi angled his body so that he was sitting on top of the older man’s legs. He hadn’t stopped stroking Hiroki’s cock, but now pressed up against him so that his weight was against the other man, his mouth tight against Hiroki’s. The kiss was delicious. Hiroki was moaning and struggling to move against Aoi’s weight. The guitarist wrapped his free arm around the other man, holding onto him tightly as he continued to pump the swollen cock. He broke off the deep, sweet kiss, trailing his lips, his tongue down the side of Hiroki’s face to his ear. He stuck the tip of his wet tongue inside the delicate pink ear, licking lightly. Shivers of uncontrollable delight wracked Hiroki’s body and his breath became ragged and uneven. “I am not playing with you. I do love you. I was wrong to hurt you and I really do want you. I need you now. I don’t know what we are to each other, but I care about you.” Aoi kissed Hiroki again deeply. The other man was melting. “Just take me then! Do it now!”

Aoi could tell that Hiroki was very close to cumming. He stopped stroking the older man and instead pulled him around so that he was behind the other man. His own cock was hard and swollen. Throbbing. He knelt in the deepness of the warm water and placed the tip of his cock against Hiroki’s tight entrance. Pushing slowly, he eased his erection all the way inside the other man and then paused to give Hiroki a chance to get comfortable. He wrapped his arms tightly around Hiroki’s waist as the older man hung on to the side of the tub. Slowly he pulled his cock out and then thrust it in again. He took his time. Easy. Closing his eyes he created a rhythm, pumping his cock in and out, in time to the music in his head. He could hear Hiroki moaning, straining against the delicious feel of Aoi fucking him, filling his tightness with the hot, swollen harness.

Aoi groaned. Ahh… Hiroki was so easy to be with. Sex with him was so good. Hiroki had fucked the shit out of him before. Now it was Aoi’s turn to fill the older man. He started thrusting faster as the pleasure took over and the thoughts in his brain shut off. The warmth was in his heart, but it wasn’t real love. Aoi ignored this and concentrated on fucking his friend. Faster he pumped, in a frenzy. Hiroki let out a sudden cry. Aoi clung to the older man feeling his muscles tense and his body become rigid. Suddenly he knew he was also going to cum. The world swirled around him as he ejaculated a hot torrent of seed deep inside of the other man. He groaned loudly and clung tightly to the older man, his arms wrapped all the way around Hiroki.

Slowly the world up righted itself as he relaxed; now holding onto Hiroki limply. He pulled his cock slowly out of Hiroki’s ass and turned the other man around to face him. He placed a soft kiss on Hiroki’s mouth, opening his lips, seeking warm tongue of the handsome man. He could feel Hiroki’s heart beating. He could feel the warmth of his body, slippery and wet. He sat back and looked at the older man, reaching up to softly stroke his strong jaw line. “I hope I didn’t hurt you. Physically or…emotionally. But it does feel right to be with you close like this…and I just needed you…” Aoi broke off, now ashamed at the strength of his passion, the casual way he had just fucked Hiroki, without a thought for anyone but himself.

Hiroki responded by wrapping his arms around Aoi and holding him close. “I’m here for you, however you need me, no questions asked, no explanations needed.” Aoi looked up into Hiroki’s kind eyes. How unselfish this man was to him! He vowed to be always honest with Hiroki, to not abuse this love, given so freely to him. “Thank you. I’m still mixed up inside, and I know that’s no excuse, but I’m lucky to have you understand..and be there for me.” “Always Yuu…” Aoi laughed, seeing his friend smile. “So I guess it has become a romantic holiday after all?” “Maybe… “ Hiroki smiled back. They looked at the vanishing bubbles in the tub. Small clumps of sperm were lightly floating on top of the rapidly cooling water. “Time to get out, ne?” Hiroki said with a laugh.

Aoi nodded his head as he got up and climbed out of the tub. Hiroki followed. Their smooth bodies glistened, slick and wet. Aoi wrapped a warm, soft, thick towel around the older man and grabbed one for himself. Drying off they made their way to the bed. “Let’s leave the candle on. I’m not finished with you tonight.” Hiroki said as he pushed the younger man onto the soft bed. He couldn’t deny it. He was glad that Aoi had made the advance on him. He wanted to feel more of the younger man. He wanted to hold him all night, and by the feel of things, Aoi wanted the same thing with him.

Happily, Hiroki crawled into the bed along side Aoi. He slid down until his mouth was close to Aoi’s now limp cock. Putting his hand around the soft shaft, he wriggled it in the air. “This fellow has had quite a workout tonight, but…I promised you a blowjob and I feel the need to keep my promise. Let’s see if I can make him hard again!” Aoi laughed at this… until he felt Hiroki’s mouth slid silkily over his cock, sucking and licking, engulfing his entire shaft. Hiroki had his mouth full. Swallowing and licking. The smile was wiped off of Aoi’s lips as a feeling of absolute pleasure took over. He moaned softly, gritting his teeth as he felt his cock swell again for the second time tonight.

Slowly Hiroki slid Aoi’s cock in and out of his mouth, applying enough suction to drive Aoi wild. He slid it all the way out of his mouth. “I want you to come inside of my mouth. And then I’m going to fuck you righteously. All night long. I don’t have to be anywhere until the cocktail dinner. We can take our time.” He smiled mischievously and again slid his mouth over the length of the hard erection. Aoi’s breath was coming in short gasps. This was heaven! Hiroki was so skilled, so experienced and seemed to know just what to do to drive him crazy. Even hearing Hiroki talk to him about what he was going to do only added to and heightened the feeling! Aoi groaned again. He clutched at Hiroki’s head, grabbing onto the soft hair, his body arching up to meet the smooth, warm lips that were engulfing him.

A phone rang. Hiroki was close to it and grabbed it. He knew it must be Aoi’s because he had left his in his jacket pocket. He handed it to Aoi without looking as he sucked even harder on the erection in his mouth. Without thinking, Aoi opened it. He didn’t recognize the caller. A sudden rush of pleasure caught at him though and all he could do was moan. He closed the phone. Stupid phone, ringing now. Hiroki sucked faster now, tasting the precum on Aoi’s cock. An explosion of hot sperm filled his mouth as Aoi arched his body wildly and came. Hiroki swallowed every bit of it and then sliding the cock out of his mouth, crawled up to Aoi and kissed him deeply, the tingly taste of sperm still strong in his mouth, his kiss.

He broke the kiss and rolled Aoi over onto his stomach, climbing on top of him, anxious to fulfill his other promise.

*~**~*

In a dark quiet room in Osaka, a beautiful blond man dropped the phone he was holding, shocked and numb inside. A knock on the door, followed by a tall man entering. “Are you done with my phone yet?” He saw the phone on the floor and the wetness on the blond’s face. “What’s wrong? Did you get to talk to your boyfriend?” He walked in front of the blond and shook him lightly, to release the shock. “It was Yuu!!! And he sounded like he was having sex! Like he was…cumming!” Uruha broke down, crying his heart out.

End of chapter 11

A Kiss in the Snow [1/?] [Aoi x Ruiza, Shin x Nao]

2007-12-20T07:44:07Z

Title: A Kiss in the Snow
Chapters: 1/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance
Warnings: none yet
Rating: PG – for now *wink*
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Ruiza, Shin x Nao, hints of Uruha x Reita and Ruki x Kai
Band: Gazette, D, Kagrra,
Synopsis: Shin and Nao decide to set both Aoi and Ruiza up on a blind date without either of them knowing.
Comments: um… I know. It’s an unusual pairing. Inspired by my two favorite jrockers. Blame it on the beautiful Neo Culture album that I still can’t stop listening too!! Blame it on Aoi’s beautiful long hair^^ LOL. Like always, C & C are appreciated. ^^ This story is PURE fiction, created by my own lecherous mind. I own none of the beautiful men here, I just wish that I did^^

This is the 1st post in my new journal. You are invited to visit and look around^^

A Kiss in the Snow

Chapter 1

The phone rang, shattering the quiet of the small, dark apartment. A dark haired man reached over and absent-mindedly picked it up, reading the call screen. Shin. He had gotten bored of surfing the net and welcomed this call from his best friend. Since Shin had started dating Nao, they hadn’t had as much contact as normal, hence the boredom.

“Hey Yuu! Get dressed and ready. Nao and I are coming to pick you up in 30 minutes. Wear something nice.” Aoi paused a moment. “Pick me up… did I forget about something?” A small laugh over the phone. “No. A surprise. To relieve you from your perpetual boredom. Be ready. Bye.” “Shin! Wait!” Too late. Shin had already disconnected. Aoi stared at the phone for a few minutes in disbelief. What was going on? He called back. No answer. He hung up before the call went to voicemail. Okay….. he would get dressed, now his curiosity was peaked and he was bored.

Shin put the phone down and turned to his lover, smiling. “This might just work you know.” He leaned in closer to the beautiful bassist and kissed him softly on the lips. “Yuu trusts me.” He nodded to himself. “He has been too lonely lately and because of you my sweet, I have been also neglecting him.” He gathered Nao into his arms, caressing the other man’s back lovingly. Nuzzling the bassist’s neck, he spoke softly. “It was a good idea that you had. Both Yuu and Ruiza are lonely and I think they are just right for each other. I know how Yuu has been attracted to Kouyou, even though he belongs to Akira. Ruiza and Uruha have similar qualities, enough to let me know Yuu could definitely be attracted to Ruiza too. In fact, when he comes over and watches PV’s with me, it is not Asagi he is staring at. I think he is attracted to Ruiza, even if he would never admit this to me.” He laughed quietly and pulled away while Nao went to collect their coats.

Nao smiled at the guitarist as he brought back their coats. He handed Shin his coat as he put his own on. The fact that he was Ruiza’s best friend and Shin was Aoi’s best friend might just make this plan of their’s work out. “I know that Ruiza is lonely too. He hasn’t had a real date in over a year. He comes back from a live and stays in his room practicing all night. I think you’re right. They will get along really well. Aoi is Ruiza’s type as well. I’m surprised we didn’t think to try and get them together before this.”

Shin put out his cigarette and stood up to put his coat on. Winter was here now and it was cold outside. He wound a scarf around his neck and grabbed his wallet, keys and cigarettes, stuffing them into his pocket. They were ready. He took Nao’s arm and steered him out the door. He marveled at how beautiful the bassist looked tonight, as he always did. So soft and sweet and funny too. A perfect compliment for his own quiet, calm , stoic behavior.

He squeezed Nao’s arm tightly as he unlocked the car, letting his lover in. Now that he had the perfect love, he wanted his best friend to be happy too. He felt so bad for his friend. Unless Shin invited him out, Aoi would just mope around the apartment, alone. But now that Shin had his boyfriend, that seemed to happen so rarely anymore. Aoi was always the odd man out. Kai had Ruki and Uruha had Reita. So much for Aoi’s useless attraction to the blond guitarist. He and Aoi knew it was only an attraction, a feeling. Aoi would never do anything to threaten his friends' happiness and relationship anyway. He was way to polite and shy for that, deep down.

Shin had been wondering what he could do for his friend when Nao had complained that Ruiza was missing him and in the same position as Aoi, so they had concocted this brilliant plan to bring the two good looking and lonely men together. They knew that it had to appear to be a chance meeting though. Neither man would enjoy knowing that he had been set up on a blind date! Shin wanted this to be his gift to Aoi for Christmas. A chance at a good, new relationship.

They drove in silence, each man thinking about how tonight could unfold, hoping that it wouldn’t be a disaster. Nao reached over and squeezed Shin’s knee. He wanted happiness for his best friend too. They pulled up in front of Aoi’s apartment building. Thirty minutes exactly. The precision gave Shin some small satisfaction. There was Aoi, waiting in the cold, outside the building. Ahhh…. The bait worked. Shin knew that being vague on the phone would be a better and more sure way to get compliance from his friend, and with less questions too.

Aoi threw his cigarette out onto the street and waited impatiently for the car to pull into the empty spot in front of him. He opened the door and started climbing into the back seat almost before the car had stopped completely. Shin turned around and surveyed his friend. Ok. Aoi looked nice. No. He actually looked great. He laughed softly. Good he had said something or Aoi might have turned up in some old pair of jeans and tee shirt. He was wearing a black leather coat, a dark shirt and black jeans and boots. Perfect! Aoi’s long, soft hair hung straight and shiny against his coat. Shin turned back around and started the car, pulling smoothly out into traffic.

Aoi impatiently ignored Nao’s greeting. He was burning to know what this was all about! “Where are we going? Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Nao started to answer, but Shin held up his hand for silence as he drove. He didn’t want Nao to blurt out the wrong thing. This had to be handled delicately. He didn’t want to scare Aoi off. “Nao got 3 VIP passes to D’s tour final. They are back in Tokyo now, at Club Chitta. I thought it would be nice if we all went.” He paused. “We can go out for some dinner after the live. It’s close to Christmas and I decided we hadn’t done anything together in quite awhile. Nao hasn’t spent time with Ruiza in a long while either.”

Aoi mulled this over in silence. It seemed reasonable enough. Now that Shin was dating Nao, they were bound to want to do things with Nao’s best friend too. He grunted his thanks and settled into the back seat, satisfied with the explanation. As Shin and Nao made small talk in the front seat, Aoi thought about D’s lead guitarist. Funny that they had actually never met before. Ruiza was a very beautiful man and also very talented. Aoi was beginning to feel nervous, but excited at the same time. Shin was always telling him how funny Ruiza was also. Aoi had secretly hoped to meet the blond man for some time now. But this was so…unexpected! Even if he was a bit nervous, there was no way to get out of it now! Not that he really wanted to. VIP passes meant they would get good first row seating. He would have the entire concert to stare at the beautiful man. Excitement started to replace the nervousness.

Aoi realized Shin was parking the car. Lucky it wasn’t so far to the club. He got out of the car and saw the small vapor clouds his breath made in the cold, crisp air. It had been threatening snow for some time now, but so far, nothing. The three men walked to the club briskly, trying to stay warm. They got to the door and Nao handed over the passes. They were ushered in quickly. Staff had been waiting for them and taking their coats, showed them to their seats. Just in time. The show was ready to begin.

Aoi could hear the crowd of fans murmuring behind them as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. It felt sort of nice to be able to relax and enjoy a live without having to actually perform himself. Nice but strange also. He was seated next to Shin, while Nao was on the other side. He noticed Shin holding Nao’s hand discreetly in the dark. How nice it would be to have someone like that. Someone to do things with, to hold, to make love to. A sudden quiet filled the club, followed be a sparkle of lights and sounds. The show had begun with a rush. The members were already on stage.

Aoi looked up into the creamiest pair of thighs he had ever seen. There was Ruiza right in front of him, eyes closed, playing intently. Somehow he had been placed directly in front of the lead guitarist! He stared, mesmerized as the beautiful blond played, one foot propped up, exposing his luscious leg. One song led into another. They were standing now and closer to the stage. He watched as Ruiza shook his head and tossed his beautiful long hair back, lost in the world of music.

Aoi felt a nudge in his ribs. Shin was looking at him. “Close your mouth Yuu.” “What?” Aoi said horrified. Shin had caught him staring at the guitarist all this time. “I’m just watching how he shows off so much!” He replied indignantly. He looked away from Shin, self conscience now of his attraction to the blond guitarist. He was almost afraid to look at the stage now, but a beautiful guitar riff drew his eyes back. It was like he was a moth and Ruiza was the shining light. He just couldn’t keep his eyes off the younger man.

Ruiza had his eyes closed, head tilted back, fingers skipping lightly and easily over the strings. The beautiful sounds just pouring out of his fingertips. Aoi stared, captivated by the beauty of the sound, the beauty and grace of the man from whom it came. He looked up to see Ruiza staring back at him. For a heartbeat their eyes met. A small smile played at the D guitarist’s lips for a moment. Then he quickly ran up to Asagi and put his head on the vocalist’s shoulder as he played.

Aoi felt a pang of jealousy. Then he laughed at himself. Of course a man as beautiful as Ruiza already had a lover! How silly of him to start to dream of himself as that lover. To see himself wrapping his arms around all that delicate beauty, to see himself leaning in for a kiss…a small brush of hot, soft lips… a fragile probing of tongues……

He came out of his reverie, his fantasy as the lights came up and the music ended. The show was over so soon. Too soon. Now he had to come back to reality and the sharp stab of his loneliness. Shin poked him again. “Are you ready to go Yuu?” He was being herded by his friend towards the side. “We’re going home already?” “No idiot. We’re going backstage. Are you ready to meet the band members?” Aoi felt a hot rush. He was going to meet the beautiful blond man! He remembered the small smile Ruiza had given him from the stage. What would he be like in person?

End Chapter 1

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [10/?] [Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T06:18:55Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 10/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, masterbation, some language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x Kai, Ruki x Kyo
Synopsis: Aoi realizes that he is in love with Uruha and breaks off his sexual relationship with Hiroki. Uruha and Kai have gone to Osaka and all the band members are together. Reita and Ruki learn about events in Tokyo and try to figure out a way to get Aoi to come to Osaka. Aoi and Hiroki head out of Tokyo, going north.
Comments: This is for anychan. It is also for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me! Each chapter I write, I think how nice you all have been to me, to read it.^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted November 4, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 10

Aoi climbed off Hiroki's lap and dropped to his knees in front of the man. He took Hiroki’s already hard cock and licked it lightly, sending shivers of delight up and down the older man’s body. He licked and sucked the hardened erection for a minute then slid it out of his mouth. “Does this count as one date, or two now?” “Wise ass..” Hiroki said laughing. Aoi bent down and continued sucking Hiroki’s erection. He would take that smirk off Hiroki’s face. He closed his eyes. A vision of Uruha, sweet, beautiful Uruha floated into his mind, clouding his thoughts. He stopped what he was doing and got up, walking away from Hiroki. He heard Hiroki gasp behind him, the pleasure Aoi had been giving him suddenly and abruptly ended. Aoi had his back turned towards the older man; he didn’t want Hiroki to see the sudden confusion on his face or the moistness in his eyes. There was no doubt about it. He missed the young guitarist. He felt conflicted, guilty for having sex with Hiroki, for starting to feel close to him. He stood there for a moment, gathering his thoughts, unsure of how to explain himself to the older man.

There was no need. Hiroki looked at Aoi and knew that something was bothering him. After all that Aoi had just told him, he understood that there was a conflict in the younger man’s heart. “Yuu… Yuu…come here. Look at me. Please.” Aoi turned around and saw Hiroki looking at him with tenderness. “Don’t worry about me. Please. Come here Yuu and just sit next to me.” Hiroki felt a tiny piece of his heart melt looking at the sad face of the guitarist. He was so lucky to have had him here, in his house, making love to him, sleeping all night with his arms wrapped around the younger man. Another piece of his heart felt frozen, cold. He knew that Yuu wasn’t his, but he had wanted that chance. His heart was heavy and sad, but he rose above it. Aoi needed a friend. Not a whiney want-to-be lover. He patted the place on the couch next to him and Aoi walked back over and sat down next to Hiroki.

If Aoi wanted to love him, or make love to him then he would. You can’t make someone love and desire you, he reasoned to himself. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Hiroki put his arm around the young man. “I’m your friend Yuu. We can just talk. We don’t need to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Okay?” Aoi leaned back into the strong arm. “I want you. I feel an attraction to you, both physically and in my heart, but…” he broke off, unsure of how to continue. He didn’t want to hurt the older man and what he said was true! But Uruha was still in his heart right now and he couldn’t make love to Hiroki. Not now anyway. Uruha! How he remembered seeing the younger man as he was leaving, the small tears he had shed at their parting. The golden shaft of sunlight all around him, lighting up his face, his hair. The closeness they had shared in bed, alone together. The tenderness. The feeling that they were one being. He wanted Uruha. He wanted him now! He missed the beautiful younger man. Missed him badly.

He turned and looked in Hiroki’s eyes. At any other time this man would have made the best of lovers. He really was amazing. And he was gentle and handsome too. “I guess things are complicated after all.” He said softly, almost inaudibly. “Do you still want me here? Do you still want me to come tomorrow? I will leave and go to Osaka if that is better for you.” Hiroki drew in a sharp breath. NO! He didn’t want Aoi to leave him! Even if they weren’t lovers, just having the younger man there meant so much to him. He had fallen in love with Aoi. He might not be able to have him, but still he wanted him close. “No Yuu. Please stay with me? I won’t ask you for anything, just your friendship and your company. It’s enough for me. Maybe I’m too old and I’m not what you want, but I can still be your friend.”

Aoi smiled gently at Hiroki and kissed him softly on the lips. He shook his head. “It’s not your age or anything about you. I just have a heart that is too crowded right now. I thought…” he touched Hiroki’s face softly. “I thought I could keep my body and my heart separate, but I can’t. Can you forgive me? Believe me. I want you. I really do.” He looked down and saw that he had a partial erection. It would be so easy to give in and make love to Hiroki again. They had had incredible sex. But he had to curb his desires. He had made too many mistakes already, since the earthquake. He didn’t want to get his heart embroiled yet again. “I wanted to keep it light, but I am just not made that way. I don’t want casual sex. Not right now at least.” Hiroki put his finger up to Aoi’s lips, his heart breaking, but his lips smiling.

He held Aoi tenderly, like a child, and started telling him stories about his life. Nothing special, just small funny stories. To shush Aoi’s heart and calm him. Aoi closed his eyes and listened. He felt a soothing peace enter his heart. He was lucky to have a friend like Hiroki.

~*~*~

Ruki lit a cigarette and turned to Uruha. “What do you mean he stayed in Tokyo with that….man? That stranger? Why isn’t he here with us?” He was pissed at Aoi. Everyone else was here. In fact most of the PSC bands were here as well. Safe. Reita was recovering and was in good spirits now that Kai had been brought back to him. His wounds had been tended and bandaged and he was clinging to Reita’s side, almost afraid to leave the bassist. Uruha had told Ruki and Reita everything that had happened in Tokyo privately while Kai was being treated. Everything. There was no need to further embarrass the young drummer. Uruha wanted to help him, not hurt him.

Reita had taken it well. Surprisingly well. The sweet, injured bassist had cried quietly, but had then wiped his tears away. “I guess I wasn’t showing him enough attention if he needed to get it from other people.” Uruha looked down at his fingers nervously as Reita said that. After all he was one of the people that had fucked Kai. He wanted all the shit to be cleared out. All the misunderstanding, the hurt. But still he was scared to admit his part in it all to Reita. They had been friends a long time and he didn’t want to lose that friendship. Not ever! “I don’t blame you Kouyou, or Yuu either. I don’t blame Yutaka either. I blame myself. Sometimes maybe I am just too macho and don’t show him enough tenderness.” Reita had sighed and looked sad. “I love him so much! I don’t want to lose him. Do you understand? But I won’t let him do those things anymore. I’ll give him everything he needs. Because he loves ME! He will stay with me and everything will be okay.” So far Reita seemed to be right. He had spoken privately to Kai. They had spent the day alone and when they allowed others to come in, they both seemed to be close, happy. Maybe they had worked out all their issues. Uruha hoped so.

Now they were all gathered together, once again around Reita. He had been moved to a private hotel, a nurse hired to take care of him around the clock. Kai was sleeping in the same room as Reita. Just down the hall Ruki and Kyo had their own room, and Uruha had his room alone. Kyo rubbed Ruki’s back to calm him down. He showed no inclination to leave Ruki and join his own band. He knew they were safe. He needed to be around his lover. In his temper, Ruki tried to shrug Kyo’s arm off, but Kyo just smirked and kept rubbing. He knew Ruki’s moods and how to handle him. He would make sure that later, in their room, Ruki was… relaxed. Ruki put his cigarette out and lit another. He shook his head in disgust. “Well we have to get a hold of him somehow! No phone service, no electricity, no net in Tokyo yet. What the fuck was he thinking?” Ruki smoked and fumed.

Uruha felt the distance more than anyone. He missed Aoi! He missed their closeness. He missed everything about the older man. He wished to God that he were back in Tokyo next to Aoi! He thought of Hiroki. There was no mistaking the look in that man’s eyes for Aoi. The night he had stayed up, he and Hiroki had had a long conversation. Hiroki had confessed his attraction to the dark haired guitarist. Now Uruha felt the sting of jealousy. They were alone in Tokyo. What if….. His mind was trying to show him pictures of what Hiroki and Aoi could be doing alone together, but he didn’t want to see them. They hurt. He didn’t want to think about that! He squeezed his eyes together tightly, trying to banish the evil images. He was going to wait for Aoi and trust him. He just felt so empty inside without the handsome dark haired man next to him. Loving him.

Ruki hissed and looked up. “I know! I know what we can do. We have to send someone up to talk to him.” Uruha looked up. Was it possible he could see Yuu again? Ruki noticed Uruha’s penetrating stare. “No! Not you Kouyou. I’m sorry but if he is avoiding you because of all this then that will only scare him more. It has to be someone else.” Ruki decided to ignore Uruha’s sad, crestfallen look at these words. “It has to be Shin. They are close and Yuu will listen to him.”

He turned to his lover and put his arm around Kyo. Now he was satisfied he had come up with the right plan. He was relaxed and happy once again. He held Kyo tightly. They were the lucky ones. They had avoided the earthquake by being in Kyoto and they had each other. Their love was safe, strong. What a bitch love was, Ruki thought to himself. He felt sorry for Kouyou, for Yuu. He felt impatient with Yutaka for all the stupidity and proud of Akira for how he had dealt with it all. He loved them all though, no matter what. But he didn’t want to lose the band. Not for something like this. They just had to work it all out. Actually, everything seemed like it was okay, all except for Yuu. They had to talk to him, convince him that everything was good now, convince him that he was needed here. With them. He was part of them.

“We will get a hold of Shin tomorrow and talk to him about all of this. He loves Aoi like a brother. He will want to help us.” It was late. Ruki could see that Reita was getting tired. He was tired. He wanted his peaceful quiet room. Just him and Tooru together. He wanted to make love to Tooru, to convince himself that love was good. He had heard enough love sadness for one day. Ruki and Kyo said good night to everyone and left. Uruha hung around for a minute. He was glad to see so much happiness again between Kai and Reita. He said good night and went to excuse himself. Kai stopped him at the door. “Can I come to your room with you? I need to say something to you Kouyou.”

Uruha hesitated, looking from Kai to Reita and back again. He still wasn’t sure he trusted Kai. Being alone with Kai. He trusted himself, but he didn’t know what Kai would do. “umm…” he hesitated. Kai smiled. “Please Kouyou. It’s only something I want to say.” Uruha nodded his head and led the way down the hall to his room. He paused to get his keycard out. The next room over belonged to Ruki and Kyo. Both men paused for a moment. They could hear the small noises that love makes. Uruha grinned. It was actually a nice thing to hear, even if he was in the next room, and alone. He opened the door and walked in, throwing the light switch, Kai following, closing the door behind himself. He turned to the young drummer. Kai looked at Kouyou and put his arms around him quickly. He dropped his arms and stood back.

“Thank you Kouyou. I just wanted to thank you for bringing me here, for taking care of me back at Hiroki’s house. For understanding and not hating me.” Kai took a deep breath and continued. “It was horrible what I did. I am glad you told everyone. I was so scared that Akira would leave me once he knew. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I swear I will fix it. I love Akira more than anything in the whole world and I never want to lose him. I never meant to hurt you or Akira. I never meant to hurt Yuu either. I hope he can forgive me. I’m glad you love him. I hope that the two of you stay together forever. I think he really loves you Kouyou.”

Kai bowed and left quickly, without waiting for Uruha to answer. Maybe that was best because Uruha was speechless anyway. It was good what Kai had said and maybe there was hope though. For the band. For himself. He walked over to the bed and took his clothes off. He could hear the bed thumping onto the wall the next room over. That would be Ruki and Kyo. Uruha smiled, but noticed that he was becoming aroused by the sounds next door. He was undressed and his cock was rock hard. He shut off the light and turned the covers down, angling into the soft sheets. He had showered that morning so he still felt nice and fresh…

He snuggled into the covers and stared into the darkness.Oh Yuu! His brain screamed. Where are you right now? What are you doing? He wrapped his long warm fingers around his hard cock and slowly started stoking the shaft, up and down. He could still hear the lovemaking from next door, hear Ruki crying out with pleasure, hear the soft ‘thunk’ as the bed slammed into the wall from the force of their lovemaking. He imagined that Aoi was next to him again, touching him lightly, kissing him, pressing into him…. He stroked faster and faster. He wanted to be inside Aoi's body. He wanted to touch the dark haired man and show him all his tenderness, love, give him pleasure. Faster and faster he stroked, a low moan escaping his full, moist lips. “ahh…” He imagined himself thrusting into Aoi, deeply, harder, faster. His pleasure mounted as he stroked himself and thought about their moments together. Full of pleasure. Long satisfied moments. His cock was full, hot, hard. He wanted to explode inside his lover. He wanted to wrap his arms around Aoi and hold him close. Kiss him passionately, tenderly….. His cock erupted with incredible force. Under the sheets, alone in the dark, Uruha came, imagining himself deeply buried inside of Aoi. He lay still, panting, sweating. He was alone. There was no Aoi next to him. Nobody to hold. The slick stickiness of his cum coated his belly, his fingers, his legs. He wanted to cry from loneliness. He sighed and let his muscles relax. He closed his eyes. Sleep, kind oblivion took him for the night.

~*~*~
Aoi woke up hearing the light tapping on his door. He had slept alone, upstairs, thinking of Uruha all night. Hiroki poked his head in. “Yuu? We have to get ready to go. Are you awake?” Aoi rolled over and got up. He walked over to the door and let Hiroki in. “Give me a few moments to dress and I’ll be right down. Umm..did you sleep alright?” Hiroki smiled. “I slept fine Yuu.. As long as you’re alright, so am I.” Aoi smiled and closed the door as Hiroki turned and left. He shook his head and started to get dressed in some clothes he had borrowed from the older man. He needed to look good and had nothing of his own to wear anymore. He realized how incredibly lucky he was to have a friend as good as Hiroki. The man had understood everything about him and accepted things for what they were. He realized that he missed Shin too. Shin had a level head and had always listened patiently to Aoi ramble on about anything, quietly offering advice only if it seemed to be needed.

Aoi was dressed and down the stairs. A quick trip to the bathroom to fix his hair and shave and he was ready. He walked into the kitchen and lit a cigarette as Hiroki handed him a cup of coffee. He had his handy and his laptop with him, his wallet also and his credit cards. He could buy whatever he needed. He drank his coffee quietly. He was not a morning person and needed a moment. Hiroki was watching him patiently, waiting. He had explained to Aoi that since the disaster, hotel rooms were crowded where they were going, especially since it had become a temporary government center. They would have to share a room. It was okay with Aoi. He trusted himself and Hiroki now. He drained his cup and set it down. They walked out of the house and into got into Hiroki’s car.

End of chapter 10

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [9/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T06:08:51Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 9/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: Aoi spends time getting to know Hiroki. His heart has a mind of it's own... sorry it's not a very good description....
Comments: This is for anychan. It is also for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me! Each chapter I write, I think how nice you all have been to me, to read it.^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted October 14, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 9

Aoi was weightless. He could feel warm liquid surrounding his body. He licked his lips. Salty. He was lying on his back in the sea, bobbing slightly up and down as the small waves jostled him around. He turned over and plunged under the surface, his strong legs kicking out, propelling him smoothly along as his arms cut through the water. He could see a silver flash in the deep aqua colored water as hundred’s of tiny fish swam past him. He felt free. This was heaven.

He felt something soft against his face. The blue of the ocean slowly disappeared; replaced by a soft pink glow he could see from under his closed eyelids. He struggled to wake up. Still he could feel that gentle softness against his face, his hair. He opened his eyes. Hiroki was lying next to him, the dawning sun behind him, backlighting him, forming a halo, an aura of pink light around his head. He was softly stoking Aoi’s face, his hair, a gentle smile on his lips. They looked silently into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“Hey there”. Aoi smiled back. “ ‘Morning Hiroki.” Hiroki leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I hope you’re still okay with what happened last evening. I hope you weren’t disappointed in me. I hope you slept well too.” Aoi reached over and brushed a small dark strand of hair off of Hiroki’s face. Oh! Nobody had worried about his feelings this way before. This sweet concern went straight to his heart, making him feel soft and tender inside. Aoi smiled and putting both of his hands around Hiroki’s face, pulled him close and kissed him tenderly. He lingered, enjoying the feel of his full lips against Hiroki’s thinner, but warm ones. He felt Hiroki part his lips, a brush of softness as a soft, moist tongue flicked over his lips, seeking entrance. Aoi opened his mouth, letting the tongue inside. Their tongues met gently, almost cautiously, probing, touching.

Aoi sucked Hiroki’s tongue gently inside his mouth. Even in the morning, Hiroki’s mouth tasted sweet. He slowly let the suction ease up, letting go of Hiroki’s tongue as the other man drew in and suckled his tongue. He thrust his tongue deeper inside Hiroki’s mouth, feeling a surge of desire spreading through his body. He wrapped his arms around the older man, drawing him in even closer, stroking his fingers gently over the smooth skin on Hiroki’s back. He could feel his cock swell and grow, trapped against Hiroki’s hard body as Hiroki held him tightly back.

Slowly, delicately, Hiroki pulled away, letting go of Aoi’s tongue. Smiling, he straightened up so there was a bit of room in between their faces. “So I guess that I did not disappoint you last evening.” “Not one single bit Hiroki. Umm… as you can feel, it’s quite the opposite…” “Let’s take it easy, okay?” Hiroki said with a laugh. Aoi looked at him. “umm… I can tell you’re excited also Hiroki.” His eyes roamed down to look at Hiroki’s large erection. Hiroki’s eyes followed. He laughed. “Yeah…you seem to do that to me Yuu. Believe me, I want you again and badly, but I want to feed you first. I want your full attention when I make love to you again.” He stopped as a loud growling noise was heard from Aoi’s stomach. They both laughed. “I see. Maybe that’s not such a bad idea after all.” Aoi said with a small smirk. Hiroki stroked Aoi’s face gently. “Since I am the boss, I have decided not to go into work until tomorrow. So you see…we have all the time we want….for whatever we want to do.” He kissed Aoi again, tenderly then rolled over and sat up. He pulled Aoi up and both men stood up together.

Not stopping for robes, they walked naked into the kitchen together. Aoi bent down to get the small pot for coffee and heard a sharp intake of breath behind him. “You bend over like that again and I’m going to lose all my self control!” He felt Hiroki bend down behind him and rub his ass, slipping a long finger between the crack of his cheeks, stroking the tight hole. Now it was Aoi’s turn to draw in a sharp breath. He stood up and leaned back against Hiroki, against the finger. He leaned his head back on Hiroki’s shoulder as the other man bent and kissed him softly on the lips, still probing gently with his finger, the tip just inside the tight entrance. He felt molten inside. He wanted Hiroki’s whole finger inside. Hell, he wanted Hiroki’s big cock inside him again, thrusting hard, making love to him, filling him. Hiroki reached around in front of Aoi and touched his hard on. Aoi sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

Laughing Hiroki stepped back, withdrawing his finger and his hand. He slapped Aoi playfully on the ass. “Make the coffee and I’ll warm up the leftover rice.” Aoi turned around and looked at him, hands on hips. “I have to make the coffee in this…state?” he looked down at his stiff cock. Playfully, mockingly angry. They both smiled. Aoi filled the pot with water and lit the stove. When it was boiling he would throw the coffee grounds in. He grabbed a kitchen towel and threw it over his erection. It hung there like it was on a peg on the wall. Hiroki looked over and doubled over laughing. “I should use it for something it seems.” Aoi picked the towel off his softening erection and slapped it against Hiroki’s ass. Smiling he walked over to the table, sat down and lit a cigarette.

He watched as Hiroki placed the rice on a low flame and put some green tea in a small teapot. They would pour this over the hot rice. He loved watching Hiroki move. He smiled. They were having fun together doing even the smallest things. He hadn’t felt this good for …he thought about it, maybe a year? More? Since before his infatuation with Kai. He realized that the infatuation had cut him off from doing small pleasurable things with other people, from really enjoying himself. His feelings for Kai had engulfed him in an unhealthy way. Wanting someone he could never really have. Better to have no one. Better still to have someone that loved him back. Really loved him. He realized that the dry ache that had been in his chest everyday for a year now had grown smaller. He took a drag from his cigarette. It had been a good decision to stay here. To stay away from the other band members.

Hiroki felt the sudden silence and saw Aoi caught up in his thoughts. “Yuu? The water is boiling. Do you want me to do the coffee?” Aoi shook his head, put his cigarette down and stood up. He measured out the right amount of grounds and poured them into the boiling water. Turning the flame down, he put the lid back on the pot and stepped back to the table, sitting down to wait for the coffee as he finished his cigarette. Now was a good time to talk to Hiroki about working. “umm.. Hiroki? Do you remember that yesterday I said I wanted to discuss something with you?” The older man nodded and Aoi continued, “I know that I don’t have any special skills, but I want to work with you. I want to do something to help. I’m sure that there’s something I can do.” Hiroki stirred the rice and put the lid back on the pot. He came over to the table and sat down next to Aoi.

He looked at Aoi with a professional interest. He became serious. “There are a lot of things you can do Yuu. Every area around here has been damaged. Some places are unrecognizable. There are still many people missing. We don’t even know how many. The US and a few European countries have flown teams of dogs in to sniff people out. Like we sent our teams into San Francisco in 1989. We have our own teams of course too, but every little bit of assistance helps. Tokyo is still without running water, electricity, telephone service. We’re just lucky that it’s summer, so people are not freezing to death from exposure and lack of heat. We have been evacuating groups of people out of the area to temporary emergency shelters in the North or South. Local food and clean water distribution centers have been set up for those who are able to stay, whose homes haven’t been damaged enough to leave. We need help with those. We also need help with cleaning and moving the debris so things can start to be repaired. It’s all hard, thankless work, but if you want to do it I will arrange for it.” He looked at Aoi with new respect.

Hiroki tapped his fingers on the table, deciding something in his mind. “I have to go North tomorrow. I need to make a report to the Prime Minister. The Parliament, the Prime Minister and the Emperor and his family have all been temporarily moved up North. Repairs have to be done to the buildings here and they will all be safer in the North for now. Do you want to go with me? It would be nice to have you as company and I will probably need to spend the night. I would rather have you with me then here on your own.” Aoi looked up in surprise. “You want me to go with you? Around all of those important people?” Hiroki smiled. “I feel protective towards you, and besides, you are also an important person in what you do.” Hiroki reached over and took Aoi’s hand, holding it gently. “It will be nice for both of us to be somewhere there are showers and clean beds and better food.” He looked ruefully at the stove and the pot of rice which was now steaming. “What do you say? You can start work when we get back.”

Aoi grinned and nodded his head. A hot bath! Steaming hot food! Funny what small ordinary things could excite him now. He would take his laptop too and recharge it. Also his phone. He could call the other band members and see how they were. Suddenly he felt a pang in his chest. A small lump formed in his throat. He thought of Uruha. They could talk. He felt divided again. He loved being with Hiroki, doing things with him, making love to him. The man seriously excited him. But he realized he missed Uruha too. Not now! He told himself. Think about it later. He could feel Hiroki caress his hand. He felt excitement stirring from this small contact. Damn! He was starting to get hard again. He wanted Hiroki badly! This morning’s excitement had been prematurely cut short. Was he being unfaithful to Uruha though? No, he decided. I didn’t make any promises. I am free.
“I want to come with you Hiroki.” He leaned over and kissed the other man. He shoved his feelings and concern for Uruha into the back of his mind. I still need time. I’m still not ready.

Aoi got up and turning off the stove, poured two steaming mugs of coffee. He poured boiling water onto the green tea and brought all of it to the table while Hiroki dished out the rice and got the rice seasoning. They ate and drank, Hiroki still holding Aoi’s hand, stroking it lightly. Aoi laughed. “I don’t think I have ever sat down eating breakfast like this completely nude!” “Are you enjoying it?” Hiroki quipped smartly back, grinning. Aoi looked down at his lap. He could see his cock harden. He looked over at Hiroki. His cock was hard, standing stiffly at an angle. “umm… yeah, but I think you are too.” Hiroki laughed and tousled Aoi’s hair. “Wise ass.” “Well you thought my ass was pretty hot last night…” Aoi leaned over and taking hold of Hiroki’s hard cock started stroking it up and down. Hiroki closed his eyes and moaned in pleasure. “No fair.” Aoi bent over and kissed the older man but didn’t stop stroking him. He could taste the fragrant tea on Hiroki’s breath as he slipped his tongue inside the other man’s mouth. He put his other hand on the back of Hiroki’s neck, bending him closer.

“Everything’s fair when I want you this bad.” Aoi whispered to the older man. “Well I never kissed a man with a lip ring before.” Hiroki said huskily. Aoi could tell he was powerfully aroused. “But you have eaten naked breakfast before then?” Hiroki laughed. “I refuse to answer that one.” Aoi felt a momentary pang of jealousy. He knew Hiroki was no virgin, he was way too good looking, sophisticated and experienced not to have had partners, probably lots of them. He decided to ignore the small tug of jealousy. They had no bond beyond a mutual liking for one another. Still, he couldn’t help thinking, what a lucky man that person must have been to have had Hiroki’s love, even for a little while. Keep it loose, he told himself.

He smiled and leaned over, kissing Hiroki once more, continuing to stroke his erection. Hiroki grabbed Aoi’s head and held it for a long, demanding, lingering kiss. Aoi drew back breaking the kiss and stopped stroking Hiroki’s erection. He picked up his mug of coffee and drank a little more with a mischievous smile on his face. Hiroki opened his eye and reached out for Aoi. “Hey! Why did you stop? That felt so good!” Aoi put his mug down. “Let’s take it easy…okay?” He grinned. Hiroki opened his eyes in surprise and then narrowed them. “You’re something else you know that?” Hiroki got up and lifted Aoi out of the chair. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and backed him up against the table. “Hell with that” he whispered into Aoi’s ear as he nuzzled and licked his neck. Aoi laughed softly then kissed Hiroki’s cheek, his neck, his warm tongue trailing lightly down the older man’s throat, tracing a pattern to his collar bone. Hiroki hissed with pleasure.

With one arm, Hiroki swept everything off the table and gently laid Aoi down on top of the surface. He bent down, kissing the younger man starting at the lips and slowly, leisurely working his way down. Lips, tongue, working, biting, nuzzling, licking. Aoi could feel the warm tongue on his neck, his chest, his stomach. He smiled and closed his eyes. He could feel his erection twitching with anticipation. Hiroki got to Aoi’s bellybutton and stuck his tongue in it, twirling it around a little bit. “What’s this?” he asked Aoi, pointing to a small perforation at the navel. “I used to have a piercing there. The skin got too thin though so I keep it out now. Is that a first for you also?” Hiroki grinned, “Yes it is.” Hiroki stood up and caressed Aoi’s stiff cock, giving it a tiny flick with his tongue. “Stay right here. I’ll be right back.” He left the room. Aoi put his hands behind his head, a small smile on his lips. He was ready to enjoy himself. Last night he knew that Hiroki had been exhausted. He had been awake and working for more than 3 days straight. And still he had been an amazing lover! Now he was rested and fed… umm this was going to be good.

Hiroki came back into the room holding the tube of lube. He stopped as he entered the room, just staring at Aoi. “God! You’re beautiful.” Aoi turned and looked at Hiroki. His long glossy brown hair was fanned out against the light colored wooden table. None of his lovers had ever told him that before. He was always the one saying that to them! He put his arms out. “Come here Hiroki. Make love to me.” The older man had the lube unscrewed and squirted on his fingers before Aoi could finish speaking. He lifted Aoi’s legs up and apart, rubbing the lube into Aoi’s ass. He inserted a slick index finger, stroking in and out. Aoi groaned with pleasure. “Fuck me Hiroki. I’m ready for you!” Hiroki looked ready to burst. His cock was swollen and dark. He rubbed a fingerful more of the lube on his cock and gently, slowly guided it up Aoi’s ass as the younger man wrapped his legs tightly around Hiroki’s waist. Aoi and Hiroki both groaned together, the feeling of filling and being filled so intense for both of them.

Hiroki grabbed Aoi around the waist and slammed his cock in roughly, all the way. Aoi held Hiroki’s arms as the older man continued to pump into him. He arched up to meet each thrust. This was how he liked it. Hard. Rough. He could feel the sweat dripping off of his back making him slide back and forth as Hiroki ground him against the table. Sweat from Hiroki’s chest was dripping off, falling onto Aoi’s stomach as he leaned over the younger man. Through a haze, a delirium of enjoyment, Aoi watched the older man as he thrust his cock in and out. The handsome guitarist moaned as the older man fucked him.

Suddenly Hiroki stopped his rhythm. He leaned down and whispered into Aoi’s ear. “Wrap your legs tightly around me. Really tight. Your arms too.” He kissed Aoi’s lips gently as he grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up easily into the air. Aoi’s legs and arms were wrapped all the way around Hiroki. He clung to the other man, the hard cock still stuffed tightly inside his ass as the older man turned around and sat down in the chair, Aoi on top of his lap, feet now touching the floor. “I wanted to be closer to you so I could do this…” Hiroki kissed Aoi, his tongue deeply thrust into the younger man’s mouth, probing, moving…..lips locked tightly as he grabbed hold of Aoi’s ass and lifted him up, ramming him down hard again. Aoi picked up the rhythm now, his arms wrapped around the shoulders of the other man kissing back, his own tongue searching, demanding, his body, his blood on fire.

The kiss was an eternity. Aoi’s body was in heaven. He felt Hiroki wrap his fingers around his cock, sliding them up and down the swollen, tender shaft to the same tempo as their bodies. He lifted his body and slammed it down, feeling all of Hiroki inside him tightly. Over and over. Lips still locked in the frenetic kiss of fire. He knew he was about to cum. He tore his lips away. “Baby. I’m going to explode.” His voice was rough and hoarse from passion. “Cum for me Yuu. Cum for me. Cum on me…..” “Cum in me baby.” Aoi bent to kiss Hiroki. Desperate. Frantic with passion and pleasure. He couldn’t last. He was cumming…NOW! “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…………Hiroki!” Aoi exploded all over the older man. Hot cum hitting Hiroki’s chest, coating his fingers. Aoi’s body trembled and buckled, his breathing short, labored. A second later Hiroki cried out and his face twisted in deep pleasure and enjoyment. Aoi could feel the hot cum squirt up his ass as the man under him suddenly convulsed and then became rigid. He could feel the warmth up to his navel, spreading the lovely liquid fire inside his body.

He relaxed. His body suddenly soft, limp. His head slumped on Hiroki’s shoulder. His arms held loosely around the other man. Hiroki held him and kissed his neck. Aoi held Hiroki tightly and kissed his shoulder, his neck, his cheek, his lips. Soft. Warm. He could feel Hiroki running his fingers through his long hair as they kissed. Hiroki’s cock was softening, but it was still tightly trapped by the tight muscle of Aoi’s ass. They broke the kiss. “See? I knew we would enjoy our selves more if we didn’t rush it.” Hiroki whispered to his young lover, his voice still husky from the sex, the intensity of the passion. Aoi grinned. “And…umm…we have all day and night too” he said. Hiroki smiled wickedly. Aoi lifted himself off of the older man slowly and stood up. His knees felt shaky and he clutched at the other man for a minute for support. Thick, pearly sperm dripped out of his ass and down his legs, splashing onto the tile floor.

Walking over to the counter, Aoi poured a glass of lukewarm water, boiled that morning, into a glass. He drank half and handed the glass to Hiroki, who drained it immediately. He handed it back to Aoi who filled it again. Again they shared it. He grabbed the kitchen towel and wiped the cum from his legs, his ass. He bent down over Hiroki and gently wiped his cock and the cum blotches on his chest. Hiroki stood up and took Aoi by the hand. “Lets go into the living room. We’ll be more comfortable there.” Aoi filled the water glass a third time and grabbed his cigarettes and an ashtray. Hiroki took the water and still holding Aoi’s hand, led him out of the kitchen.

“I could get us robes, but I enjoy looking at you naked. Do you mind?” Aoi smiled as he put down his cigarettes and the ashtray on the low table in front of the couch. “No. Not at all. Besides, I might want to fondle you again soon.” Hiroki smiled. “I wanted you to say that.” Aoi walked over to the wall opposite the couch. A large, elegant bookcase filled to overflowing stood against the wall, taking most of the space. A similar, but smaller case stood next to it, filled with CD’s. Aoi looked at the music. “I noticed all your music the last few days here alone. You have quite an eclectic collection.” Hiroki nodded. “I have been collecting all my life. Music is very important to me.” Aoi gently pulled a velvety red CD out of the case. “You weren’t kidding about being a fan. All of our complete works are here.” He put the CD back. “I’m honored.” He walked back over to Hiroki and sat down close to him. The older man put his arm around Aoi and kissed his shoulder.
“I’ve been a fan since the start of the band. I’ve been to several of your lives. I even took dates to several of them.” He laughed softly. “How ironic. I took dates to your lives, and here you are with me right now, making love to me in my home.” He kissed Aoi softly again, this time on the lips. Aoi allowed his lips to linger, Hiroki tasted so sweet, so fine. “It’s amazing that we met as we did.” Hiroki continued. “I was always attracted to you. Out of all the band members it was your picture I looked at, your instrument I listened to. I think the entire band is talented, but there is something special about you. I could never quite put my finger on it, but now I know why. Does my saying this make you uncomfortable?”

Aoi shook his head. “I think it’s amazing I met you Hiroki! I admire you. What you do. What you cope with, the position you have made for yourself at such a young age.” Hiroki shook his head and smiled. “I’m not young Yuu. I’m 37. I’ve worked hard and my family clan is well connected. I went to the right university and studied hard too. I’m not so amazing.” “I think you are.” Aoi leaned in and kissed him tenderly. He stroked his arm softly. “And you’re also an amazing lover.” Aoi hesitated for a moment, but went on, “You’ve had many lovers?” Hiroki nodded. “A fair amount, but maybe not so many. I haven’t had anyone seriously in my life for over a year now.” Aoi nodded. “The same with me.” Hiroki looked at him. “Ahh… but that’s not the truth is it? You seemed to be involved with one or both of your band mates.” Aoi blushed thinking about how he had fucked both Kai and Uruha under this very roof, not to mention what had happened at Uruha’s apartment.

“It’s complicated.” He bent over and shook a cigarette out of the pack and lit it, exhaling and leaning back into the couch. He wanted to tell Hiroki everything, but there was some uncomfortableness. Smoking at a time like this helped. He looked down at his fingers. The black polish was peeling off, almost gone. His fingers naked, the precious rings stowed safely away in his backpack. He started talking, telling Hiroki about his infatuation with Kai for the past year, the confession of love, the sex, the betrayal, Uruha’s stunning confession of love. “I was alone for more than a year. Suddenly I was thrust into this situation. I went from having nothing to having too many choices. All along, I have chosen lovers from other places, unwilling to risk hurting the band with petty love affairs.” He finished his cigarette and put it out. He looked up at Hiroki and took his hand.

“I wanted to get away from all the confusion. That’s why I chose to stay here with you and work, rather than be with them right now. I care about them, but I just can’t be there. I want to figure out what I need, what I want. Do you understand? Do I sound selfish for wanting this?” He wanted Hiroki to understand. He looked at the other man, almost pleadingly. “I don’t think you’re selfish. You can’t help your band mates or make an honest decision until you are well and whole inside. Until you can say what you want with a strong conscience and not just what somebody else wants to hear.” Hiroki squeezed Aoi’s hand and raising it to his lips, kissed it. “Have I added another complication to your life?” Hiroki looked at Aoi, almost holding his breathe. He didn’t want his own dream to end. Aoi gently kissed the older man on the lips. “No. That’s the one thing I have done that I’m not ashamed of. Actually, being with you has UNcomplicated things for me. I feel…good, strong, healed when I’m around you. And I chose to be with you. On my own. It was my decision. We’re not together out of any obligation, but out of……” Aoi couldn’t say the word. He found another “Out of mutual respect.” Hiroki smiled. “Fair enough.” He felt like he could breathe again. He had a chance.

“You know everything in my heart now. What do you want to do about it?” Aoi asked the older man. He climbed over Hiroki, facing him, kneeling over him, arms around him. He pressed his forehead up against the other man’s forehead, lips almost touching. Hiroki wrapped his arms around Aoi and laughed. “I want to fuck your brains out. All day. All night. Then I want to do it some more.” Aoi threw his head back and laughed, a rich throaty sound. He rubbed his face against the other man’s cheek. “I have a better idea. I want to fuck your brains out. Umm… if you do it to me all the time, I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” Hiroki smiled then became serious. “I want to feel you inside of me Yuu. Badly. And then there’s the little matter of the swallowed cum that I have to make up to you.” This made Aoi laugh. He felt Hiroki growing harder against him, despite all the laughter. Aoi reached down and stroked it lightly. “I was actually jealous in the kitchen today… you ate naked breakfast with someone already…” “Really? You were jealous of me?” Aoi nodded, still stroking Hiroki. He could feel it. He was getting attached to Hiroki. The man was simply amazing and didn’t even realize it. But there was no denying it. His heart felt warm. His soul felt alive. He was happy.

A small pang in his heart surfaced and he thought of Uruha. Uruha, waiting for him. Loving him. He enjoyed Hiroki’s company and friendship. There was a good chemistry between them. He felt good, relaxed around the older man, and wanted more of him, but the ache and longing for beautiful blond was still in his heart. Well… he would call and talk to Uruha when they left the city tomorrow. He still needed his time to sort everything out. Sort out his feelings for Kai too. Get over him, over the feeling of being unimportant, used, thrown out. Being with Hiroki helped with that. He wanted to enjoy time with Hiroki without getting his heart involved though. Was that possible? He looked at the older man and realized there was something there…if he wanted it. Keep it light, a little voice whispered in his head. Keep it uncomplicated and fun. Could he do that?

End of Chapter 9

I apologize to everyone if the ending to this chapter is a bit lame, but there is so much more coming...and to say anymore at this point would make the chapter impossibly long...

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [8/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T05:44:16Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 8/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x Hiroki, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: Aoi is now alone at Hiroki's house. Kai and Uruha have gone back to Osaka with the PSC staff. What will happen with Aoi and Hiroki alone together?
Comments: This is for anychan. It is also for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me!^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki!But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted October 14, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 8

Aoi sat out in the garden smoking and thinking. The light was starting to fade and he was alone. It’s what he had wanted, right? He wasn’t so sure. Had he made the right choice? A light breeze wafted in and gently picked up a few strands of his silken, long hair, blowing them into his face. He absent-mindedly smoothed them out of the way. He took another deep drag off of his cigarette, holding the pungent smoke in and then exhaling it up towards the clouds.

After Uruha and Kai had left with the people from PSC, he had gone into Hiroki’s bedroom and cleaned everything up. The futon was ruined. He had dragged it outside and replaced it with one that was fresh and clean. The blood on the tatami had been harder, and scrub as hard as he might, there was no removing the stain completely. It was much lighter now though..more of a pale rusty tan than dark reddish brown. He had next gone upstairs and tidied everything, not that there was much to be done, but he didn’t want to abuse Hiroki’s hospitality any more than he already had. Also, cleaning had helped to take his mind off of the trauma of the last few hours.

He finished his cigarette and stretching, got up and went back into the house. It was definitely darker now. He lit a few candles in the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling his guitar out of the case. Just holding the beautifully made instrument soothed him. He struck a few chords. Then a few more. His hands plucked out notes, creating a melody he hadn’t consciously been thinking about as he thought over his farewell with Uruha and Kai.

He held the blond closely and kissed him gently on the lips before stepping back and walking over to the door to answer the insistent knocking. One man stood there. Short. Middle age? No. Maybe younger. Someone he had never seen before. PSC was part of a large holding though and there were many employees. The man bowed. “Aoi-san? We have a helicopter waiting to take all of you to Osaka. Your Manager and the rest of your band members are there, as I am sure you already know.” The smaller man bowed again and Aoi stepped inside and motioned for him to come in. “Please, don’t worry about your shoes.” Aoi said. We have an injured member. He will need to be helped out. The shorter man looked surprised. “I was informed that all of you were well?” “It was a recent injury.” Uruha came over and bowed to the man. “Thank you for coming for us sir. I’ll get our things ready to go.” He bowed again and went upstairs to collect his things as well as Kai’s, glancing at Aoi before he walked upstairs. The smaller man turned to Aoi. “I will have to go get someone to help me. The helicopter is further away, in an empty lot. Your friend, can he walk?” Aoi shook his head. “I don’t think so, but I will go and check. I think he will at least need assistance.” The employee nodded. “Very well. I will get someone else to help us out.” He went back out the door.

Aoi walked into Hiroki’s bedroom. He kneeled down by Kai and lightly shook the younger man. “Hey. Yutaka.” Kai turned to face Aoi, his eyes opening slightly. His hair in lovely disarray, dark strands against the white pillow. ‘He looks so beautiful’, Aoi thought. How easy it had been to lose his heart to this man. Even now. After everything that had happened. Aoi could still feel a pang clutch at his heart. He smiled at the dark haired man. “Yutaka. Some people are here and they are going to take you and Uruha to Osaka.” He touched Kai’s bandages lightly. “They will take care of you and you will get to see Akira also.” Kai opened his eyes more, his sleepy state receding. “But Yuu, … aren’t you coming too?” Aoi shook his head. “No. I need…” He took a deep breath. “I need some time apart from everyone.” He forced a smile. “It’s okay. I am going to stay here with Hiroki for a little while.” He helped Kai to sit up. He hated touching the younger man, but at the same time, it still gave him a little shiver of enjoyment. This is what he had to fix. To cure. He had to get past this, somehow. If he stayed anywhere around Kai, his feelings of love, betrayal, sorrow would not heal. He grabbed Kai’s waist and pulled him gently to his feet. For a moment the two men were eye to eye, almost touching. Silent. Staring into each other’s eyes. Just a breath, a heartbeat, a kiss apart. Then Aoi stepped back and broke the spell.

Kai started to shuffle to the door. Aoi reached out and put his hand on the young drummer’s shoulder. “Why Yutaka? Why?” The older man stood there, tears welling up in his dark eyes. Kai turned around. Silent tears stained his cheeks. He looked up at Aoi. “I want so much sometimes. I need attention. From my friends, from everyone. I just want everyone to love me. I don't know why ... I never mean to hurt anyone. I really don’t…I just want to be happy. Sometimes it seems so hard to be happy. To feel peaceful.” he broke off, his usually deep voice higher pitched, pleading for understanding. He reached out to touch Aoi, but faltered, not sure if his touch would be rejected. He dropped his hand to his side. “I really did, do, care for you. Even if you will never believe it.” He turned and slid open the screen and walked out. Aoi made no move to follow, but stood silently, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

He looked up and saw Uruha standing in the living room, just beyond the screen. They looked at each other, then Aoi saw the little PSC employee and another taller man reach out and help Kai, guiding him out of the room, and out of sight. When they were finally alone, Uruha walked over to Aoi and put arms around the older man. He wrapped his arms all the way around Aoi and held him tightly, leaning his head down on the older man’s shoulder. “I don’t want to leave you.” The blond sighed deeply, sorrow etched into his sigh, a silent sob caught in his throat. Aoi put his hand on Uruha’s head and stroked the silky blond hair. He kissed Uruha on the forehead. “So… what happens to us now? Is there even an ‘us’?” the blond asked softly.

Aoi reached under Uruha’s chin and lifted the beautiful face up to his own. His lips brushed against the younger man’s, but softly, gently. “I have strong feelings for you Kouyou. We shared something special this morning. I think I can say I love you. But…” his voice trailed away, unsure of how to say what must be said without hurting the other man. “Kouyou, I’m not ready for a commitment to anyone right now, no matter what my heart feels. I can’t make you any promises. You and you alone know that I am not even sure right now if I want to remain in the band. I’m not in a position to make or keep a promise right now. Please understand this? I’m not trying to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I do love you.”

Uruha nodded his head slightly as hot tears filled his eyes. “You say you don’t want to hurt me, but ..not having you in my life hurts me. More than I could possibly say.” Crystalline tears spilled out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks, the precious liquid dripping onto his cotton tee shirt, leaving dark stains of sorrow. He sobbed and buried his head in the older man’s hair. Aoi felt the tears wet his hair and trickle down his neck. Tears stung his own eyes, but he blinked them back. It would be so easy to cave, to give in to what Uruha wanted. To promise to… to what? To love, cherish and keep the younger man by his side. To keep the beautiful blond for his own. His very own. To promise to be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the week after that. A year, five years, eternity. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t make a promise he didn’t know he could keep. He wouldn’t do that to Uruha. It wouldn’t be right.

He kissed the younger man softly on the top of the head. Uruha lifted his head and their lips met in a kiss. Soft and lingering, then growing more demanding, harder. Their tongues intertwining, exploring, tasting, as if for the last time. Aoi thrust his tongue deeper into the blond man’s mouth, straining to get closer, as Uruha did the same. Time stopped. This kiss, this fierce kiss was all that mattered right now. Aoi held Uruha tightly, as if he were a life preserver in the midst of a violent storm at sea. Slowly, Aoi came back to the present. He loosened his grip on the younger man and eased his tongue out, slowly. He paused to lick Uruha’s soft bottom lip, nibbling gently. He took a breath and kissed the blond softly, brushing his face against Uruha’s soft cheek.

Uruha took a deep breath and looked into Aoi’s deep, dark eyes. “Maybe you can’t promise anything, but I can. I promise to wait for you. I love you. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care how long it takes you to figure everything out, but when you do, I will be there, waiting.” He stepped away and put his big sunglasses on, covering up the puffy redness of his eyes, caused by tears. The sunlight caught him full in the face as he stepped away from Aoi. It lit up his hair, turning it to pale gold, like raw silk, his smooth face shining like the freshly washed iridescent pearls he remembered from his families’ pearl farm in Mie. He stood straight and tall, a lean figure in jeans, tee and sunglasses. An unbuttoned shirt worn casually like a jacket. It took Aoi’s breath away. He wanted to remember this image of Uruha. He wanted to etch it into his brain. Uruha stooped and picked up his guitar case. A small jaunty smile on his lips, forced, but there. He bowed slightly, turned and walked out of sight, out of Aoi’s life.

The sky beyond the windows was completely black now. Still he played. He played all the emotions in his heart. They came out of his fingers and into the guitar. It felt like an extension of his own body. The candles dimmed and flickered as the wax turned into smoke. First one extinguished and then the other. Aoi was plunged into a wall of solid darkness. Thick, suffocating darkness. He put the guitar down on the floor gently and lay back on the couch. He shut his eyes and then opened them again. He couldn’t tell the difference. It was black both ways. They are in Osaka now, he thought. Probably talking or eating or bathing. He thought of Uruha. He could still see him standing in the sun, with his sunglasses on. He could still feel the phantom pressure of those delicious and amazing lips pressed against his own, the light touch of Uruha’s tongue as it met his own. I’m doing the right thing, he told himself. He couldn’t promise Uruha anything as long as Kai was still in his mind. He couldn’t promise anything until he was completely free. Completely clear. In mind and body. He felt a wave of desire sweep over him as he remembered their love making that morning. His hands clutching Uruha’s tight, firm ass, ramming him down as his body arched up, thrusting deeply inside…….

Aoi opened his eyes. The room was filled with sunshine. He didn’t remember sleeping, but his body felt rested. He got up, stepping over his guitar. He picked it up and leaned it up against the couch. Coffee. He needed coffee. He wasn’t Kai, but he would manage in the kitchen somehow. Hiroki wouldn’t be home for another 24 hours or so at least. He fumbled with the stove and got a flame going and put the water on top to heat. Of course Hiroki would be prepared, being head of the emergency government planning committee. There was enough propane in the tank to last them quite awhile, or so he had been assured. The only thing they were lacking was electricity. He made the coffee and remembered his phone and laptop. Maybe he should check them and see if anything was up yet.

He took his steaming mug of coffee to the table and pulled out his handset. Nothing. He got up and went in search for his backpack. It was in the hallway. He took out his laptop and brought it back to the table. The screen was black and stayed that way even when he turned it on. He rolled his eyes. The battery charge had gone out by now, of course. No way to charge it either. Maybe it was better this way he thought. He had wanted quiet, time to think. Now he had lots of time. He thought about the music he had played last night. He would write. And when he was done with that, he would write some more.

He remembered the words of a western poet he had read once, translated, about how to grow as an artist. “…love your solitude and bear with sweet-sounding lamentation the suffering it causes you.” 1 He would do just that. He would take all his sadness, his sickness, his confusion and put it into his music in this bubble of silence he had been given.

The day passed quietly, the color of the sun changing from pale yellow, to bright gold, to pink and violet and fading into deep blue and then blackness again. Aoi didn’t notice the passing of the day until it was too dark to see. Life was simple now. Up with the sun and sleep with the darkness. Like the old days. Days too ancient and far away for him to even imagine. In many ways this was healing. His nights were untroubled and dreamless. He woke up again with the sun on his face. He felt good. Strong. The events of the past several days had started to fade from his mind, like a bad dream. Hiroki would be back today. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been until he thought of not being alone. He grinned to himself. He would clean himself and make something for the both of them to eat. He felt happy inside.

Whistling to himself, he got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. He heated water for coffee in a small pot and water for bathing in a larger pot. He hadn’t any clean clothes of his own, so he went into Hiroki’s room and looked in the closet. He selected a clean white undershirt and a clean button down shirt with a pale blue small pattern on it. He didn’t think Hiroki would mind, and besides, it would be better than smelling a man who hadn’t bathed or changed clothes in many days.

He drank his coffee and then bathed and changed into the fresh clothes. He put on a big pot of rice and went to clean up the living room, so it wouldn’t look like he had been camped out there for the last two days. He found some dried squid and a few other things. That would have to be enough. He wasn’t a chef. He set the table and then opened a beer, smoking and waiting quietly. He drained his beer and opened another. He lit another cigarette, letting the silence wash peacefully over him. He had changed. He had lost his restlessness, had started to accept how to take it easy, to really relax. He felt calm. He was getting up for a third beer when he heard a noise in the hallway. He opened a fresh beer and took it into the hall. Hiroki was there. He looked tired, but peaceful. Aoi walked up to him smiling and handed him the fresh beer. Hiroki’s face lit up with a big smile. “I wasn’t sure if you would still be here.” he said, his voice soft, relaxed, happy. Aoi smiled “I have dinner ready for you. It’s not much, but…” he trailed off. It felt good to talk to a friend. Someone who didn’t demand anything from him, who was happy to see him.

They walked together back into the kitchen. Aoi cracked open a beer for himself as Hiroki swallowed his in one long draught. He set it down and wiped his mouth. “Thanks. That was refreshing. Do we have more?” Aoi grinned and opened the bottom cupboard. Hiroki had quite a stock. There was plenty. All Kirin Ichiban. Aoi pulled out another beer for Hiroki and went to close the cupboard. “Wait. See that bottle in the back? Bring it out. It’s tokutei, junmai." 2

Aoi picked up the bottle and brought it out. He looked at the kanji on the bottle. Yeah. It was the good stuff and didn’t need to be heated. He handed it to Hiroki. “Want to drink it tonight? It will feel like boy’s night out. We need something nice.” Aoi nodded his head, smiled and went to fetch two small cups as Hiroki opened the bottle. Aoi felt caught up in the party feeling. He felt light and untroubled. He brought the cups back and as Hiroki poured for them, he scooped rice into large bowls for each of them. He set out the dried squid, fish and condiments he had found. He sat down and picked up his cup. The two men smiled to each other and drained their cups. They chatted about small things as they ate, drank more sake, alternating it with the beer. They laughed as they made small talk. Aoi felt fine. He felt good inside, glowing and happy. They talked about everything and nothing. Hiroki was an interesting man. He had done much in his life already and knew some very important people. Aoi cleaned the table off as Hiroki sat back, relaxing, drinking. He watched as Aoi moved around the kitchen, falling silent for a moment.

Aoi turned at the sudden pause in conversation to see Hiroki watching him through veiled eyes. It surprised him, but didn’t disturb him. He felt an attraction to the older man. Hiroki was good looking in a lean, hard sort of way. Mature, tough but sophisticated all at once. Aoi remembered the way he had looked with his shirt off when they had come to the door, days ago. He was a well built, good looking man. His face was angular but smooth, and deceptively soft looking. His eyes were narrow and dark, beautiful and classic. Like an aristocrat. His nose straight, narrow and long. His cheekbones high, his lips a clear, soft red. His dark hair, straight and long. Not as long as his own, merely brushing the collar of his shirt. Aoi thought he was a beautiful man, and he really enjoyed his company.

He sat back down at the table and lit a cigarette as Hiroki poured out the last of the sake for them both. It had been truly excellent sake, very tokutei. They raised their cups again. Hiroki’s eyes were sparkling, happy. The drained their cups. “I have been doing all of the talking. Tell me something. What did you do all this time, while I was working?” Aoi took a drag off of his cigarette and exhaled. He picked up his beer and drank a small sip. It was almost empty. Soon he would need another. “ummm…I wrote some songs.” He finished off his beer. “I think they are not so bad.” Hiroki nodded. His face lit up. “Would I be able to hear you play some time?” Aoi nodded and smiled. “It can be arranged.” He was curious what Hiroki would think of his songs. They were different from anything he had written before, more jazzy, not so much like rock.

Aoi pushed his chair back and stood up. "I have bathed already. I stole your clothes, and you have been kind enough not to say anything to me about it. My old ones were highly offensive though and I didn’t want to spoil your dinner with the stench.” He laughed. “I have more hot water ready so you can relax now and bathe if you want, and I will play for you while you bathe. Deal?” Hiroki laughed and nodded. “You can have anything of mine you want. I’m just glad you’re still here.” Hiroki finished his beer and got up. He was tall. Taller than Aoi by several centimeters.

Aoi hauled the pot of water off of the stove and carried it into the bathroom while Hiroki went to get his robe. He poured it into the still warm bathwater and felt it. Not as hot as it should be, but tolerable. He took the large pot back to the kitchen and passed Hiroki on his way into the bathroom. They brushed casually against each other, but Aoi felt a flash of warmth, a current. Hiroki smiled and went inside the bathroom, not closing the door all the way. Aoi paused to watch him slip out of his robe and pour a bucket of water on himself as he started scrubbing himself with a bag of rice bran. He was fine looking all the way down! Aoi felt ashamed to be peeking at the older man as he disrobed and washed, so he quickly hurried back to the kitchen and got his guitar. He went back to the little hallway and sat down outside the bathroom door, positioning himself so he couldn’t see in. He could hear splashing sounds of Hiroki getting into the tub, then a grunt of satisfaction.

“How is it?” Aoi called out. “It’s great! I can’t believe how good this feels. Ahhhhhhh…” Aoi smiled to himself. He was unused to doing menial things for other people, but it had felt good to do these nice things tonight for Hiroki. He felt useful. “Good” he settled back against the wall and started to play. He stopped for a moment. “Can you hear me?” “Yes! Please don’t stop. Keep playing, please.” Aoi started again. He played one song and then another. Then another. He stopped. Silence. “Hiroki? What did you think?” He heard some small sounds and then the bathroom door opened and Hiroki came out. He was still damp and slick from the bath, his hair lying dark and wet against his neck. His soft cotton navy patterned robe tied loosely, low on his hips.

Surprised, Aoi stood up. Hiroki was right in front of him. “They were beautiful Yuu. Truly they were beautiful. Like you.” Hiroki leaned in slightly. Aoi felt something like a magnetic attraction. He felt himself drawing closer to the other man. Suddenly there wasn’t any space between them. They were touching. He felt Hiroki’s hand on his jaw, pulling him closer. He closed his eyes and leaned in, all the way until he felt Hiroki’s lips touch his own. It felt like a current of electricity surged though the other man and into him. He felt hot and his legs began to tingle.

He felt Hiroki pressing closer into him, pressing him into the wall. Hiroki kissed him and he was kissing back. He put his arms up to hold Hiroki, but the older man touched his shoulders and held his arms down, against the wall as his unbuttoned shirt slipped off of his shoulders. Hiroki eased the shirt off and it fell to the floor. Now he let Aoi’s shoulders go. The dark haired guitarist wrapped his arms around the older man. He could feel the damp thin cotton clinging to the well made body. His mouth opened and he felt the other man’s tongue slip inside, probing gently, exploring. He met the other tongue, touching it lightly. He could feel his cock harden painfully. Aoi felt Hiroki’s hardness pressed against him, parting the robe, unencumbered by underwear. He responded by gripping Hiroki’s ass and pressing him tighter against his own body. He moved his hips slightly from side to side and heard Hiroki let out a gasp of pleasure as they continued to kiss.

The kiss, so gentle to start had become electric, hungry, arousing. Aoi kneaded Hiroki’s ass harder with one hand, while the other hand slid up the older man’s back to the nape of his neck He pulled Hiroki in even closer as his tongue darted inside of the other man’s mouth, sucking, tasting. He was now pressed so tightly against the wall he could hardly breath, not that he even thought about wanting to. A low groan came from the older man and Aoi could feel Hiroki slide his tongue out and run it down his neck, sending chills up his spine. Hiroki leaned into Aoi’s left ear and whispered in a husky voice. “Do you want me Yuu? Do you really want me? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.” He kissed Aoi’s ear, licking the earring there. “I’m dying for you. I really am. But I don’t want to do anything if it spoils our friendship.”

Aoi tipped his head back, exposing the whole of his neck for Hiroki to kiss and lick. He moaned. “I want you Hiroki. I’m bursting with wanting you. I want you right now.” It was true. Aoi wanted this man so damned bad! Hiroki was kind and gentle and only wanted whatever Aoi was willing to give. Aoi felt genuine friendship for the handsome man in front of him. He felt real, normal around Hiroki. It was so easy to be with him. To share a laugh, a joke, a story. Everything was easy. Aoi knew this could be good without getting complicated. That’s what he wanted now. He put his chin down and looked at the older man. He kissed Hiroki and looked into his eyes. “Yes. I want you Hiroki.” The older man smiled. Aoi wrapped his hand around the other man’s hard cock and started stroking it up and down. Hiroki closed his eyes and groaned loudly again.

“I think I’m going to melt Yuu. Let’s go back to my bedroom, yes?” His breathing was strained, labored, his voice deep and husky. He took Aoi by the hand and led the way out of the kitchen, through the living room and into the bedroom. It was all fresh and clean now. Perfect. Ready. The sun was still out, casting late afternoon rays of light into the room. It had only been about noon when Hiroki had gotten home. Hiroki untied his robe and it fell to the floor. Aoi was glad for the light. He could see every ripple, every muscle in the other man’s beautiful body. He pulled his white undershirt off, as Hiroki unzipped his pants and pulled them down to the ground. Aoi stepped out of his pants. Hiroki was already pulling off his boxers. His stiff cock sprung out, released suddenly from its confinement. They also fell to the floor. Both men were nude.

Hiroki put his arms around Aoi and kissed him again. The same electric, demanding kiss as before. Aoi’s cock swelled even harder and twitched from excitement. Air hissed through his teeth as he took in a sudden breath, laden with pleasure. Hiroki dropped to his knees and took Aoi’s swollen cock in his hands, stroking it softly. He slipped the head inside his mouth, sucking gently, licking the soft membrane under the head of the cock as he sucked. Aoi let out a loud moan and grabbed Hiroki’s head, holding on tightly. He felt Hiroki slide his tongue all the way down his hard shaft, swallowing more length as he went. Aoi was nearly delirious with pleasure. He closed his eyes and rocked his hips back and forth, thrusting his hard member deeper inside of Hiroki’s mouth, working into a rhythm. It felt like he was fucking Hiroki’s mouth.

“Ahhhhhhhh… Hiroki. I can’t last much longer. It feels too god what you’re doing to me. Do you want me to cum in your mouth?” Hiroki slid Aoi’s cock out of his mouth, licking and teasing as he went back down. He stood up and kissed the guitarist. “I’d swallow your cum anytime, but this time I want you to come with me inside you. Is that alright?” Aoi felt a tingling sensation inside his ass as Hiroki said these words to him. It felt like Hiroki was already inside him, buried deeply. He groaned. “Oh baby, yeah. I want that. I want you in me. Now!” They fell onto the futon together. Hiroki flipped Aoi so he was on top of the handsome dark haired guitarist, all his weight on top. He pulled Aoi in for a deep, searching kiss, then broke off, lifting himself up to pull open the small shelf door in the low nightstand next to the bed. He fumbled for a minute then come out with a tube of lubricant. Real lubricant. Aoi smiled. It was the first real lube he had seen for days.

Hiroki unscrewed the top and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers. He raised himself up and kneeling, he spread Aoi’s legs apart; applying the lube to the tight muscle, slipping his index finger inside. He lifted Aoi’s legs onto his shoulders, still sliding his finger in and out rhythmically. He slid in a second finger and then a third. Aoi closed his eyes and moaned loudly, again and again. A bead of pearly pre-cum appeared on the end of Aoi’s cock as it twitched up and down. Hiroki nodded to himself. Aoi was ready for him. He put the tip of his hard, thick cock up to the entrance, withdrawing his fingers. Pushing gently, Hiroki entered Aoi slowly. He worked the head inside and slowly inched his way deeper. Aoi let out a scream, not from pain, but from enjoyment, pure animal gratification.

Hiroki held onto Aoi’s legs as he thrust his cock deeper and deeper, in and out. Aoi clutched at the futon underneath with a death grip, holding on as the older man slammed into his ass harder and harder. He twined his legs tightly behind Hiroki’s head. Aoi moaned loudly. “Yeah baby! This feels so good. Hiroki! Fuck me! Harder! Come inside me! I want to feel it.! AGhhhhhhhhhhh..!!!!!!!!!!” He screamed again with the pleasure. Hiroki closed his eye, moaning, fucking harder. He let go of Aoi’s leg with one of his hands and wrapped his fingers around Aoi’s hard, long, swollen cock. He gripped it hard, stroking up and down as he fucked the younger man faster, deeper.

Aoi felt Hiroki stroking him, holding his cock tightly. He felt the hard cock fill him completely, deeply. He was frenzied. He was boiling inside, seething with delirious pleasure. His explosion was seconds away. “Ah Hiroki, I can’t hold back anymore! Cum with me! Cum in me!” “Yuu, I’m going to cum in you now!” “Oh baby! Yeah!” Aoi shivered and his body arched as his orgasm swept him away. He cried out as his muscles tightened and his cock exploded, shooting a thick wave of pearly cum at Hiroki’s stomach. Hiroki roared and discharged his cum deep inside of Aoi’s ass. Aoi could feel the heat from Hiroki’s cum as it spread deep inside him. His long fingers clenching and unclenching the futon spastically. He felt Hiroki collapse on top of him. Their bodies were both drenched in sweat, their breathing labored. Aoi put his hand on Hiroki’s head and stroked the damp hair as he struggled to breathe normally.

Hiroki looked up and kissed Aoi softly on the lips. “That was beautiful Yuu. It really was. For me anyway.” Hiroki put his head down on Aoi’s chest, gasping for air. Aoi kissed the damp hair as he softly stoked the sweaty back on top of him. He lifted Hiroki’s chin up and kissed his lips. “That was amazing. It was beautiful for me too.” He smiled at Hiroki, who happily smiled back. Aoi felt relief and contentment wash over him. He felt peaceful. He felt good inside. Clean. They had shared something beautiful equally, as partners. He could feel Hiroki breathing peacefully now on top of him.

Aoi moved slightly, adjusting Hiroki’s weight so that it wasn’t all directly on top of him. Hiroki lifted his head, realizing that he must be crushing Aoi. “I don’t want to suffocate you” he said with a smile. He rolled off to the side. Aoi put his arm around the other man. They enjoyed a companionable silence. “I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to fall asleep in a moment.” Aoi stroked Hiroki’s hair gently. “Sleep now. We can talk when you wake up. I want to talk to you about something.” Hiroki nodded, kissed Aoi softly and closed his eyes. Aoi realized Hiroki was asleep already. He lay there for a moment and then gently removed his arm from underneath the other man.

It was starting to get dark now. Deep violet shadows were filling the room. Aoi looked at the sleeping man and felt happiness in his heart. Hiroki looked so handsome, so peaceful. Aoi went into the kitchen and lit a cigarette. He cracked open another beer and drank it down slowly. He felt calm next to Hiroki. That was a very good feeling. More than that… he didn’t know and didn’t think it mattered right now. He felt like he was being healed. Already he felt more like his old self. He smiled to himself as he smoked. When Hiroki woke up, Aoi would talk to him about finding some work. This was the right thing to do. It made sense to him. It’s what he wanted. He wanted to work with Hiroki, to do some good for the people in the city. At least for awhile. He finished his cigarette and his beer and padded back into the bedroom. It was almost completely dark now, except for a small sliver of silver moonlight coming in through the window. He snuggled in next to the sleeping man and pulling up the quilt, put his arm around him and closed his eyes.

1. Excerpt from “Letters To a Young Poet” by Rainier Maria Rilke
2. tokutei: Special. Only one third of all Sake is tokutei. It is the highest grade of Sake. All the rest is known as nihonshu.
junmai is a type of tokutei. It is very pure and the best grade of tokutei. It is made only from rice, with no extra adulterating alcohol added.
What Hiroki shared with Aoi was very nice indeed.

End of Chapter 8

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [7/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T05:36:05Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 7/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: Aoi and Uruha spend the night together. In the clear light of the morning, they made love to each other. Kai does something drastic.
Comments: This is for anychan. It is also for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me!^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted October 4, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 7

Aoi woke up early. The sun just starting to shimmer in through the windows behind him. The small beams of light glimmering off of the boudoir mirror at the foot of the bed and lighting up the calm, sleeping face of the man next to him. Uruha’s arms were still wrapped tightly around him. Aoi sighed with happy pleasure and snuggled deeper into the younger man’s side, stretching his arm all the way around the slim waist of the blond man, holding him closely. He couldn’t resist. He planted a soft kiss on Uruha’s full, generous lips. He was about to pull away, not wanting to awaken the blond guitarist when he felt the other man’s lips pressing back at his. He felt Uruha’s slim arm moving up his back, to his head, stoking his hair and pressing him tighter for a deeper kiss.

Aoi’s tongue slipped inside of Uruha’s mouth probing gently, feeling the other answer his delicate search with a harder, more urgent touch. He felt the urgency too. They might have only hours more together. Harder the kiss became. More demanding. Arms grasping and holding tightly, sliding up and down each other’s bodies, testing, exploring, increasing in tempo. Almost in a frenzy. Aoi felt hands sliding underneath his shirt, down his pants, as he did the same. The touch was like electricity to his already wired body. His body had become sensitized in the last several days it seemed and craved the touches he had become used to.

A low throaty groan escaped from Aoi’s lips, through the long kiss. He was panting with excitement and desire. He hadn’t wanted anything last night but peace. He had only wanted to be held. Sweet sleep had followed. Sleep filled with strength in the knowledge of real love. But now in the light of the dawn, he was aroused by the man next to him. Aroused not by desire, but by the man. It felt right. It felt like all the pieces clicked together now. Like he was doing the right thing. Uruha had this effect on him! He was almost surprised by the force of that effect.

“I want you Kouyou. I want no one but you!” He kissed the blond on the throat, licking the soft creamy skin under the chin and around the jaw to the ear. The sweet, delicate ear. He gently put his tongue on the whorls and folds and licked softly, stopping to blow his breath in gently. He felt Uruha shiver and moan. He nibbled at the earring there, leaving the beautiful ear to lick the soft neck again. He looked at the creamy ivory skin. “I’ll put my mark on you and know it is you this time.” He bent down to suck a small piece of skin. He lifted himself up to look at his handiwork. A small pinkish,-purple spot had appeared on the unblemished skin. He bent down and sucked another piece. And another. He kept at it until he had the small pattern he had wanted. He looked again. The little purple marks had formed a small heart shape on Uruha’s neck.

Aoi smiled and kissed Uruha full on the lips. “It feels right being with you. It feels…”He stopped for a moment, looking for the perfect word. “like heaven to be next to you. I feel safe with you. Maybe you are an angel?” Aoi laughed softly. Uruha smiled and then a gleam came into his eyes. “I feel like a devil with you though! I feel like I have a demon inside me.” He looked down and indicated the obvious bulge in his pants. Aoi put his hand on the bulge and felt it twitch under his touch. He took Uruha’s hand and put it on the large swelling in his own pants. “Maybe we need to get rid of the pants?” Uruha suggested with a playful look in his eyes.

Aoi grinned and unzipped Uruha’s pants. He got on his knees and tugged them down and off of the blond. Uruha was flat on his back, arms behind his head, watching Aoi disrobe him. The pants, now but a memory, lay discarded at the foot of the futon. Aoi reached up and slowly tugged Uruha’s boxers off. The elastic got slightly caught on the large erection underneath. Aoi reached in and held down Uruha’s thick, hard cock and slid the boxers all the way off. The blond moaned softly at the touch as Aoi smiled. He next quickly took off his own pants and tee. He tugged on his boxers and his hard cock sprang out, happy to be released from confinement.

Slowly he crawled on top of Uruha, his long legs holding the other man’s legs together tightly. “You’re teasing me.” Uruha said softly, pretending to pout. Aoi smiled. “I’m not finished undressing you. I want to make love to you with all of your clothes off.” Saying this, he pulled at the hem of Uruha’s tee and slid it slowly up his torso. Aoi bent his head to lightly lick the beautifully sculpted chest. He rubbed his cheek softly against the hairless chest, kissing and nibbling softly.

The shirt was half way off now, wrapped around Uruha’s face when Aoi looked up. “Ah! I want to see your face, we can’t have this.” He whipped the shirt all the way up and over the top of Uruha’s head. Uruha lifted up his head slightly to allow Aoi to take the shirt all the way off. He smiled. “You could have held me as your prisoner that way.” Aoi stroked the beautiful face and kissed him. “umm… Maybe another time. This time, no tricks, no teases. I just want to make love to you. I want to save this moment and remember it.” Uruha grabbed his arm. “You sound like maybe there won’t be a next time, like maybe we won’t see each other again!” “Shhh love. No. That’s not true. But still it might be awhile before we see each other. I just want a good solid clean memory. You understand?” Uruha nodded his head slowly. “Okay Yuu….” He still sounded worried. Aoi stroked his hair and kissed him again. Passionately, slowly. All the heat of his emotion in this kiss.

He broke the kiss and backed slowly down the length of Uruha’s gorgeous body until he was kneeling in between his calves. The perfect distance from Uruha’s beautiful, hard cock. He leaned down and kissed the small slit at the end of the cock. A small pearly bead of precum appeared at the end. He licked it off, tasting the slightly bitter, slightly salty flavor. He felt Uruha tremble at the touch. He wrapped his hand tightly around the base of the cock as he bent his head once more and put the head inside his mouth for a moment, rolling his tongue around it. His other hand was caressing Uruha’s ass, kneading the firm, tight flesh in between his fingers. He took Uruha’s cock out of his mouth for a moment and put his fingers inside, moistening them with his saliva. He gently put first one finger and then another inside of Uruha’s tight ass. The blond wriggled underneath him, and the hard cock twitched. Aoi bent down again and slid the entire shaft inside his mouth as he probed the inside of the tight little hole.

Uruha spread his legs further apart and moaned. Aoi sucked harder, allowing the hard shaft to sink deeper inside his mouth, until he could feel it at the base of his throat, thrusting his fingers in and out, increasing the tempo as his own desire gripped him. His own cock was swollen almost beyond what he could bear. He could feel it throbbing as he gave pleasure to the beautiful young man beneath him. He took his fingers out of Uruha’s ass and stuck his tongue inside. He wanted to get it nice and slick….
He could hear Uruha panting and groaning. The blond was trying to grab Aoi’s hair, his head, anything and hold on. “Oh baby! You’re driving me crazy!” he screamed. Aoi’s own condition was perilous as well. The time was right. He took his tongue out of Uruha’s ass and looked down at him. The blond was twisting and squirming on the futon. His fingers clenching and unclenching the soft material under his hands. “Yuu! Please!!” Uruha’s eyes begged for the release his own body craved.

“That’s enough! Now! I need you.” Aoi wrapped his arms around the blond flipping them both over so that now Aoi was on his back, Uruha pressed tightly to him on top. There was no space between their faces, their bodies. Aoi held the blond man tighter. “I love you Kouyou. I want this to be a special memory for both of us. I want to really make love to you now.” “I love you too. I have loved you, but now you know this.” Uruha said softly. Aoi nodded his head and smiled. He brushed his warm lips against the blonds’ and they kissed. Sweetly this time. Aoi had his hands on Uruha’s ass. “Lift up for me baby. Just a bit, okay?” Uruha spread his legs out so that he was straddling the older, dark haired man. He lifted his ass up and Aoi guided him back down on top of his raging hard on.

“Go slowly baby. I’m sorry we don’t have any lube. If it hurts, we can stop. I did my best with my tongue.” Uruha nodded his head and lowered himself slowly down on top of the big, hard cock, inch by inch. Aoi gasped as he felt his cock engulfed slowly by the tight muscle around Uruha’s hole. He groaned loudly, unable to keep his pleasure quiet any longer. Aoi was staring at the blond, unwilling to close his eyes and miss a thing, storing it all away as a precious memory. Uruha’s eyes were tightly closed until he sunk down all the way on top of Aoi’s hard cock. He sat there for a minute, and then opened his eyes, looking back into the deep, dark eyes staring at him full of love. Aoi’s lips were curled into a smile. Aoi felt peaceful. Strong, Loved. Uruha smiled back. Their eyes locked as Aoi held Uruha’s ass and started guiding him up and then down.

The blond leaned over, putting his weight on the older man’s chest, letting Aoi control the pace, the movement. Aoi kissed the blond man. His heart felt so full he thought it was going to burst. Faster he thrust upward, as he slammed the younger man down on top of himself. He felt like he was going to explode soon. He took one of his hands and wrapped it around Uruha’s hard cock, stroking up and down, mimicking their motions. Their lips met in a kiss, a frantic deep kiss. He felt the breath being sucked out of him. He was making love to Kouyou! His heart was screaming this as his body moved wildly on its own. Low deep moans and growls could be heard now from both men, as they frantically twisted and thrust. Aoi scrunched up his eyes. He was inches away from cumming inside of Uruha. He was trying to desperately hold it off, to prolong the pleasure, the moment.

Uruha’s hands were wrapped around his head, their tongues mingling in a sweet, wet, deep kiss. Mewling sounds of sheer pleasure were coming from the blond. It was driving Aoi crazy. He moaned and gasped, not worrying about the noise he was making. He grabbed Uruha tight and hard and rammed him tightly down and held him there. His body arched off the bed as he shot wave after wave of hot, sticky cum up into the younger man’s ass. Deep inside his body. He broke the kiss and his face contorted as he let out a bellow, a scream of pleasure. Every sinew in his body stretched tight, ever muscle taut. Uruha screamed and ejaculated all over Aoi’s stomach. The older man could feel the warm liquid squirt across his belly and drip off the side of his body. He could feel the contraction of Uruha’s muscle around his cock. He held Uruha close, tight, wrapping his arms all the way around the sweet blond man. “I love you Kouyou” he whispered softly. A feeling of warmth spread from his heart, down to the tips of his toes. A feeling of peace. Uruha kissed Aoi gently, deeply, tenderly, while playing with his hair, twisting it around in between his fingers. “I love you too Yuu.”

They lay together, entwined in each other’s arms, unwilling to be parted yet. Aoi felt like Uruha was a piece of himself, an extension. The feeling blew him away. He had never felt this kind of closeness before. It wasn’t a sexual feeling. It was a feeling from his heart. The love making had only enhanced this feeling. Aoi had a glimmer of the truth. This is what it was all about. All the true love songs. This belonging together feeling. “I feel like you are me.” Aoi said to the blond. “And I feel like you are me.” Uruha answered back. They kissed again. The early morning sun shone full and bright on Uruha’s pale hair, his ivory body, turning all the color of pale gold.

They giggled, breaking the kiss. Uruha lifted himself away from the sticky, wet mess. Aoi’s semen dripped from his ass and ran down his legs as he unplugged the still semi hard cock from himself and lifted up. He looked down, at himself, at Aoi. “What a mess we made!” They both laughed again. A small moan was heard from the other side of the screen. Both Aoi and Uruha froze. Enclosed in their bubble of joy, they had forgotten that they were not alone in the house. Their love had temporarily banished the specter of Kai’s presence, his deceit. But they were not alone. Someone was on the other side of the screen.

They both jumped up and pulled their pants quickly back on. Aoi walked over to the screen and pulled it open. Kai was lying there, kneeling in front of the screen. His body prostrate, his arms flung out. A bright red stain was spreading from under his arms. A dull steel blade, edged in red was lying next to him. Aoi lifted him up slightly at the waist, enabling Uruha to walk around Kai into the other room. Together they flipped him over, as Uruha felt for a pulse. “He’s alive.” Uruha‘s eyes met Aoi’s. “I think he just did this, just now. There is still time then.” Aoi picked the drummer up like a child and carried him back into the bedroom, laying him gently down on the futon. It wasn’t the ideal place, but it was the closest. Blood flowed out of his wrists, where he had cut himself. Blood mixed with the semen on the sheets.

Aoi placed his hands over the cuts, holding them tightly to try and stop the flow of blood. Uruha had disappeared. Aoi assumed it was to get some towels or cloth or something. He realized that he was worried sick for Kai. His anger had disappeared, drowned in his newly blossomed love this morning. He didn’t hate Kai any more. He put his head down to Kai’s chest and prayed. Please don’t die. “Yutaka…why?.... Please be alright!” Kai opened his eyes at the sound of Aoi’s voice. “I…I couldn’t bear everyone hating me…” Aoi could feel Uruha standing behind himself. He must have just come back. The blond kneeled next to Aoi, in front of the drummer. His arms were full of sheets, neatly ripped into long pieces. He dumped them down and stroked Kai’s hair softly. “We don’t hate you Yutaka. I don’t hate you.” He picked up a long strip of sheeting and taking Kai’s arm, started to wrap it around the wound tightly, to slow the flow of blood.

Uruha looked at Aoi as he bandaged Kai’s arm. Aoi understood. It had to come from him. He looked down at the young dark haired man. Lightly he stroked Kai’s cheek. “I don’t hate you Yutaka.” He paused. He needed Kai to believe him. “I was mad at myself. I was mad at everything. I took it out on you. You know my temper. I’m so sorry. I never meant the harsh things I said. I really don’t hate you. I was disappointed in myself. I’m over that now. Let’s put it all behind us.” Kai was breathing shallowly, but regularly. “You mean that? Really you do?” he asked softly. Aoi nodded, staring into his eyes. “Then we don’t have to tell Akira about any of this?” Uruha and Aoi looked briefly at each other. That’s what this was all about. Not that they had made love this morning. Not that they were in love with each other. Rather, Kai was frightened of the bassist finding out, of losing him.

Aoi continued stroking Kai’s face as Uruha bandaged his arms. Uruha had finished with one arm and was working on the other. He spoke lightly, not looking Kai in the eye. “Yutaka. A lot has happened to all of us. But we need to be strong and healthy again. A healthy, whole family. A strong, trusting band. This has to be talked about between us all. You need help. Akira loves you and will understand. He won’t let you go. We know how much you love him. How much he means to you.” He spoke to Kai like he was a little child, slow, softly, afraid of frightening him. “Does it hurt much?” he asked. Kai was crying and nodded his head. “I don’t want to talk about this. I promise it won’t happen again. Sometimes, I just can’t control myself. I just want … something I can’t have.”

Uruha finished wrapping Kai’s arm and sat back on his heels. He pulled out the bottle of vodka from behind him. He’d wedged it down the back of his pants. “Drink this.” He opened the bottle and Aoi helped Kai to sit up. Together they coaxed him into drinking a good portion of the bottle. Aoi lowered the drummer back down. “Let’s talk about this again after you have had a little rest, okay?” Kai smiled faintly, already sleepy from the vodka. Uruha kissed him and then pulled Aoi out of the room.

They walked into the kitchen. Aoi was pacing back and forth. “What do we do? I don’t want him to die. I’m not mad at him, I see that he’s fucked up. He needs help.” Uruha touched Aoi gently and the older man stopped pacing, turning to look at his lover. The blond shook his head. “He won’t die. I got a good look at the cuts. They weren’t really deep. Yes, deep enough to bleed a bit, but already the bleeding had stopped as I was putting the bandages on. They will leave a scar and hurt like hell, but he won’t die.” Aoi took Uruha’s hand and held it tightly. He wiped his brow and his breathing slowed to normal.

Uruha continued. “There’s no way we can’t tell Aki about everything. He has a right to know. Besides, he’ll wonder why Yutaka tried to hurt himself. He must really love Aki or he wouldn’t have been so frantic that he would find out.” They were both silent for a moment. “I forgot all about him.” Aoi looked up and into Uruha’s eyes. “I feel like I forgot all about him, like I just left him out here alone, thinking about all the harsh things I had said.” Aoi pulled Uruha in close and held him. “Am I a bad person? I didn’t care that I had hurt him, I was enjoying all his misery yesterday.” Uruha looked up at his lover and kissed his cheek, then his chin, then his lips. Softly. “No Yuu. What you did was human. It’s human to have bad feelings, hurt feelings. It’s human to express them when you’ve been hurt. It doesn’t make you a bad person.” He kissed Aoi again. “And besides, you apologized to him when he needed you. You said kind things even if your heart isn’t healed now.” He kissed Aoi again. Aoi reached up and put his hand around the back of Uruha’s head, pulling him closer and kissing him back tenderly. “Kouyou. My heart is healed now. I have you.”

They embraced for a moment longer, then Uruha pulled away and looked at him. “Why are you staying here then? Why won’t you come with me back to Osaka? Aoi fidgeted uncomfortably. “I can’t. I can’t explain it. I know I love you, but I still need to make everything right inside myself. I need to put all this drama behind me so I can think straight. I still don’t want to be around Yutaka yet. Not if I don’t have to. I’m still… not right inside.” He stopped for a moment. “I felt something special with you back there when we were making love. I felt like we were the same person. I’ve never felt that before. I didn’t even know that I could feel like that. Three days ago I thought I was deeply in love with Yutaka. It’s a feeling that has haunted me for over a year now. Now I find that what I feel for you is lightyears different than this feeling I have always thought was love. Now I feel something deep. Inside my stomach even.” He put his hand down to his stomach and rubbed it a little. “I have to hang out a bit and do something good while I figure it out. Before I can be around the whole band. I have to figure out what direction I’m going in.” He looked at Uruha with pleading eyes. “Please understand!”

Uruha reached up and smoothed a long piece of hair back, out of Aoi’s eye. He stroked Aoi’s long silky hair. He looked down at the other man. “You aren’t planning on quitting the band are you?” Aoi closed his eyes, savoring the feel of his lover’s fingers running though his hair. Still with eyes closed he breathed out deeply. The truth was best. He wouldn’t ever lie to Kouyou. “I don’t know.’ He said simply. Uruha wrapped his arms around the dark haired man and put his head against Aoi’s shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you. Not now. Now that I know what I feel in my heart with you.” Aoi didn’t have anything to say. He put his arms around his blond lover and held him tight. The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing. A sharp rapping on the front door broke the silence in the room. “PS Company here. We are looking for the Gazette members. We’re here to take you away.”

Aoi and Uruha looked at each other. The parting of the ways had come so suddenly.

End of Chapter 7

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [6/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T05:26:23Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 6/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: Aoi goes back to Hiroki's house and confronts Kai and Uruha, demanding to know the truth. Some startling truths are revealed. How real are appearences?
Comments: This is for anychan. It is also for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me!^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

I am sorry it took me so long to update this but I have been sick with the flu..:(

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted October 2, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 6

Aoi stopped the motorbike in front of Hiroki’s house, cutting the engine abruptly. The whole ride over he had thought of only one thing. How deceptive appearances were. How demure and sweet Kai seemed, unable to hurt a soul, while Uruha had the reputation as a slut. Neither of those things was true. Kai was the one that had hurt at least two people, three counting Reita, even if Reita didn’t know. Uruha had been the one to be hurt most in all of this, because he loved Aoi. Aoi’s anger was like a bubbling volcano. Seething and hot. He hated what Kai had done, not as much for himself, as how it had hurt Uruha and what it would do to Reita if he knew. Aoi felt so ashamed that he had been sucked in so easily. Sucked in because of his need to believe, his fantasy that Kai had found out about and played on. It made him also feel like a nothing. Silly and unimportant. Someone whose heart was not important enough to be considered as it was breaking. He knew that was his own vanity, but it hurt nonetheless. He wheeled the motorbike though the gate and threw it to the ground, storming into the house, his hair flying behind him like an avenging fury, his eyes hard as steel, cold as ice. His emotions boiling.

Aoi slammed the door behind himself. Not stopping to take off his shoes he started to walk into the hallway when Kai and Uruha appeared, their eyes questioning him for news, not seeing his anger. “Yuu baby! I’m so happy to see you!” Kai said, smiling sweetly. Uruha, still downcast, hung in the background, not wanting to interfere, but still wanting information. Aoi walked right up to Kai and extended his arms as if to draw the younger man towards himself. Kai, expecting a sweet embrace, threw himself into the older man’s arms. Aoi’s hands wrapped not around Kai’s waist, but his throat, squeezing tightly. A fever was on him, the demon of rage. As in a dream, Aoi felt Uruha’s hands on him, trying to pry them apart. Aoi’s vision cleared and his rage subsided. His anger, so rich, palpable and overflowing before, was now a cold hard edge. Like a blade. He flung Kai away. The drummer sailed through the air gracefully backwards, hitting the wall and sliding down.

“Yuu!! What the fuck are you doing?” He heard Uruha scream at him, the young guitarist’s voice rising an octave. “Are you trying to kill him?” Uruha walked over to the drummer and felt his neck for a pulse. He was alive, just stunned. Aoi stood there glowering at both of them, at everything in the room. Everything was his enemy now. “Yeah.” He said simply. “Maybe I was. He deserves what he just got, don’t feel sorry for him. He deserves worse.” Aoi stood there as Uruha straightened up slowly, his eyes looking warily at the older guitarist. Kai opened one eye and made a gurgling noise, like he was going to throw up. Uruha bent down to help him up. “If I were you, I wouldn’t touch that piece of shit. You’ll just get your hands dirty.” Aoi took his cigarettes out of his pocket and started walking away into the kitchen. “I want you both in here NOW!” he called out as he walked away.

In the kitchen he found a warm beer and cracked the cap off. He needed this now. It slid down, moist, warm, bubbly, soothing. He lit a cigarette and watched as Kai and Uruha both came shuffling behind him slowly, into the kitchen, like it was Judgment Day. It was as far as Aoi was concerned. Uruha had his arm around Kai’s waist, supporting him until they got to the table. Kai was crying softly, not looking at anyone. Aoi felt like laughing at his misery. It’s what you deserve, he thought. You deserve to feel twice as bad as you have made other’s feel. Karma. He finished his beer in silence, waiting for the two men to get settled. Uruha decided to remain standing. He also grabbed a beer and cracked it open.

“I know the truth. At least some of it. Now I want the rest.” Aoi stood very quietly, waiting. Uruha spoke. “How did you find out?” Aoi turned sharply on him. “What do you know and why didn’t you say anything to me? Why did you let me hurt you?” The beautiful blond shrugged. “I told you I promised. I promised three months ago.” Aoi’s mouth dropped open. “This is what you were talking about?” he was stunned. “I want to know everything and I won’t let either of you go until you tell me.” It was a hollow threat though and he knew it. He wasn’t going to hurt anyone. His anger was contained, cold. Besides, what could he do against the two of them?

Aoi took a deep breath. “I talked to Akira. He told me that Yutaka and he had not broken up. That they are buying a home together. I know that Yutaka lied then about breaking up with Akira. He’s been using me, playing me.” He looked at Uruha. “And he helped me to hurt you. That’s the part that hurts the most.” Aoi looked at the floor. “I ruined our chances now.” He looked back up to the blond, into those soft beautiful eyes. “Tell me! Please!” Uruha drank some more of his beer and took one of Aoi’s cigarettes. He lit it and exhaled. “Seems like a good time to start smoking again.” he said. Uruha looked over at Kai, who was sitting slouched in the chair, rubbing his neck and trying to look invisible. “It’s time to confess Yutaka. I’m going to tell Yuu everything. There have been too many secrets. What you do is hurting too many people. Kai didn’t acknowledge this at all, but fresh tears trickled down his cheeks.

Uruha looked back at Aoi. “Three months ago, I was at Akira’s apartment. Several people had been over and we were drinking and playing games. You were invited but you never showed up. Do you remember?” Aoi did indeed remember. He hadn’t wanted to be close to them that night, lost in his dreams of love for Kai. It had seemed too hard to see the drummer and the bassist loving each other in the freedom of a relaxed home setting. He had opted to go out drinking with Shin instead. He nodded his head and Uruha continued.

“Well, long story short, I got drunk and they wouldn’t let me drive home. Akira was pretty drunk too, so Yutaka gave me a blanket and told me to sleep on the couch while he got ready for bed and put Akira to bed also. I must have slept for awhile I think, but I was woken by Yutaka, who climbed naked into the covers with me and did the same to me that he did to you last night.” Uruha looked up and into Aoi’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to do anything either, but that one” he jerked his thumb at Kai, “is very skilled and I just couldn’t think beyond the feeling of pleasure.” He was silent for a moment as he remembered the night in the past.

“I was ashamed of myself the next morning for what I did. Yutaka stole back to Akira’s bed in the early morning. We hadn’t slept all night. Later….he asked me to never mention it. He said he had been drunk also. He had had part of a beer. I believed him and promised to never say anything to anyone. I have been ashamed that I fucked my best friend’s boyfriend for months now. Not just once, but three times that night.” Uruha paused. “That’s not the worst of it. Miyavi asked me last month why Yutaka and Akira still seemed so close even though they had broken up. I didn’t understand. It turns out that Yutaka played the same little trick on Miyavi that he played on you. Lying about loving you and breaking up with Akira for you.”

Aoi was silent while he digested this. Both he and Uruha were looking at Kai. This was fucking unbelievable! Appearances really are deceptive! Kai was the real slut here! Fooling everyone with his sweet little smile and quiet ways. Aoi wondered how much Akira knew, if he knew anything. All this time Aoi had loved someone who was not even worth it! He sighed. He was tired. His heart was tired. His brain was tired. He had loved an illusion. A defective illusion. A defective man.

Kai moaned and put his head to the table. He was crying softly. “I’m so sorry” was all they could make out between the tears and the sobbing. Aoi turned away, disgusted. He no longer cared about anything. This had been too much. He loved Uruha, but didn’t know how he could ever make it up to him, or if they could start over without these horrible memories. Aoi didn’t even know if he wanted to be part of the band anymore.

He started to walk out of the room, then remembered about the rest of his conversation with Ruki. They had to be told. He turned around, talking more to Uruha then to Kai. “I spoke with Takanori too. PSC has been trying to find us. They will take us to Osaka or where ever we want to go. Takanori and Tooru are going to Osaka to be with Akira.” Aoi looked reproachfully at Kai. “Your real boyfriend is okay and out of surgery by the way. Nice of you to ask about him” His voice dripped with sarcasm. He looked back at Uruha. “You can both decide what you want to do and where you want to be. Hiroki has contacted them and given them our address. I’m staying here. I’ve already decided.” He turned back around and walked out of the room.

Aoi spent the rest of the day in Hiroki’s room. He just didn’t want to talk to anyone now. He didn’t want to have to make polite conversation or angry conversation or any kind of conversation. It was easier to sit here in a neutral place and not have to think too much. He fell asleep for awhile out of sheer exhaustion, waking up to the sound of crickets and darkness surrounding him. There was a scratching on the shoji pane. A small, but insistent sound. Aoi sat up. “It’s me Yuu. It’s Kouyou. May I come in and talk to you?”

Aoi reached across the futon and slid the screen open. He saw Uruha silhouetted there, kneeling on the tatami on the other side of the screen. “Come in.” Aoi said simply. He slid back from the screen and reached for the small candle by the bed. He struck a match and it flared in the darkness as he lit the wick. He wanted to see the blond man as they talked. Uruha rose to a squat and bowing slightly, entered, kneeling again to close the screen. He made no move to come closer, but it was clear he wanted to talk.

“I still love you Yuu.” Uruha said. “I know that this might not be the moment for it, but I wanted you to know. I don’t hold you at fault for last night. The same thing happened to me. That’s what hurt me so badly. That I understood, but couldn’t say anything. I tried to tell you that in the garden. I hurt inside, not because of what you did, but because I knew that it was all a lie and that it was going to hurt you eventually.” He twisted his long, slim fingers. “I knew it was a lie, but I didn’t know how to stop it, or tell you. I’m sorry for that.”

Aoi reached over to Uruha and pulled him in closer, gently. “I am not angry with you Kouyou. I can’t be. I love you too. My love for you was just starting to blossom when it became withered from an early frost.” He hugged the blond softly. Uruha’s eyes filled with small, icy tears. “Does that mean it’s over now for us?” Aoi shook his head. “No. Not over…but…but I don’t know how to feel now, how to act. I can’t just go on like nothing has happened. This has shocked me too deeply. I need some space to think.” Aoi stroked the soft blond hair. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked quietly. “It hurts me that you were going to let me go off in the wrong direction all because of a lie.”

“I know how much you have loved Yutaka, and for how long. I wasn’t positive that what he said was a lie. Maybe he was being honest with you and saying something would have ruined it. This was what Yutaka and I have been fighting about the last couple of days. He swore to me that he loved you and that what he said was true. I suspected he was lying, but I just wasn’t sure!” Uruha looked away. “I didn’t know how to make a decision.”

The soft golden glow of the candle flickered, casting shadows across the face of the beautiful blond as it lit up his hair, turning it to a rich gold. Aoi’s fingers touched his face, gently tracing the delicate jawline, lingering on the soft cheek, the full lips. Aoi placed one hand on the back of Uruha’s neck, pulling him in closer. Their lips touched lightly. Soft full lips brushing gently. “I still love you Kouyou” He murmured softly, his breath expelling softly into the other man’s mouth. “I just need some time to think. I need to do something good. Something positive that makes a difference. I’m going to volunteer to help Hiroki with the cleanup of the city. Try to help some other people, try to find the good that’s left in our world. Maybe then…maybe then I’ll know how to feel, how to act about my own feelings.”

Uruha sunk his head against Aoi’s breast and wrapped his arms tightly around the older man. They stayed frozen like this for a heartbeat, then Uruha looked up. “I need to find out what’s happened to my family, then I guess I will join everyone in Osaka. I want to be with Akira and Takanori. I need their strong attitudes. I want to make us like a family again. I want us to be whole. I am going to have a talk with everyone. We can’t hide Yutaka’s problem anymore. It has to be faced and dealt with before he hurts any other people ….and …and himself even, irreparably.

Aoi stroked Uruha’s hair and held him closely. “I think that’s a good idea. I wish I could be part of it, but right now I can’t. I won’t run away though. I promise. I will heal myself and then join you and deal with all of it.” He realized that he didn’t want to let go of Uruha. He wanted this sweetness in his life. This was real. “I don’t know when PSC representatives will be here. It could be tonight still, tomorrow or the next day. It could be any moment. Please stay with me until then?” Aoi looked into Uruha’s eyes pleading. He didn’t want sex. Right now sex seemed dirty to him. He only wanted Uruha’s sweet presence. He just wanted to love. Simple healing love.

It was as if the blond guessed his thoughts. He lay down next to Aoi as the older man blew the candle out. The room was plunged into sudden darkness. Aoi wanted to be held. He snuggled up to Uruha, who wrapped his arms around the dark haired man, Aoi’s head on Uruha’s breast. The blond leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Aoi’s lips then settled back into the darkness. A small scurrying sound was heard on the other side of the screen. “Never mind that sweet prince.” Uruha said. “It’s just the sound of a rat in the darkness.” The two men lay quietly until sleep overtook them.

End of Chapter 6

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [5/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T05:06:24Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 5/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex, language.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Bands: Gazette, Kyo makes an appearance later on.
Synopsis: Aoi finds out who he was fucking and who he has hurt. He goes with Hiroki and talks to Ruki and Reita. He gets a tremendous shock.
Comments: This is for anychan. It is also for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me!^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted posted September 25, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 5

Aoi rolled off the other man’s back and onto his side. Cuddling close, he stroked the soft, wet hair from the other man’s neck and kissed it softly, sucking the skin gently to leave a little love mark. “Kouyou, baby, this is you, right?” He laughed softly. “Why don’t you answer? Why did you hide your identity?” He felt a movement as the warm body turned towards him and held him. “It’s Yutaka, Yuu.” Aoi felt his own damp hair being stroked away from his eyes. “Why did you think I was Kouyou?”

Aoi felt shocked. Why had he thought it was Uruha he had just made love to? Had he wanted it to be the beautiful blond and just assumed? No…it wasn’t just that. It was the audacity of the act that had also convinced Aoi that he had been making love to the blond guitarist. He really wouldn’t have believed that shy, quiet, unassuming Kai would have thought to do such a thing. But Kai had grabbed the front seat in the car today, and had been generally acting out of character lately. At least he was acting different today from the Kai that Aoi thought he knew…..

That meant though that the man he had heard crying was either Uruha or Hiroki. It was inconceivable that Hiroki would act this way. True, Aoi sensed an attraction, but they just didn’t know each other enough for Hiroki to have developed strong enough feelings to cry over this situation. That meant it had to be Uruha! He rolled back away from Kai and onto his back, his hand covering his eyes. “Ahhhhhhhhhh…” Aoi cried. It hurt his heart to think that Uruha had heard them. Was assuming that Aoi had known it was Kai here with him…Kai ….

Kai leaned over Aoi and kissed his lips. “Don’t think so much Yuu…” Kai said pleadingly. “I’m sure Kouyou will understand. He would have done the same thing. After all, you thought I was him.” Aoi rolled away a bit more. He was disgusted at himself for letting this happen and with Kai for not caring. “Yeah. But it wasn’t him. He didn’t come in here and arouse me in the darkness.” Now that Aoi thought about it, it all seemed so wrong. In all his dreams, making love to Kai had been a beautiful image. Untarnished. Pure love. Now twice he had been with Kai under less than favorable circumstances. It just wasn’t alright. Maybe he was being romantic, but that’s just how he was and he couldn’t change that. “How come you did that Yutaka? Why didn’t you tell me it was you?” Kai stoked Aoi’s cheek, his long, strong fingers trailing down Aoi’s lean, supple body, down to his sticky, moist, now flaccid cock. “I just wanted to surprise you. I thought that would turn you on…and it did.” he said as he caressed Aoi’s cock.

In spite of himself, Aoi was getting aroused again. He tried to roll further away. Kai moved to sit on top of him, straddling his thighs like some wild horse. Kai might be slim, but he was strong. He pinned Aoi down and leaning over, kissed him on the lips, trying to slide his long tongue inside. He kissed Aoi’s neck and played with his cock at the same time. Aoi knew he wasn’t getting hard this time though. He was angry. He didn’t want to be fondled and treated like an object. He had always thought love was about equality and sharing. Not taking advantage of someone’s condition. Kai realized he wasn’t making Aoi hard by just touching him, so he slid down and started sucking on Aoi’s cock, trying to arouse the dark haired guitarist again.

“No Yutaka. I don’t want it like this. I don’t want it at all. I need to think.” Kai gave no indication that he had heard and continued sucking, stroking Aoi’s balls and inserting his finger into Aoi’s rectum at the same time. This did arouse the guitarist, and powerfully too, in spite of his anger, or maybe because of it. Kai could feel Aoi’s cock stiffen, so he sucked harder, picking up the tempo. A small moan escaped Aoi’s clenched teeth. He felt something slimy squirt up his ass, followed by the feeling of Kai’s huge erection inching its way inside him, filling him. Kai slid his cock all the way in and then leaned down and kissed Aoi on the lips. His lips trailed down the side of Aoi’s neck, nibbling and biting softly as he fucked the guitarist, thrusting leisurely. He sucked a small piece of skin on Aoi’s neck, leaving his own mark. Proof of ownership of the dark-haired man. Proof of victory. “I wanted you so badly Yuu. Forgive me, please. I don’t know how much more time we have together, and I just wanted to be with you! Don’t fault me for loving you, please!”

Kai sat back up, putting Aoi’s legs over his shoulders. He was stroking Aoi’s cock as he rammed himself deeper and deeper inside the dark haired guitarist. This sensation of penetration as well as having his cock massaged, caressed was a powerful feeling. Kai’s soothing words seemed to make sense to his jumbled brain. He couldn’t stay mad at Kai. Even when he wanted to. How could he be mad at Kai if the drummer had acted out of love? He threw his head back, grinding his teeth together to stop any sound from coming out. He really didn’t want to hurt Uruha! But this was his dream with Kai come true. His fingers clenched the futon under him as he trashed and twisted in agonizing pleasure. Kai had no qualms however about being quiet and was growling and moaning in his own pleasure.

“I want you to come for me.” Kai said. “I want to drive you crazy. I want to hear you scream.” The drummer thrust harder now, rougher, his hands both still fondling Aoi’s swollen erection. Aoi crossed his legs tightly around the back of Kai’s head to hold on though this wild ride. His back arched off of the futon from the power of all this sensual delight. Who would have thought that quiet, mild Kai could be so skilled in the art of pleasure? Aoi’s body was acting on it’s own. Animal instinct. Fantasies of Kai and himself together this way forever playing through his brain. All of Aoi’s old romantic and lustful fantasies rippling through his mind. He had waited a year to feel this!

Still, with all the wild pleasure, Aoi was silent. Nothing more than a hissing of breath through his teeth. This silence seemed to spur Kai on to new heights of roughness. “Scream for me Yuu!” Kai demanded. The drummer put his head down to Aoi’s cock, his long wet tongue just able to reach the hard, swollen head as he continued to fuck harder and harder. Aoi felt the wet tongue slide over his erection as Kai continued to slam his cock even deeper inside his ass. Aoi lost it completely. Cum squirted out of Aoi’s stiff cock, splashing Kai in the face. His body buckled and arched as his fingers dug deeper into the comforter. A low growl escaped his lips, in spite of his vow to not make any noise and at the same time, he felt the warmth of Kai’s hot sperm spreading deep inside his ass. He almost lost consciousness, so deep was the orgasm.

An exhausted and drained Kai collapsed on top of him, arms and legs splayed out. They lay there for the space of many heartbeats, quiet, panting. Aoi slowly turned his face to the drummer and kissed him. He could taste his cum on Kai’s mouth, could feel the stickiness splashed across those soft, delicate cheeks. Kai laughed softly. “See! That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Aoi stroked Kai’s hair. “It was…it was everything I’ve always dreamed about with you Yutaka. Every wild fantasy I have ever had about you all rolled up into one.” He felt drowsy now, drained. Suppressing a yawn he kissed Kai again. “How about you? Was it what you wanted?” “Oh. It was fine Yuu. But I’m tired now and we need to get some sleep.” Kai slid over onto the futon and curled up against Aoi. Aoi had some thoughts swirling through his head, but he was too tired to sort them out. He was starting to fall back asleep. He yawned. Through the mist of sleep he heard Kai say. “That Hiroki really seems to like you. Don’t let him fuck you Yuu. You’re all mine for now.” That was the last thing Aoi heard as sleep over took his abused and exhausted body.

Aoi awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. Pale grey light seeping in told him it must be early morning. He stretched his arm out, but the space next to him was empty. He opened his eyes and looked. No Kai. He was alone. Just like in every other dream he had had about the drummer. But the stains on the futon and the almost empty bottle of mayonnaise lying on the floor told him that this had been no dream. He stood up and stooped down for his clothes. He really needed a bath! He was covered with cum and mayonnaise. And not just from last night. He still had the cum from Uruha on him. Thinking this was like a stab to his heart. Uruha! The blond had heard him and Kai last night. Maybe more than once too. He had never wanted or meant to hurt the beautiful blond. There was no apology that would make Uruha understand how bad he felt.

As he slowly got dressed, he wondered how he was going to face Uruha? He sighed softly. Kai’s attitude after their last love making also had him puzzled. Kai was becoming a more complex mystery! The more he was around the young drummer, the more he learned about him, and the more he realized that he didn’t really know him at all. His attitude towards their sexual encounter had seemed cavalier, blasé. Aoi had expected a pronouncement of love, something sweet at least. Not just “It was fine.” He felt his neck, knowing that Kai’s love mark was sure to be visible. Well, he had also left one on Kai’s neck even if he had been thinking it was Uruha he had marked. And that cryptic comment about Hiroki…. Was Aoi Kai’s property now? Well he had to make some sort of choice. He had wanted Kai for a year now and it seemed that Kai returned his feelings. The lovemaking certainly was of a caliber and intensity he had never experienced before. The same nagging doubts about Kai that plagued him yesterday arose again in his brain, but he shoved them away. He couldn’t afford to be negative at a time like this. He had to show some sort of trust. He shoved his doubts out of the way and finished getting dressed.

He raked his long hair back with his fingers as he walked slowly down the stairs. He could hear sounds coming from the kitchen and saw the soft glow of the over head light as he got closer. Uruha was sitting with Hiroki at the small kitchen table, both of them drinking coffee, while Kai was cooking something for breakfast. Uruha looked up as Aoi walked in and then away sharply. Hiroki smiled at Aoi, not seeming to notice the sudden drop in the temperature of the room, the chilliness between the band members. “Hi.” Aoi waved in a half hearted sort of way and turned towards the coffee pot as a beaming Kai slid an empty mug to him. As he filled his cup, he heard Hiroki ask, “Did you sleep alright last night?” Aoi brought his mug to the table and say down next to Hiroki and Uruha. Self consciously he reached up to his neck to try and hide the small purple mark with his hand. He knew it was futile though and took a sip of steaming coffee, grateful to be able to have this small luxury now.

“I slept well Hiroki-san” he replied quietly, studiously not looking at Uruha. “Many thanks for all your generous hospitality. And you? Did you sleep well also?” Hiroki smiled. I got up and it was still dark, but I found Kouyou here already awake and we had a nice time to get to know each other.” Aoi looked at him closely, but this was said without any barb or sarcasm. Aoi took it at face value. Hiroki continued. “Kouyou was kind enough to reheat your leftovers for me this morning.” He looked at Kai. “That one there is a good cook! Even old, it was delicious!” He smiled. “Of course I will eat again!” Hiroki laughed.”We have an old well in the back, and boiled it will be sanitary enough to use. There is plenty of water, so if you help me haul more in, we can all take baths today before you and I have to go.”

Aoi nodded, gratified to be able to scrub his sins from the past two days away. Kai came to the table and set down four dishes of rice and some nori topping. A steaming pot of green tea was brought over and the men proceeded to pour the tea on their rice and sprinkle it with the topping. “Ahh! An old fashion breakfast, just like my Mom used to make!” Hiroki laughed. “You will make a good wife for somebody.” He smiled as he teased. Kai smiled faintly, not sure how to take this. Uruha was still silent. Drinking only his coffee and picking at the rice. Kai and Hiroki seemed to be the only ones smiling.

Breakfast finished, Hiroki grabbed Aoi to help him carry in enough buckets of water to fill the tub. Kai and Uruha had cleaned up and Kai had disappeared upstairs, maybe to sleep some more, Aoi wondered. He spotted Uruha sitting in the living room, his guitar on his lap, plucking at some strings, making small sounds. Aoi set his empty bucket down and walked over to the blond. “We need to talk.” Uruha looked up at him and shrugged. “If you wish it.” He said lethargically. Aoi bent down and grabbed his arm. “I want to talk to you. We need privacy though.” He looked around and heard Hiroki come in with another bucket of water. “Later.” He said. Uruha shrugged again and went back to his playing. Aoi’s heart broke to see Uruha, so quiet and small looking. So crushed.

The water for the tub was heated and the men all took turns washing. It felt liberating for Aoi to be clean again. He felt his head become clearer, his thoughts stable. He felt he had grown somehow closer to Kai during the night. He felt like that was the right road for him to take. Didn’t he owe it to Kai also? After all, based on Aoi’s feelings, Kai had broken up with his long term boyfriend, with Akira. As much as he loved Uruha, and he did, truly, it would seem churlish now to throw Kai aside after that sort of sacrifice! No. He had to prove to Kai that his break with Akira was justified, worth it. It was the right thing to do. He felt sadness for the lose of what he could have had with Uruha take hold of him. He wished things had worked out differently, but this was the way it was. He tried to shove the love he had for Uruha into a tiny, private place in his heart and lock it away.

Kai was taking a bath and Hiroki was getting dressed for work. Aoi spotted Uruha outside in the backyard. Aoi took his cigarettes and went outside to join him. He lit a cigarette and exhaled, walking over to the blond man. “Kouyou…I need to tell you how sorry I am about what happened last night.” Aoi took a drag off of his cigarette and looked away, afraid he might cry. He was that sorry. He exhaled and looked back at Uruha. The blond nodded. “There’s no need for sorry. What happened, well.. it happened.” “Kouyou, I thought it was you the whole time I was making love to Yutaka. He didn’t say anything and I…I thought it was you.” Uruha looked at him in the eyes. “I know. I heard you say my name. I heard you call me baby.” Uruha walked a short distance away and then turned back around to face Aoi. “I understand much more than you think I do. Believe me. Maybe even more than you know about. But I promised and I am an honorable man and I will keep my promise. Although I wish I didn’t have to.” He added. Aoi nodded. He wasn’t going to ask any questions. “I’m going to go with Hiroki now. When I get back, we can all decide what we want to do and where we want to go. And if we want to stay together.”

He walked back into the house alone. He hadn’t said anything to Uruha about his choice. Nobody knew that but himself, for now. It was too fresh to talk about. The small hollow victory of having Kai, the lose of Uruha. Best to keep quiet. He was ready and waiting when Hiroki came out of the bedroom, dressed and ready to leave. Aoi told Hiroki that they could put the motorbike in the back of his vehicle and that would be his way back home. Hiroki smiled and nodded at the sense of the plan. Aoi walked out the door with Hiroki without looking back, without saying “goodbye” to anyone. Together they put the motorbike in the back of Hiroki’s car and left.

Aoi found it easy to talk to Hiroki. As they drove they told each other many small things about each other. The only thing Aoi held back was his recent tragedy of the heart. This wasn’t the time to get into it. Hiroki was easy to talk to and they had a lot in common. Aoi found himself laughing without restraint several times. Still chuckling from the last thing they had discussed, Aoi could see that they were pulling into a secured, fenced area. “I really do appreciate what you’re doing for me, for us Hiroki.” They had long since dropped the honorifics. They were friends now. Hiroki smiled. “Not a problem. Really.”

He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out. Aoi followed suit. They strolled to the back door and Hiroki showed his badge. “I’m a senior administrator here, but I do fieldwork just like everyone under me in an emergency of this magnitude.” As they walked through the building, coworkers were bowing to Hiroki as they passed in the hall. They came to a large office at the end of the hallway. Hiroki unlocked it with a cardkey and stepped through, beckoning Aoi to follow him. Aoi hadn’t had a clue to Hiroki’s importance. He was so unassuming and dressed in regular field clothes, like he had been yesterday.

Aoi took a seat as Hiroki picked up the telephone and spoke quickly to someone on the other end. He laughed at Aoi’s expression. “Yes. We have telephone service working in this building and a few other places. The government still needs to function correctly, emergency or not! The cabinet and the palace wouldn’t look kindly on us if we failed to be able to provide this to them.” Aoi nodded. Of course. How naïve he was in these matters! “I’ve sent someone to get the connection to Osaka hospital. They will have a phone ready at his bedside by the time our connection to Osaka goes through. If you would give me your other friends mobile number, I will arrange that connection also. Aoi nodded and wrote down Ruki and Kyo’s mobile numbers. Best to hand over both numbers to be safe. Where one was, the other would be. They were inseparable.

A young aide brought some tea in while they were waiting. Aoi sipped it with gratitude. He looked at Hiroki. He was older than Aoi, but still young to have such a position of importance. Aoi guessed his age to be mid-30’s perhaps. “You have all this, but you are not married? You have no family?” Hiroki laughed. “You haven’t guessed? I, like yourself, prefer men. I have no intentions of getting married. At least in the conventional way.” Aoi nodded. He had guessed, but hadn’t been 100 percent sure.

The phone rang, interrupting them. Hiroki picked it up, listened and handed it to Aoi. “Yuu? I was told that this was a call from you!” Ruki’s deep voice rang out over the headset. “Are you alright? What about everyone? We are still in Kyoto, it seemed the most prudent thing to do to stay here for now.” Aoi nodded “Takanori! I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear your voice! I have Kouyou and Yutaka with me. A kind friend has helped us. He has a position of authority. We are staying with him for now, so we are safe. But! Listen to me Takanori. Akira was injured in the earthquake. He was medi-vaced to Osaka Hospital.” Hiroki shoved a piece of paper at him. Aoi took it and read it. “Listen he is in room 4057. He was operated on yesterday, but it looks like he is going to be fine.” Aoi shook his head. “No. I don’t know the extent of his injuries, but maybe you and Tooru want to head over there to be with him. Maybe that’s where we all need to meet up. Osaka.”

He listened to the vocalist speaking at the other end of the phone for some minutes, a smile coming back to his lips. It felt good to have this contact again! “Okay. I see. Okay. Right. I’ll talk to you again then. Say hello to Tooru for me please.” He smiled and handed the phone back to Hiroki. Aoi was happy. It seems that the chairman of PS Company has been trying to contact all of the employees and get them to safety. They spoke with Takanori already and now he will make them aware of Akira’s situation. They will do everything to help. He explained this to Hiorki. “If I can contact them, they will get us out of here to Osaka.”

Hiroki nodded his head, but looked sad. “I was getting used to all of you being with me. I’ll miss you all, especially you.” Aoi looked at him and smiled. Hiroki dialed the phone and handed it to Aoi. “That will be Osaka hospital, room 4057.” Aoi took the phone, waiting. The ringing stopped abruptly. “Akira?” Aoi almost shouted. “Yes. It’s me. Is this Yuu? Aoi’s heart overfilled with joy at hearing the bassist’s voice. It sounded strong and good. “How are you? We’ve all been thinking about you so much and worrying.” This was true. A small ring of laughter. “Well.. they have me on many medications, but really I’m fine. My legs were both fractured and several of my ribs as well. I’ll be in a cast for weeks but I’ll walk again. I was worried about that….” He trailed off. “I didn’t want to be just half a man for Yutaka. He needs me”

Aoi’s heart stung. He was filled with guilt as he remembered that Yutaka had broken his relationship off with Akira the evening before the earthquake in favor of himself. “Aki. Listen. I’m so sorry. Really. I am so sorry.” Reita laughed. “What are you sorry about?” he asked. “That Yutaka broke up with you right before the earthquake. It’s all my fault.” Silence filled the phone. “What are you talking about Yuu? Are you on drugs?” Reita’s voice sounded incredulous. “We haven’t broken up! In fact we were just discussing our plans to buy a house together right after we made love, before the earthquake hit and the wardrobe fell on me. Take a pill man! You’ve been under too much stress! Our relationship is solid. We love each other as always.” Aoi could hear Reita laughing on the other end of the phone. “Umm.. Aki. I was just kidding. Just wanted to make you laugh. Haha.” Aoi’s brain reeled. He was in shock. Kai had lied about everything!! He just couldn’t think straight anymore! “Listen Akira, Takanori and Tooru are coming up to you soon, so stay chilled. You aren’t alone mate. We’re all thinking of you.”

Aoi put down the phone and thanking Hiroki, got up in a daze. “Wait! Yuu! Are you leaving?” Aoi nodded his head. “Umm…I’m going to go back to your house. I think I’m going to be staying with you for awhile if that’s okay with you. He remembered the offer that Ruki had told him from PS Company and hastily scribbled down the number of the chairman’s secretary. It was the number Ruki had told him to contact. “Would you call this number and tell them where we are? Maybe the guys want to go… I’m staying for awhile though, if it’s okay with you.” Hiroki smiled happily. “Of course it’s alright! I’m very glad you’re staying. You’re welcome as long as you like Yuu.” Aoi nodded. “See you in a couple days, when you get back home.” He stumbled out of the office in a fog. Out of the building.

He got the motorbike out of the back of Hiroki’s car. It felt like he was a robot. He couldn’t breathe! He sat down on the ground and put his head between his hands and cried silently. Kai had lied! About everything! There was no break up. Kai probably didn’t really love Aoi either. It was probably all a lie! He had been about to choose Kai. He had already committed his heart to that, even if he hadn’t said anything out loud to either man yet. Uruha! He knew something! He had almost lost Uruha! Maybe he had already lost Uruha. He remembered the look in the blond man’s eyes. He had hurt Uruha irrevocably by fucking with Kai, not only once, but twice! Once he might have been innocent, but the second time he had definitely known what he was doing. He had no excuse. He had let it happen! He had wanted it! He had wanted it with a force that scared him! That orgasm had been the most intense he had even experienced in his life and God help him, but he still wanted it! He wiped the tears from his eyes. There had been no love though, no matter how intense the fuck. “It was fine.” He remembered that’s what Kai had said about their encounter. “It was fine.”

Fucking Shit!!! It was not fine!! Holy Fucking motherfucking shit! The blood of anger ran so fast to Aoi’s head, the world went black for a minute. It was not fine. It wasn’t going to be fine! He was going to go back and ring Kai by his sweet little neck! Still in shock, he climbed on the bike and started back to Hiroki’s home… Whatever it took, he would find out the whole truth.

End Chapter 5

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [4/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T05:00:28Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 4/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: Aoi, Uruha and Kai escape Uruha's apartment after the aftershock ruins it. They make their way to Hiroki's house (Remember him? From chapter 1^^) where they stay as Hiroki has promised to help them find out about Reita and contact Ruki. Deep in the night, someone comes to lay with Aoi. They fuck in the darkness, but somebody hears them. Who is Aoi fucking? Who has heard?
Comments: This was originally written for anychan. It was only intended to be a oneshot really, but it has morphed out of my control. So now it is for all of you guys that have so faithfully been reading it and encouraging me!^^ Like always, C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn* (Except Hiroki! But he's so sweet and you can take him if you want! :D)

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted September 24, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 4

The shock rippled through the small apartment. Uruha however was faster than Aoi. He threw himself off the bed pulling Aoi with him. Aoi grabbed Kai’s hand and the three of them ended up tangled together on the floor as a large chunk of plaster landed with a ‘thunk!’ right where they had been moments before. The sunlight caught the dust from the falling plaster, making it sparkle innocently in the sunlight.

The three men held onto each other as the trembling subsided and then stopped altogether.
Aoi looked at Uruha and Kai to make sure they were alright. He shakily stood up, pulling the other two with him. “We need to get dressed and out of here I think.” Uruha nodded his head somberly. “I think you’re right about that. There could be more aftershocks. Outside in the open we’ll be safer.” Kai shook his head in bewilderment. “Why do we have to leave? It was so nice here.” Uruha pointed to the ceiling. “You want to be here when the rest comes down?” he said simply. Kai grimaced and shook his head.

“Where do we go now?” he asked innocently. Aoi was busy stuffing everything back into his pack. He pulled on his last clean shirt. “I don’t know right now, but let’s get dressed and get as much together to take with us as we can now.” He found his boxers tangled up in the sheets. “Kouyou. Do you have any clean pants?” He looked ruefully at his own jeans that had a big rip in the knee. Uruha looked over. “Of course! Both of you! Take some clean clothes. Yutaka, you don’t even have anything!” He walked to the dresser and pulled out several pairs of freshly laundered pants. “Take your pick. The shirts are all over here. I’ll take a few extra. Who knows if we’ll get a chance to get fresh clothes for awhile.”

The three men got dressed in silence. What could have been an awkward moment, instead serious. All thoughts now on survival. Aoi got his things out of the pockets of his dirty jeans. Keys, cigarettes, handset. What was this? A card! Hiroki’s card. He looked at it, a glimmer of an idea taking shape. He put everything in the new pants he was now wearing and looked around. Now that day had broken, Aoi could see the jumbled remains of Uruha’s apartment clearly. It might not have been that bad looking in the glow of the candle, but now with the sun, it was a mess. The jumbled and broken pieces of plaster on the bed couldn’t quite obscure the stain of mayonnaise and cum on the sheets. Aoi shook his head again, briefly wondering how he had gotten himself into this mess. A triangle of hearts. He took his pack and walked out of the room, refusing to think about it, for this minute!

Uruha was already in the kitchen, grabbing additional food and alcohol. He looked up as Aoi walked in, Kai trailing right after him. Uruha smiled his sweet angelic, but devil may care smile, holding up the bottle of vodka. “We might need this …again…” He was still cheerful, but his false bravado had dropped away, leaving bare the real man underneath. He tucked the vodka carefully away. He had his potbelly already encased and ready to roll. All three men now had a pack to carry and an instrument. Kai was combing his hair. He passed the comb to Uruha, who gratefully combed the plaster dust out of his own hair. The curse of long hair.

Aoi put his sunglasses on and strummed the top of the counter thoughtfully. “I have an idea…” he trailed off, uneasy about the plan. “We need to do several things. We need to try and find out how Akira is doing, we also need to try and contact anyone we can. Takanori, Manager, Shin….both of your parents… we need someone to help us with this. We also need a place to stay. I know someone who might be able to help us with both of these things, but we need to all get there together.”

He turned to Uruha and explained about meeting Hiroki. Kai already had met the other man, but was surprised that he had friended Aoi! “If you can ferry us to my car, we can put the bike in the trunk and get there together. That way we’ll still have the bike if we need it too.” Both Uruha and Kai nodded at the suggestion. Kai looked at his feet. “You thought of Akira first, while I… I was thinking of you.” Aoi stroked his cheek softly. “Don’t worry about it. A lot has happened this morning.” He smiled at the drummer, who smiled back like the sunshine. Uruha looked away and busied himself with his pack.

“Now, I think I should go with you first this time Kouyou, just to be sure my car is still there and in one piece.” He touched Kai lightly on the arm. “You won’t be alone for long Yutaka.” Uruha smiled and nodded. “I’ll be right back for you.” They all took their things and walked to the broken living room, being careful where they stepped. All three of the men helped to get the bike down the stairs and outside. Kai stayed there with it while Aoi and Uruha went up to get all of the stuff. “You’ll be safer outside, in case there is another aftershock Yutaka.” Aoi said to the drummer as he climbed onto the bike. Uruha climbed on behind him, holding both guitars across his lap. Aoi looked back and smiled. “I’ll go gently. You know how I am with equipment!” he laughed for the first time that day. His laughter clear and sharp against the dust coated world.

Kai looked at Aoi, his eyes sparkling. “You won’t forget me, will you? Either of you?” Aoi bent over and planted a soft, light kiss on his sweet lips. “No. We won’t. That’s a promise Yutaka.” Their eyes locked for a moment. Aoi’s dark and serious, Kai’s warm, deep, liquid velvet. Kai smiled, reassured. He adjusted his sunglasses while Uruha put his on. He started the engine, kicked up the stand and took off. He could feel Uruha holding him tightly around the waist as he carefully wove his way around fallen blocks of concrete, cracks in the road and things more ominous still, that he refused to look long at.

Too many times he saw a pile of debris and dark crusty stains. A broken dolly. A shoe. He could feel Uruha’s head on his back and feel the gentle shudder that told him the blond man was crying. Crying at seeing all the damage and destruction. It was too quiet. All the animals had long since gone. They knew, they always knew. Maybe he should get a cat….. his thoughts wove on in his brain, twisted and random, like the city landscape before him.

Finally he got to the area close to Reita’s apartment. He knew he couldn’t go through this area because there was no road. He veered off to the left. There was a small alley this way. Maybe it was clear and they could get all the way to his car? He wound up the small, dark alleyway. He held his breath. Could they get though? Small miracles do happen and although the going was slow, it was also clear. He saw his car in the distance. So lonely it looked sitting there. He had never been more grateful to see it.

He stopped the bike next to his small car and got off, helping Uruha. It looked untouched. He popped the trunk and put their things inside. Aoi turned to Uruha, who was standing very close to him. He put his arms around the younger man and drew him closer. His hands went up to Uruha’s face and encircled it. The skin so soft under his fingers. He drew the face closer to his. He closed his eyes. Aoi could feel Uruha put his hands around his neck, closing the distance. Their lips touched, warm and soft. Aoi sighed softly and bent in for a deep, searching kiss. He didn’t know when he would get the privacy to do this again for awhile. Their tongues met, probed, hungry. Uruha must have had the same thought. The kiss became fierce and demanding. Their bodies pressed so tightly together, Aoi felt Uruha’s cock become erect against his leg as his own also swelled and grew.

Aoi broke the kiss, still holding tightly onto the blond. “I’m so glad we had last night. I didn’t get to make love to you this morning.” He teased. Uruha chuckled softly. “If not for that chunk of plaster I’m sure you would have. I wanted it. Very much.” He kissed Aoi again. “I still do want it.” He looked longingly at the back seat of Aoi’s car. Aoi followed his glance, but shook his head, smiling. “We can’t now. There’s Yutaka waiting for you…” he trailed off, half expecting Uruha to act pissed. But Uruha smiled. “I know. I promised him.” The blond stroked Aoi’s jaw. “I’m glad you had him last night too.” He looked into Aoi’s eyes. “Really. I mean it. It’s what you always wanted and I know how much it meant to you. Maybe now you can choose. One way or another.”

He kissed Aoi softly and walked back to the bike, quiet, his head down. Aoi followed him and pulled him back by the arm. “Don’t go like that.” He held Uruha around the waist. “I love you Kouyou. I know I have some things to work out, but I do love you. Never doubt that!” He bent over and kissed Uruha again, softly. Uruha smiled and brushed his lips softly with his own. “I won’t Yuu.” He started the engine. “I’ll be back.”
He pulled out. Leaving Aoi alone for the second time in two days.

Aoi climbed inside the car. Man! It was hot! He started the engine and opened the windows then shut the engine off again. He didn’t want to waste gas. He lit a cigarette and got Hiroki’s card out of his pocket. He looked at the address. He didn’t know that part of town, it was over on the other side of Tokyo. He knew his plan was far-fetched but it was all he could come up with. If anyone could get to a communications system, Hiroki might just be able to do it now.

Aoi smoked 3 cigarettes waiting. Wishing he had a cup of coffee to go with. No! Make that a couple of cups. No harm in wishing? He smiled. He may as well wish to be home in Mie for all the good that would do him. He thought again about the two men he had fucked. No. Made love to. Whatever it was, it was love. Kai was so soft and warm. His dream come true. He had wanted that moment for a thousand days. But there was something wrong. Something that stopped him. Why hadn’t Kai ever given him any sign that his love was returned? Kai said he had known about Aoi’s love for months now. And felt the same. Why had he never given the slightest indication?

This confused Aoi. The drummer had confessed too readily. And at what time? When he had seen Aoi making love to Uruha. Something about that nagged at Aoi, but he didn’t know what it was. Also Uruha had allowed Kai to see his nude body and hadn’t seemed to think twice about it. Maybe Uruha has had a few boyfriends, but Aoi knew that he wasn’t a slut. No matter what his reputation. There was a piece of the puzzle missing and he didn’t know what shape or color it was. But he knew there was something he was missing.

His thoughts drifted for a moment, wondering what it would be like to make love to Kai alone, then wondering what it would be like to make love to Uruha alone. His cock twitched at these thoughts and he adjusted it out of the way. He brought his thoughts around to more important ones. Poor Reita. In all of this nobody seemed to be thinking about the bassist. Aoi wondered what his legs were like. How bad were his injuries? He sat in the bucket seat of the driver’s side, his legs sticking out onto the cracked pavement and bits of broken weeds. He lit another cigarette, lost again in his gentle reverie. The sound of a motor engine brought him out of his thoughts.

Uruha and Kai glided up along side of the car. Kai looked pissed at something. Uruha was silent. Aoi sighed. He got out of the car and popped the trunk again. They needed to stow the bike away. Uruha and he hoisted it up and got it into the trunk. Aoi slammed the lid. He walked over to the driver’s seat and saw that Kai had already climbed into the passenger seat. Uruha saw this also. He paused for a moment and then opened the back door, got into the seat next to the packs and slammed the door. Aoi started the car and headed west, to the other side of the city. To Hiroki. Silence. Aoi glanced over and lit a cigarette as he drove. “I wish you wouldn’t smoke in the car Yuu.” Kai said as his hand reached over to Aoi’s knee and rested there. Aoi scowled. NOBODY told him what to do in his car. No matter who. Fuck it.

He ignored the hand on his knee. It seemed impolite to Uruha to call attention to it, although he was sure the blond had already seen it. He drove without talking, wishing the other two would say something to break their silence. “Umm… Yutaka.. Hiroki’s house is a bit closer where your parents live. After we find out about Akira, if we can, I can take you to them if you wish.” He continued to drive as the sun rose higher in the sky. Uruha stirred in the back seat. He got out a bottle of water and cracked it open. “Here Yuu. You must be getting thirsty.” Aoi took a couple of swallows and passed it to Kai. He also took a few sips then handed it back to Uruha. Aoi could feel sweat leak down his back and his brow. He didn’t want to use air conditioning, trying to conserve fuel.

The ride was horrific. As bad as anything he had previously seen. After awhile he got used to it, concentrating instead on getting them there safely. A few false trails and a few stops, but 3 hours later he was parked in front of a small house in the far outskirts of town. Were they still even in Tokyo anymore? The area here looked untouched. Quiet. The three men got slowly out of the car and stretched their cramped muscles. Aoi led the way up to the gate door with a small amount of trepidation. Hiroki hadn’t mentioned anything about bringing two friends, but Aoi trusted his heart to be big enough to not care.

He knocked loudly on the gate. No use trying the bell without electricity. They waited in silence for a few minutes. Aoi tried again. Again they waited. He turned to his companions. “I guess he isn’t home. It was a long shot anyway.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we’ll just go to Yutaka’s parents since that’s closest now.” They walked back down the path to the car, when Aoi heard the gate behind him creak open and his name called. “Yuu. Yuu… I’m home.”

They turned around and Aoi saw a tall, handsome dark haired man standing there wearing only jeans hastily pulled on, not even zipped. Hiroki, his eyes slits, smiled. “I worked straight until an hour ago. I was sent home to sleep until my next shift tomorrow.” He smiled apologetically, bowing and beckoning them towards the inside of the gate. “I was sleeping. I almost didn’t hear you knock.” He smiled and his face looked even more handsome. His bare chest was lean and golden, smooth. The four men walked inside and Hiroki closed the door. They stooped to take off their shoes and Hiroki gestured at the shelf where spare slippers waited.

“I’m glad you came.” He stared for a long moment at Uruha and then Kai. "I take it these are your band mates?” he said to Aoi. Aoi bowed deeply. “We’re very grateful for you letting us in. Yeah. This is Yutaka” he gestured to the drummer, “and this is Kouyou.” Hiroki chuckled softly. “I know. I was at your live in Yokohama. I’m a fan.” He hesitated for a moment. “I’m not otaku or anything, I just like your music. That’s how I recognized you yesterday from the picture.” Aoi smiled. “We couldn’t be luckier then. We’re in good hands.” Uruha and Kai smiled at the dark haired man, charmed by his easy manner and good looks. Hiroki led the way into the living room. “This was my parent’s house, but they both died a few years ago, so I moved back into it. Relax please.” He sat on the couch, gesturing for Aoi to sit next to him.

The men relaxed for a minute. “I came to ask you a favor.” Aoi said simply and to the point. “I don’t know if this is possible, but can you find out anything about our hurt friend? He was taken to Osaka Hospital. Also is it possible for you to call our other friend, Ruki the vocalist. He’s in Kyoto so his handphone should be working. I know it’s a lot to ask…but ..you are our last hope.” Aoi looked at Hiroki and held his breath. Hiroki nodded his head slightly. “I can find out about your friend in Osaka and I might be able to get a message to your friend’s phone in Kyoto, but all the advanced emergency satellite communications equipment is at headquarters, and I don’t go back there until tomorrow. We work 72 hours and then get 24 off. I am not scheduled to come back until tomorrow. I haven’t slept in three days” he added apologetically.

Aoi touched his arm quickly in alarm. He looked at the other men then back to Hiroki. “Hiroki-san. I am so sorry. If it’s okay, can we stay here until you go to work? You need to sleep and I’m sorry we interrupted you.” Hiroki laughed. “Yeah. I do need to sleep, but I’m glad you came here and interpreted me. I welcome you all to stay here for as long as you want.” He stood up and showed them around the house. The kitchen was in the back, as was the bathroom, although there wasn’t any water. The living room and dining room, then his bedroom through a screen of rice paper. The upstairs held another small toilette and two large rooms separated by another rice paper screen. A small balcony was off of the room facing the street.

He walked over to a large closet in the upstairs room. It held many large and fluffy futons and covers. ‘Take what you need. Bring your things in and make yourselves at home. I probably won’t awaken until tomorrow morning.” He smiled ruefully. They all walked down the stairs and Hiroki took Aoi’s hand. It was warm and strong, just like the day before. “Tomorrow when I go to headquarters’, you come with me.” He looked apologetically at the other men. “I’m breaking rules as it is to take Yuu-san with me.” He turned back to Aoi. "You can send the messages you want and wait for the answers. Then you can leave. So sorry, but that’s the best I can do.” “That’s wonderful.” Aoi said, ignoring looks from Kai and Uruha. He knew what the problem was. Those two had a major problem being alone with each other and they were dreading being cooped up together. Fuck it!! This was what had to go down, doesn’t matter what anyone liked!

Hiroki held Aoi’s hand a moment longer and smiled warmly at him. Aoi returned the smile. Hiroki walked into his bedroom and shut the screen. Uruha was already on the way out to the car to get their things. Aoi and Kai joined him a moment later. Soon they had all their packs and instruments inside the house. Aoi was bone tired already. He felt like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days. Well he hadn’t eaten. “I’m hungry! How about you guys?” Kai smiled. “I’ll look in the kitchen and see what I can whip up.” He took their packs with the food and walking into the kitchen, dumped them all out on the counter. “Hey! What’s up with bringing this half used bottle of mayonnaise?” he asked. Uruha squirmed uncomfortably. “Well.. I thought maybe we might need it again, so I put it in the pack.” Aoi threw his head back and laughed. He laughed until tears came to his eyes and he had to hold his stomach because of the stitches of pain there. Uruha was laughing with him. “Shhuush….” Uruha said “We don’t want to wake Hiroki up!” Then he cracked up again.

Aoi choked back his laughter and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Yutaka! It’s what we used for lubrication last night! All three of us!” Kai looked shocked then slowly a small smile crept on his face. A grim broke out. “Mayonaise? You fucked me with mayonnaise?” he laughed softly. For the first time that day, all three men were able to share a moment of warmth. Then Kai’s smile vanished and he busied himself with the preparation of food again. He opened a tin of tiny shrimp and cracked some eggs into a bowl that he had found in the warm refrigerator. He added some flour and whisked it around. Aoi and Uruha looked at him in fascination. How he could do this so easily was an amazing thing to them.

Kai heated a pan and poured small rounds of batter onto it. Shrimp pancakes. He took out some sweet sauce and bonito flakes and set them aside. “I want to use the mayonnaise, but somehow I think I’ll use Hiroki’s if that’s okay.” Quickly he transferred the cooked pancakes to a platter and squirted the brown, sweet sauce on them, then the mayonnaise and then topped them with a generous helping of bonito flakes. He set it out while Uruha got three plates out of the cupboard, and Aoi found the chopsticks. They ate with gusto and enjoyment. They washed it all down with some warm beers they found. Kai had to drink it also, although he made a face. There simply was nothing else.

Aoi noticed the sun had set. He walked out into the backyard alone and gazed up at the sky. Little twinkly stars were just beginning to pop out in the dusky light. They winked and beamed at him happily, not concerned with what happened on the earth below. He felt sleepy. Maybe it was time to claim a room. He didn’t want to deal with picking a partner and he didn’t want both men at the same time. Not tonight. He preferred to go to sleep alone. He headed back inside and noticed that both Kai and Uruha had tidied up in his absence. He looked at them sheepishly. “I think I’m going to turn in now. It’s been a hell of a day for me. For all of us” he added.

He walked out of the room and up the stairs. He would take the back room. He got a futon and cover out of the closet and took it into the back room, shutting the screen tightly. He adjusted the bedding and then shed his clothing. Snuggling up inside the cover felt so soft, warm, comforting. He was asleep instantly.

Some small noise awakened him. Then a movement. He felt soft, warm , naked flesh touch him as a body snuggled into the covers with him. It was pitch black. Who was with him? He felt silky slender fingers stroke his body and finding his cock, start fondling it. He immediately got stiff and swollen. Warm soft lips brushed his own and a soft wet tongue slid into his mouth, cutting off his question. He was transported to an erotic dark dream and he forgot his question, but kissed back with ferocity, abandoning himself to the hot pleasure swelling in his loins. He felt something warm and sticky coat his cock and then the man turned over offering his ass for Aoi’s pleasure. Without thinking he thrust himself deeply inside the tight hole.

“Ahh.” A moan of pleasure and pain from the man underneath him. He slowed his thrust and inched his way in carefully until he was embedded deeply, to the hilt. Aoi let out a low growl of pleasure. He sunk onto the sticky back of the man underneath him and pumped his cock in and out, slowly, deeply, rhythmically. “Kouyou. Is that you?” Aoi gasped out in a whisper. Pleasure was driving him wild and he started thrusting his hard cock wildly inside the sweet ass. He paused in his hot fucking, deep in the night, deep inside this man, as he heard the screen slide and a quick intake of breath. Then the screen closed and someone was crying softly on the other side. Aoi was too far gone in pleasure to stop now. He could hear the small moans of pleasure coming from the man under him and he knew he was going to ejaculate soon. He thrust for all he was worth, his face twisted in pleasure, as he raced to deliver a massive creamy ending to the sweet torturous pleasure. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…” he groaned one last time as his hot seed squirted out in waves, deep inside the man under him.

Drained, he sunk down to rest against the back of the mystery man. As the blood came back to his brain he wondered who he had just fucked so sweetly. And who was it that had heard them and run away crying?

End Chapter 4

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [3/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T04:50:48Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 3/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: Aoi has just had sex with Uruha while in bed with Kai. Kai wakes up and confesses to Aoi that he had left Akira for Aoi. Aoi's heart is torn. Who does he love. What is he supposed to do? What does he do?
Comments: This was written for anychan. I hope everyone also likes it. C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn*
*cough* This chapter is rather long also, AGAIN!. I just can't seem to cut sex scenes and make them shorter STILL! (笑) This fic has taken a twisted turn. Sorry for the wait, but I wasn't sure what Aoi was feeling!<3
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2

xposted jrockyaoi

Formerly posted September 19, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 3

Aoi looked at Kai crying silently. He was in shock. His brain refused to work. He could feel Uruha next to him, silent, unmoving. What the fuck was going on? He sat up, slightly dizzy from the two orgasms and fatigue. “What do you mean?” he demanded from Kai, his voice rising in disbelief. He had waited for so long to hear those words from Kai, but now…NOW of all times!

The young drummer hiccoughed through his tears, trying to breathe, and tried to leave the bed, but Aoi grabbed him firmly by the wrist, refusing to allow this. He wanted the whole story. Still holding Kai by the wrist in a vice like grip, he turned to the young blond. “Kouyou! Yutaka told you this already and you never said a word! Why?” Aoi’s voice rose in pitch. Struggling to keep control over himself, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Uruha quietly sat up. It was plain that he was also crying. His voice shook as he answered. “I love you too. I’ve wanted you all this time, but didn’t think I could compete with your love for Yutaka. I wanted to show you my love, before…before you knew about …” he tumbled over his words and stopped, crying softly now and unable to go on.

Despite his anger and amazement at this sudden turn of events, Aoi was taken back by the desperation and honesty in Uruha’s voice. He dropped Kai’s wrist. He needed to get away from both of them right now. He felt confused, sick to his stomach. All this time he thought that nobody wanted him. He felt alone. Now it seems that both men had wanted him, and gone to desperate measure to be with him.

He looked at Kai. “You broke up with Akira last night. But….” He faltered, “But this morning you were both…both…I saw the stains on the sheets Yutaka. And…and you wanted to be with him so desperately in the helicopter! I don’t understand.” Aoi slid to the foot of the bed and got up. He didn’t want to have to touch either of the men in the bed now. He walked to the other side of the bed and grabbed one of the spare tee shirts that he had packed earlier. He couldn’t find his boxers. Fuck it. He pulled the tee over his head. He could feel two sets of eyes on him in the darkness. He grabbed the cigarettes and lighter from his jeans and walked out of the bedroom and into the damaged living room.

He wove his way around the debris in the room until he felt a small uncluttered space. It was where the couch had moved away from the wall. Feeling in the dark for any objects on the floor, he decided it was safe to sit here. He sunk to the floor and leaned against the wall. His could felt the roughness of the tatami with his naked ass, but it wasn’t so bad and he wasn’t going to go back in there right now and look for his boxers in the dark. He shook out a cigarette and lit it with trembling fingers.

He inhaled deeply. If only there was a way to talk to Shin. Cool, rational Shin. He always listened patiently and had good advice. This was his best friend and he trusted his opinion. But there wasn’t. He was on his own for tonight at least. He closed his eyes and took another drag from his cigarette. The problem was, he didn’t know what he felt! He had been confused enough during the day, wondering whether he had been wasting his time on Kai. Then hearing Uruha say ‘I love you’ to him. The love making with Uruha had been unorthodox, but sweet. Satisfying on another level besides the sexual.

As Aoi sat there and remembered, he felt his cock harden a little bit. What the fuck? He thought. I don’t understand myself anymore. What do I want? Images of Uruha fucking him and climaxing inside of him filled his thoughts. Images of his sweet ,soulful, satisfying discharge against Kai’s sweet ass. He got even harder. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, but the vision wouldn’t go away.

I love Yutaka. And I love Uruha.

He found it hard to believe that Kai suddenly loved him though. He had seen the love and desperation in Kai’s eyes as they took Reita away yesterday. Maybe it was like that for Kai too? Did the drummer love both himself and Aki? Maybe he had found out about Aoi’s feelings for him and just been flattered. Maybe he had just wanted to experience a new thrill?

Uruha however was another story. However despicable it seemed that Uruha had kept silent about Kai, it did seem as though he truly loved Aoi. Aoi realized that he was calmer now. He had to talk to both of the other men. He wasn’t going to solve this sitting here alone. But he had needed a time out.

He got up slowly from the floor. Making his way to the bedroom, he realized that the candle was lit again. He could see the cheery glow coming though the door. They were waiting for him. Holding his breathe, he opened the bedroom door and stepped into the room.

Both Kai and Uruha were on the bed naked. They were laying close together, the thin cotton sheet draped loosely around their waists. They both looked at Aoi as he walked into the room. Uruha sat up, the sheet falling from his body, exposing his perfectly sculpted torso, hips, thighs and cock, all golden in the candlelight. He made no move to cover himself back up, seeming to be comfortable with Kai and Aoi seeing everything.

“Yutaka and I had a long talk.” Uruha said softly. “I apologized to Yutaka.” He looked up at Aoi, his soft brown eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you Yuu! Or Yutaka either.” He looked down at his hands in shame. Aoi started to speak, but Uruha looked up. “No. Don’t say anything until I’ve finished. It’s hard enough for me. I know you’ve loved Yutaka for a long time, and this is your golden opportunity now. I didn’t mean to spoil it. I’ll stand out of the way. I won’t try anything or cause a problem for you both. You deserve to be together after so long.” Uruha lay down and looked away, at the opposite wall.

Aoi looked at him and swallowed hard. Tears rose in his eyes. He wanted Kai, but he didn’t want to lose Uruha either. Uruha truly was made of something other than what he had first imagined. This was noble, but he couldn’t let go of Uruha. He looked at Kai for a long moment, and then walked over to the side of the bed that Uruha was laying on. He stooped down and put his hands around Uruha’s head and kissed him softly. “I don’t want you to step back Kouyou. I realize I love you too.” Uruha opened his eyes at Aoi’s touch. He smiled faintly at Aoi’s words.

Aoi climbed over Uruha and got in bed between the two men. He put his left hand on Uruha’s head, softly stroking the silky blond hair. He turned to Kai. “Yeah…umm.. so you say you love me now. You know then that I have had strong feelings for you for a year or so now.” He put his right hand out and gently stroked Kai’s soft delicate face. “I still do. I love you Yutaka. But that you love me back takes me by surprise. I had resigned myself to living without you returning my feelings. I had started giving you up in my heart. So.. I don’t really know how I feel about you right now. And I have started falling I love with Kouyou now too.” Aoi let his eyes linger on the deep brown liquid eyes of the young drummer.

He could feel Uruha take his left hand and start gently kissing it., snuggling it against his lips, his cheek. Kai looked at him steadily and small tears trickled down his cheeks. He slumped against Aoi’s shoulder and the dark haired guitarist put his arm around the younger man. “I.. I do love Akira. But I wanted to know what it felt like to have you love me.” Kai lifted his head up a fraction and looked at Aoi again. “I still want to know what it feels like.” Kai’s voice trembled “I’m worried now about Akira, his legs were hurt badly and he still loves me. I don’t know what to do. But I do know that I love you too Yuu. I want to see what it feels like to feel your love. Maybe then I’ll know what I think.”

Aoi softly touched both men and realized that he was hard again. He could feel Uruha’s beautiful naked body against his own, and he could feel Yutaka’s soft young skin as he clung to Aoi. He lay down confused. He took his hands away from both men, unsure of what to do about everything. What the fuck do you do when you have a raging hard on caused by both men lying next to you and you love them both? Maybe the best thing to do was to do nothing.

Kai snuggled up to Aoi and put his arms around the older man. “Don’t stop touching me Yuu. Is it fair that Kouyou got to make love to you tonight but I didn’t?” Kai’s lips were next to his at first, then on his. Aoi’s tongue slid inside Kai’s mouth almost by itself. He closed his eyes and held his breathe as his tongue explored the inside of Kai’s mouth. This was part of a dream he had had for over a year now but it was coming true. He kissed Kai passionately, fiercely. He realized that Uruha had stopped touching him, had pulled away. Part of his heart didn’t want to lose Uruha either. He reached around and felt for the blond man. He found a hand and grabbed it.

He squeezed Uruha’s hand tightly while continuing to kiss Kai. He felt Uruha cuddle up close to his back and put his arm around Aoi’s waist, kissing him softly and gently on the shoulder. Aoi felt the blood drain out of his head. His cock, already hard, started throbbing now. Erect fully and straining against Kai’s own hard erection. He felt Kai’s hands slide down his body and grab hold of his enraged hard on. Silky fingers softly caressed his swollen shaft. Aoi groaned softly as he continued to kiss the young drummer. His fingers slid over Kai’s ass, feeling and kneading the smooth, soft skin. Kai moaned and threw his head back. Aoi eagerly kissed his neck, his throat, his long tongue trailing over the delicate sweet skin.

Uruha continued kissing Aoi’s shoulder. He felt Uruha lick his skin gently, his neck, his ear, sending shivers down his spine. “I still love you too Yuu” he heard Uruha softly whisper into his ear. “I love you enough to share you.” Uruha slid his hand down Aoi’s back to his ass. Aoi could feel first one finger, then two enter his still moist hole. He felt the fingers pull out and the sounds of fumbling coming from behind. Sticky, freshly slimed fingers again entered his hole, and Uruha shoved something at him. “Use this” Uruha said. It was a bottle of mayonnaise. It was what Aoi had taken from the store today. “Use this on Yutaka. I used it before on you.”

Typical squeeze bottle mayonnaise. Aoi didn’t stop to think twice. He took the offering like a gift and turned Kai around on his other side. “Are you sure you want me?” bending over he whispered into Kai’s pink shell ear. “Hai. I want you. Fuck me Yuu. I can share you too. I don’t care. I just want you. Now!”

Aoi nodded to himself and squeezed some of the mayonnaise onto Kai’s ass. He rubbed it into the tight little hole and shoved his finger gently inside. The same way Uruha was now doing to him. One finger. Two. In and out. Slowly, then faster. Kai moaned louder. “Oh yes Yuu! Fuck me!” Aoi’s breathing was ragged. He stroked some of the mayonnaise over his hard cock and more on Kai’s ass. He could feel Uruha withdraw his fingers. Uruha’s breathing was also uneven, labored. He could feel the blond wrap his arms around his waist.

Aoi could feel Uruha‘s hard cock slowly and gently enter his ass, as he pushed his own cock deeply and smoothly into Kai’s ass. The dark haired guitarist paused and gasped. Never had he felt anything as strange and good as this!! The feeling of being filled from behind and at the same time filling someone else! He was being fucked as he fucked! Pure lust took over and a hiss of pleasure escaped his lips. Uruha cried out and started thrusting from behind as Kai gasped at the feeling of Aoi’s cock planted so deeply within him.

Animal lust. Pure instinct drove Aoi. Just like a stream seeks the path of least resistance, Aoi’s own passion drove him to thrust in and out of Kai, deeper faster, his rhythm matching the tempo and pace of Uruha’s. Without thinking, his mind swirling with the deep pleasure of the moment he fucked the man next to him as he himself was being fucked. Sounds of pleasure filled the room from all three men. Moaning, gasping sounds escaping from tightly clenched mouths. Suddenly Aoi knew that he couldn’t go on any longer. With all the fury of a tsunami, he erupted inside of the man he clung to. Torrents of hot sperm spilled from his body deep into Kai’s ass, deep inside his body. He thrashed and buckled and felt Uruha stiffen and cry out as a thick stream of hot sticky cum entered his own body.

He lay ridged for a moment, holding onto Kai, feeling Uruha cling to him. Slowly he came to his senses. His hand slowly stroking Kai’s soft body, feeling the sticky slickness of the younger man’s emission. He kissed Kai gently on the neck and then turned to Uruha. He took the blond man’s head in between his hands and kissed his lips for a long moment. The same warmness he had felt making love to Uruha before settled inside his heart. The feeling fluttered around inside his breast and formed a lump in his throat. “I do love you Kouyou” he whispered into Uruha’s ear softly so that only the blond could hear it. Kai was kissing his shoulder now.
He turned to the drummer. “How was it for you Yutaka?” he asked curiously. He realized now that although he loved the drummer, it wasn’t the same kind of love he felt for Uruha. He kissed Kai softly on the lips, almost apologetically. He drummer kissed him back tenderly and smiled. “I love you Yuu. I dreamed it would be as good as this.” Aoi swallowed nervously. What should he do now? He loved Yutaka still but it wasn’t the same love he felt for Uruha! Yet Kai seemed to think Aoi loved him the same. He kissed Kai again and put his arm around him. He put his other arm around the blond next to him. Both men cuddled up close to him.

How the hell did all this happen? All he wanted was simple love. He went from nothing to too much. Were they both expecting him to make love to them? At the same time? Hell of a day. Fuck. He had to close his eyes. He had cum three times tonight, and now his knee was starting to throb again as the whiskey buzz wore off and the fatigue of the day hit him full force. The warmth of the two men next to him lulled him into comfort. He closed his eyes. He remembered no more and passed into a dreamless sleep.

He woke up and couldn’t remember where he was. He had had a wild dream. Fucking both Uruha and Kai. He felt a tickling on his cheek. He cracked open his eyes and then immediately closed them again as a shaft of sunlight struck him in the eyes. His eyes slits, he looked at the source of the tickling. Uruha was kissing him lightly on the cheek and some of his long hair was trailing against Aoi’s nose. It wasn’t a dream. He smiled at Uruha, glad to see the beautiful face first thing in the morning. He pulled Uruha’s head down, closer, so that their lips touched. “Good morning beautiful.” Aoi said to the blond quietly. “So I guess all of this wasn’t a dream then.”

He felt his right arm pined down, Kai pressing against him tightly. Uruha leaned over the left side of Aoi and looked down at him. “So Yuu… What do we do.. where do we go from here?” Aoi pulled him down again and kissed him. “I really don’t know Kouyou.” Aoi looked for a moment at the still sleeping drummer, his jet black hair tousled over the pillow. So sweet and innocent looking. Just like Aoi had always dreamed…Uruha also looked at the drummer. “He loves you. He really does.” Aoi looked away from Kai and into Uruha’s eyes. He put his hand up to the blond’s face and softly stroked his jaw, his cheek. “We have a problem then. I’m falling in love with you Kouyou. I think we’re good together.” Uruha smiled. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for months now, but you wouldn’t listen.”

Aoi laughed softly. “Okay. I’m an idiot. And now I..we’re in the middle of a mess. I don’t want to hurt Yutaka. I still do have feelings for him.” He was silent for a moment. “I don’t want to hurt either of you. Do you want me to go away?” Uruha kissed him hard on the lips, letting his tongue tip slide gently inside for a moment before he pulled it out and said, “Don’t you dare leave me Yuu.” He brushed his lips gently across Aoi’s full mouth. “I would rather share you than lose you. I love you that much.” Aoi kissed the blond back and felt his cock spring to life. Uruha definitely had an affect on him! He smiled ruefully. He thought that much fucking last night would have worn him out for awhile, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. He felt more alive than ever.

He slid his hand down to Uruha’s ass. He wanted to fuck the beautiful blond. He wanted privacy though. He wanted to take his time and do it slowly, tenderly. He wanted to show Uruha how much he loved him back. Without Kai next to them. That was going to be impossible however. He continued to stroke Uruha’s ass, feeling his erection grow and swell even more. Uruha moaned softly as Aoi stroked him.

Just then, Aoi felt a rumble all around him. It sounded like a train. The walls vibrated and he could hear small things tinkle and crash. The bed started undulating. He grabbed Uruha and held him tightly, while also holding onto Kai. The small tidy bedroom wasn’t going to be spared this time, as items all around them fell and broke. A crack opened up in the ceiling and plaster dust rained down on them. He remembered the ceiling that had caved in in front of Reita’s apartment door. “Hold on!” Aoi shouted above the roar of the crashing, ripping noises. Aftershock time.

End Chapter 3

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [2/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T04:40:31Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 2/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha, Aoi x Kai[hinted at], Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: After the earthquake that destroys the Kanto Region Aoi and Kai go back with Uruha to his undamaged apartment, after Reita has been taken away to the hospital. Uruha declares his love for Aoi who is starting to be confused about who he really loves. SEX ensues.
Comments: This was written for anychan. I hope everyone also likes it. C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn*
*cough* This chapter is rather long also. I just can't seem to cut sex scenes and make them shorter! (笑)
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1

Formerly posted September 17, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 2

The beautiful blond guitarist smiled at them. He hadn’t gone unscathed from the earthquake despite his cheerful attitude. There was a long, deep scratch across his forehead and his clothes were torn and dirty. “I knew you would be here Yuu.” The blond said. “I came here to help. I got messages back from everyone but Aki and Yutaka too.” Uruha hesitated a moment. He looked at them “Takanori is in the south with Kyo. They went last night to a small romantic onsen in Kyoto. From what I have heard, everything’s okay there. Manager is okay, so it was just us to worry about. I knew you would come here Yuu, so I did too.”

Aoi looked at his feet in confusion as he remembered the previous night’s conversation between him and the beautiful blond. The advances. His stubborn rebuffs. He felt kind of ashamed that he had forgotten their Manager, while Uruha had remembered to check on him as well. He looked up and started to see Uruha in a new light, but Uruha was looking curiously at Kai. “Your apartment is okay?” Kai asked with excitement, oblivious to the situation between the other two men. “Yeah. My whole block is pretty good. Not much touched us for some reason. Uruha looked now at Aoi, who nodded his approval to the plan. “Okay. We go to your place then. For now.” “Only the bedroom is habitable though, but we’ll manage, won’t we?” Uruha asked with a sly smile at Aoi.

Aoi shook his head in wonder. No matter what happened around them, Uruha was still the same as ever, despite his heroic behavior in seeking them, well him out. Still the single track mind. “Umm…How did you get here?” Aoi mumbled to the blond. Uruha pulled them both away from the crowd of people and beckoned for them to follow him down the street. His gate was easy, relaxed. He was beautiful, Aoi mused, watching him. Kai shuffled wearily behind Uruha, his tears banished as he looked in amazement around. The drummer hadn’t fully realized the extent of the damage…that so many other people besides him and Reita had been stricken.

Aoi watched them both as he walked in the rear. Why had he come all this way and for what? Yeah…helping free Reita was the most important thing and it went without saying that he was glad he had been there to help. But….he looked at Kai again and it was like he was seeing him fresh again, without emotions clouding his vision. He scowled as he walked. He was confused, but also it was like his mind was clear at the same time. Everything he looked at, thought of seemed different to him now than it had just twelve hours ago. He loved Kai, had risked everything for Kai, but Kai cared only for Reita. That was painfully obvious. Meanwhile Uruha had risked himself to find Aoi. He could have stayed safe in his own apartment, but he hadn’t. Aoi just couldn’t think straight. There seemed to be much more to Uruha than he had thought. He had thought Uruha thought of him only as a daring sexual conquest, but…maybe something more was there that he couldn’t see.

They came to an abrupt halt in a small clearing behind some solitary and crumbled ruins of what had once been a grocery store. A smallish motorcycle was parked there. Uruha walked over to it and patted it fondly, smiling. “This got me here. It’s not mine, it belongs to one of my neighbor’s who is away in Korea on business now, so I ‘borrowed’ it. My need was greater than his and he won’t even know I’m using it.” Aoi felt his eyes pop out and his mouth go slack in shock. “You ‘borrowed it? How did you get the key.” Uruha laughed seeing the disbelieving face Aoi was making. “Yeah… I broke into his apartment and took the key. It’s really perfect. It can go places a car can’t.” Aoi shook his head, but smiled in spite of himself. Now that really showed perseverance and just plain old guts!

“So, okay…” Uruha climbed gracefully on the bike. “Who’s going with me first? I can only take one of you at a time.” Kai looked up sharply, plainly wanting to get away from here. Aoi nodded. “Take Yutaka first. He’s been though a lot today and should rest.” Uruha reached out to Aoi and gently stroked the side of his dusty face with his thumb. “Are you sure? I think you are the one who has been through a lot so far today.” His voice soft and gentle. Aoi smiled and shook his head. “I’m fine. Really I am” he added quickly at the look of disbelief on Uruha’s face. “Besides, I can go through the grocery store and see if there’s anything we might need. Soon it will be hard to get food and water…maybe it already is.”

Aoi helped Kai get on the bike and then adjusted Reita’s bass case on top of Kai’s lap. “Take good care of that Yutaka, for Aki.” Kai grabbed Uruha’s waist with one hand and held onto the bass with his other hand and nodded. “Thanks Yuu. You really saved us today. I…we, owe you everything.” He looked up to Aoi, his beautiful liquid brown eyes glowing with tears and something else… almost like hero worship. Aoi shook his head and smiled “You don’t owe me anything.” He didn’t want gratitude. “Oh. Take my pack too.” He adjusted it onto Uruha’s back. “There’s some food and water in there, but empty it and bring it back and we can fill it up with whatever I find in that store.” He gestured to the abandoned store over his back. He looked at Kai and Uruha like he might never see them again. He suddenly felt scared. What if something happened and he never saw them again?

Uruha seemed to guess his thoughts. He grabbed Aoi’s hand and squeezed it tight. “I’ll be back in about an hour, maybe more, maybe less. But I will be back for you Yuu.” The look in his beautiful eyes held the firm promise. Uruha looked down, gunned the motor and peeled out. Aoi stood there and watched the motorcycle recede until it and its two small riders were lost to the far distance, and then gone. Tears trickled down his cheeks as the warm breeze blew gently on him, ruffling up his long, soft hair. He dug in his pocket for his cigarettes, shook one out and lit it. He exhaled and sat down in the warm sunshine for a moment. His legs hurt. His back and neck hurt. He was deathly tired. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that he was in the peaceful countryside of home. Almost. No. He opened his eyes. This wasn’t peaceful and this wasn’t home. He took a deep drag of his cigarette. So much had happened today. Why was he so confused suddenly about his feelings? What was he feeling for Kai? For Uruha!? He shook his head, as if to clear all the unwanted thoughts away and finished smoking his cigarette.

Throwing his head back and stretching into the sun, he untangled his long legs and got up.
Taking his guitar, he walked into the rubble of the store. Soon others would be here and there would be fights for food. He looked quickly around and scooped up some medical supplies. Band-Aids, gauze, disinfectant… then some toilette paper and towels and some dried provisions and canned goods. He made a small pile and added more water bottles. He wanted cigarettes too…he looked behind the counter and grabbed several packs, leaving some yen on the counter. He had taken a lot and he didn’t want to steal… As he was almost out the door, he saw the big bottle of Suntory whiskey. That was good; they could take that instead of the disinfectant. And they could drink it too.

He carried his pile out to the small, sheltered clearing where Uruha had left him and waited. Soon it would be 90 minutes since the other two men had left him. He was just starting to get worried when he heard the rumble of a motorbike and looked up. Here was Uruha riding up and gliding to a stop, his long blond hair flowing gracefully behind him. Aoi stood up, waiting, secretly, surprisingly glad that he was last to go back with Uruha. Maybe they would talk.

Uruha slid off the bike in a single fluid motion. “Miss me?” he said and grinned. Aoi scowled. It was these sort of things the other guitarist said that ruined the happy small feeling that had been growing in Aoi’s heart for the other man. He acted so cocky! Like of course Aoi would fall to his knees for him. Aoi made a wry face. Ignoring the comment, Aoi grabbed the rucksack and started filling it with all the goods he had accumulated.

Uruha stepped closer, so close the two men were touching. He grabbed the back of Aoi’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. It was so sudden that Aoi didn’t have time to react. Uruha’s lips were soft and full on his. Moist. Demanding. Gently his tongue slid inside Aoi’s mouth, exploring, touching, tasting. Without realizing it, Aoi was kissing him back. Their tongues met and mingled. Softly at first and then probing deeper, harder. Aoi closed his eyes and let the kiss sweep him away. He felt Uruha’s hands sliding down his body, exploring, caressing softly and tenderly. Aoi’s hands, almost with their own will, were touching the younger man back. Aoi opened his eyes. NO. This wasn’t what he wanted! Or did he? In his confusion he broke the kiss and stepped away. He didn’t want to be a ‘conquest’ for anyone! He wanted love. And besides he loved Kai, didn’t he?

“I can’t…” Aoi faltered over the words. He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know what to say. He looked up into the soft brown eyes of the younger guitarist. If only they were the darker, warm brown eyes of the drummer. He sighed softly and started putting the supplies into the pack again.

Uruha looked at Aoi and then away. His eyes shiny with tears. “I’m not good enough for you am I?” he asked Aoi quietly. “Am I ‘damaged goods’ like all this shit around us?” Aoi looked at him speechless with amazement. Uruha hurriedly continued, unable to stop the flow of words. “Just because I have slept around, I’m no good now for you? Unlike Mr. Perfect Yutaka.” Tears and contempt filled his voice. Also something else. Desperation?

Aoi stepped closer to the blond and shook his head, concerned by Uruha’s abrupt change of behavior.. “No. It’s nothing like that.” Uruha looked at him, eyes wide open, trembling slightly. “I… I just thought you wanted me for sex, because we hadn’t…you know…done it together yet.” He finished lamely. “I want to be loved. I want to love and know that my love is returned.” He mumbled, his voice barely audible. He put his arm around Uruha’s shoulder. “Fuck it all. It’s been one hell of a horrible day for both of us. Maybe this isn’t the best time to talk about things between us.” He looked at Uruha and kissed him softly on the lips. “But I promise you we will sit down and talk about it.”

Uruha looked at him and nodded. He smiled faintly. All that bravado he had displayed earlier had been fake. A front to cover the scared feelings inside. If you looked brave, sometimes you felt braver. That was how he played life anyway. “Let me ask you Yuu, do you have any feelings for me? Do you still love Yutaka?” Aoi closed his eyes and thought for a long moment before answering. He opened them at last and looked at the blond. “I feel something for you Kouyou. I don’t know what it is, but I do feel something. And I respect you.” It wasn’t a lie. This whole day had shown Uruha in a new light to the dark haired man. He was still confused though. Confused and tired. “And Yutaka?” Uruha prompted. “Ahh… Yutaka loves Akira. I understand that now. Finally. He’s not mine and will never be. I have come to accept that today.”

Aoi looked away, not wanting to meet Uruha’s eyes. What he had said was true, but… he did still love the handsome dark haired drummer, even as he realized he was letting go of a dream. A beautiful, sweet dream of happiness. But the happiness wasn’t for him. Not with Yutaka. The feelings would take awhile to go away, but now he would help them to disappear and not linger on a false dream. The brutality of today had shown him the futility of that.

Uruha looked at Aoi happily and some of his bravado returned. “Come home with me Yuu. I’ll show you that you’re wrong about what you think I feel towards you. I’ve been trying to show you that for months now. You’ve been blind. It’s not the sex.” He smiled and the sunshine lit up his silky blond hair, turning it to the color of fire. The sun was setting. “Yeah. It’s going to be dark soon anyway.” Aoi said and climbed on the bike, taking the seat at the front. Uruha was crazy if he thought Aoi would quietly ride behind when he was the more experienced motorcycle driver. He even had a license, while Uruha none for bikes. “Come on! Let’s get going.” Aoi shouted and grabbed Uruha’s hand pulling him onto the seat behind himself. Uruha took Aoi’s guitar and put it across his lap. Aoi could feel a slim but strong arm wrap itself around his waist. It felt good. He put the bike into gear and took off. His dark hair streamed behind him as they tried to outrace the setting sun.

Aoi wanted to get back to Uruha’s place before dark. Before the drive became dangerous. As they neared Uruha’s neighborhood, Aoi could see the evidence of destruction lessen somewhat. The buildings still looked dusty and grim, the pavement still cracked here and there, but not nearly as bad as everything else he had seen today. He had another reason besides driving safety for wanting to get inside. Aftershocks were sure to come. Everyone knew that. Sometimes the aftershocks were stronger than the original quake. It was going to get worse and very soon.

“Here!” Uruha shouted above the roar of the wind. Aoi shifted down and coasted to a slow stop. “We have to take the bike with us or someone else will ‘borrow’ it.” Uruha said. Aoi nodded. That made sense. The simple low brick building looked solid enough. Maybe the low height had made it stronger. More able to withstand the violent tremors of the earth. They got off and Aoi helped Uruha hoist it up the few steps into the building. One floor only to go up. Aoi silently praised Uruha for his luck in getting such a simple apartment. Heaving and puffing they got the bike up the flight of stairs. Aoi leaned up against the wall panting. Uruha smiled at him and laughed. “See! You still smoke!” Aoi grimaced. Despite his lack of breath, now he wanted another cigarette. Uruha unlocked the door and let them in.

It was growing dark, and Aoi could barely make out the shapes of the room in the semi darkness. “We have to get to the bedroom. That’s the best room right now. Honestly. I wasn’t joking before” Uruha added. Aoi followed the sound of his voice, barely able to see anything. He scraped his injured knee against something sharp. “Fuck!” he yelled. “Oh, yeah… there’s a lot of broken, fallen stuff in here. I said the living room is damaged.” Suddenly a crack of pale light appeared before Aoi. Uruha had pushed open the bedroom door. It was filled with the gentle glow of candlelight. Yutaka had lit a candle in a peach colored votive glass in Uruha’s bedroom. It was casting a cheerful light on everything in the whole room.

Aoi glanced around. The room looked mostly undamaged. There was a small pile of debris, but it looked like Uruha had swept it all into one corner. The rest of the room was tidy, surprisingly so for the blond guitarist. Uruha must have read his mind. “I tidied up last night in case you changed your mind and wanted to come over. I didn’t want you to see a mess.” It touched him that Uruha had shown so much care about him, Aoi. “Umm… thank you.” He didn’t know what else to say. Yutaka was sleeping peacefully in the bed. His clothes were carelessly strewn on the floor. He looked like he had just collapsed out of a surfeit of emotion and exhaustion.

Quietly, not wanting to wake the drummer, the two men walked to the other side of the bed and put their things down. Aoi wished for a bath more than anything in the world, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. “The water…is there any?” he asked Uruha in a whisper. The blond simply shook his head. He got the bottle of whiskey out of the pack and cracked it open. “Take off your pants” he said to Aoi. The dark haired man’s mouth dropped open. Uruha grinned. “No. Your leg is injured. I have to clean it.” Aoi smiled and complied. He unzipped his pants and they slid down his lean, golden legs to the floor, where he kicked them aside. Uruha pushed him down so that now he was sitting on the bed and dropping to his knees, pulled his own tee shirt off. His smooth chest gleamed in the candlelight.

Aoi marveled again at the beautifully sculpted body kneeling so close in front of him. He felt a slight twitch in his crotch as his cock responded by getting slightly hard. Uncomfortably, Aoi tried to adjust it out of the way as Uruha busied himself splashing whiskey on the shirt. The blond dabbed the wound gently. “Ouch!” Aoi shouted as the slow burn of the whiskey touched his raw flesh. “Shhhh… you’ll wake him’ Uruha said, nodding at the still sleeping drummer. Aoi grinned and grabbed the bottle of whiskey. He took a swallow. It burned like rocket fuel, but in a good way. Uruha continued to clean the wound. “I think I got it pretty clean.” He said. He reached in the pack for the gauze and bound it around Aoi’s leg. It bled through a little, but then stopped.

Uruha grinned, took off his own pants and sat down next to the dark haired man. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a giant swallow. “Ahh! I needed that” he said wiping a trace from his full, soft lips. “Take that horrible dirty shirt off Yuu.” Uruha said pointing at the soot and stains of what might have even been blood. “I don’t want to sleep next to that shirt!” Grinning at the comedy of the situation, Aoi pulled the shirt over his head and threw it into the debris pile in the corner. He could feel Uruha’s eyes roaming his nearly nude body. He decided he didn’t care. Maybe it was the whiskey. He looked boldly back at the blond, who also had on only boxers. He took the whiskey back and took another swallow. Smiling, Uruha took it back again. They started to giggle. The bottle was nearly empty.

Aoi felt relaxed, peaceful. He lay back on the bed. Yutaka had one whole pillow, so he pulled the other under his head. “Hey! We have to share!” Uruha hissed, his face mockingly solemn. Grinning, Aoi adjust his head to half of the pillow, while Uruha blew out the candle and climbed in next to him. Aoi was wedged in between the two men. Yutaka, sleeping away on one side and Uruha very much awake on the other. Aoi felt Uruha settle his head on the other half of the pillow and move around restlessly. The blond head and the dark head were just millimeters away from each other.

He could feel the smooth nakedness of Yutaka on his left as Uruha brushed closer against him. He started to feel excitement making his cock hard. But he was confused. Who was making him hard? Yutaka or Uruha? Aoi felt Uruha’s lips brush gently against his own. The whiskey made his head cloudy and he could feel his body tremble with anticipation. He kissed Uruha back then broke off. “I don’t think this is such a good idea.” He said. “Oh really?” Uruha said as he slid his long moist tongue down Aoi’s jaw, over to his ear and down his neck. Every hair on Aoi’s body stood up and goose bumps formed on the skin of his arms and legs. His cock became engorged, rising sharply, hard and tight against his underwear. He knew that Uruha felt it though the thin, soft cotton of the boxers. They were too close together for him not to notice.

“Kouyou! Stop it.” Aoi said, louder than he wished. “Why? Because you like it?” Uruha answered back. The blond was right. Aoi did like it. It had been a full year since he had touched another man, made love to anyone, except in dreams. Aoi felt Uruha slide his hand under the cotton of the boxer shorts and touch his hard, enraged cock. “Ahhhhhhh…” Aoi gasped, against his will. “I don’t want to do anything here. Now. With…with someone else in the bed.” He spat out between clenched teeth. All the while he wanted Uruha to continue. He wanted to feel the softness of flesh against his own. He wanted to feel the simple, mindless grinding pleasure in fucking another man and being fucked in return. He was only human. It had been so long and now temptation was right here.

But Yutaka here! God! No! He couldn’t!

He felt Yutaka’s warm body resting against his back. He thought of what Yutaka and Akira had done together on the bed moments before the earthquake had hit. The stains of semen on the sheet. His mind was swirling. Intoxicated from whiskey, pleasure and fantasies. He realized that something hard was digging into his back. God! Yutaka was hard! He could feel Yutaka cuddle against him, the hardness of his cock pressing into Aoi’s back. “Kouyou! Is Yutaka asleep?” Aoi whispered. A sudden movement as Uruha leaned over, checking. Aoi didn’t dare turn around. Uruha settled back down next to Aoi. “Yes. He is.” Yutaka must be dreaming about Akira, Aoi thought.

Uruha kissed Aoi’s neck again, sending shivers all the way down his spine. “I am going to show you now that I don’t want anything for myself. That I’m thinking only of you. Like I have been doing all these months.” Uruha whispered into Aoi’s ear. “Maybe now you’ll believe in me.” Aoi felt his boxers slide off as Uruha wiggled down the bed, pulling them off as he went. He felt something warm, soft and tight envelope his erection. Small sucking sounds came from the middle of the bed as Uruha slid Aoi’s long, hard cock down his throat. “Kouyou!!” Aoi hissed in a single breath. He grabbed Uruha’s hair and hung on as he was enveloped in sheer pleasure.

Up and down Uruha moved his lips, sucking, nibbling from time to time on the long, hard, hot shaft. Aoi’s eyes were clenched together tightly. His breath came out raggedly. He was trying so hard not to make any noise and awaken the young drummer. This was real! Not a silly dream. Uruha was skilled and was making Aoi quickly lose all control over himself. The silky feel of Uruha’s lips were driving Aoi crazy. He wanted to thrash and turn and tear up the bed in his ecstasy. But he couldn’t! He daren’t. His body silent and still, Aoi’s mind seethed with red hot enjoyment. He could feel Yutaka move beside him as Kouyou paused to lick the soft skin under the head of Aoi’s hard cock. Aoi shivered uncontrollably. In his sleep, Yutaka rolled closer to Aoi and his erection pressed up against Aoi’s ass. This did it. Aoi let out a strangled cry and grabbed a hunk of Uruha’s hair, clutching him as he let loose a torrent of hot, sticky cum into the blond man’s mouth.

Panting heavily, Aoi gasped for air. The world was spinning wildly and stars appeared before his eyes. He lay there, quiet, drained. A sense of unreality settling over him. He had let Uruha suck him off while Yutaka was sleeping next to him. He would never have let this happen before today! He was sure of it! He felt Uruha slide up next to him again. A warmness fluttered inside his breast as he felt the beautiful blond settle next to him. He felt so good. Despite everything that had happened today. He hadn’t felt anything that good inside his heart in a long time. Uruha turned towards the dark haired guitarist and kissed him softly. “That was for you Yuu. I love you. I have for a long time.” Aoi was overcome. Nobody had said “I love you” to him in…years? He believed Kouyou. He wrapped his arms around the blond and kissed him back tenderly. “What about you Kouyou? That was amazing. It truly was. But I can feel your excitement is still unsatisfied.” It was true. Aoi could feel Uruha’s stiffness, his hard arousal. He touched it and put his hand around the shaft. He felt Uruha shiver at his touch.

“Do you want to relieve it?” Aoi asked. “I said I wanted only to please you tonight, to show you how much I truly care for you.” Uruha whispered back to him. “My pleasure means nothing to me.” Aoi continued sliding his hand up and down Uruha’s hard silky cock. How would that feel inside me? Aoi thought. He became hard again at the thought. He could feel Yutaka’s erect cock poking into his ass slightly and this was making him aroused again. He kissed Uruha. “Put it inside me. Fuck me. I want to feel you and I want you to have pleasure too.” He kissed Uruha on the eyes, the forehead, the lips. Was he falling in love with Uruha? Was he still in love with Yutaka? He realized that the answer to both was ‘yes’. “I don’t have any condoms.” Uruha whispered back to him. He wrapped his arms all the way around the blond guitarist and kissed him long, hard and passionately. “It’s okay. I want you anyway. Just do it. Just make love to me anyway. Please. I want you.”

He kissed Uruha one last time and rolled over carefully onto his other side. Now he was facing Yutaka. His cock was rapidly hardening and he could feel the drummer settle closer to him, making small moaning noises in his sleep. Lust and love made Aoi throw all caution to the wind though. He wanted to feel Uruha inside of him. Now. With Yutaka here beside him. He could feel Uruha wrap his strong beautiful, smooth arms tenderly around his waist. Something slimy and sticky entered his ass along with Uruha’s fingers. He didn’t even want to know what it was. Probably some food that they had brought in the pack. That felt good and he moaned softly. He felt a light kiss on his neck and some pressure as Uruha pushed his hard cock inside of Aoi’s ass. Aoi tightened automatically, but then relaxed as Uruha stopped. The blond slowly inched his way deeper inside, not wanting to hurt the dark haired man.

Slowly Aoi got used to the slight feeling of discomfort and fullness as Uruha’s big cock entered him. The temporary discomfort turned into pleasure as Uruha slowly thrust in and out of him. He could hear small sounds coming from the guitarist, and a minimum of movement. Aoi relaxed and started enjoying the feeling. Uruha was creating a smooth rhythm, they harmonized so well together, just like when they played guitar. He should have let Uruha into his life sooner. What a fool he had been! Aoi wanted to moan, but allowed himself only a small hiss of pleasure. He closed his eyes, allowing the wave of pleasure to engulf him and sweep him away. He heard Uruha whisper into his ear. “I really love you Yuu..” as he thrust harder and deeper.

In the midst of his delight, ready to come a second time, Aoi felt Yutaka stir next to him. He felt the slim drummer stretch and snuggle up closer to him. Yutaka’s head was so close to his, he could feel the drummer’s breath on his mouth. Then the breath came closer and gentle lips kissed him. “Yuu. I’m glad you’re here already. I’m sorry I slept. I’m so grateful you came for me today.” Through the haze of enjoyment, Aoi noticed that he hadn’t even mentioned Reita. “Will you hold me Yuu? Please? I want to feel you sleep next to me.” Aoi was ready to explode again, Uruha was ready to ejaculate up his ass and Yutaka wanted to cuddle! This couldn’t be happening to him! It was too surreal. This couldn’t be his life! He felt Yutaka snuggle his back into him, like spoons. He wrapped his arms around the drummer, his heart heaving in his breast, his cock ready to explode.
Behind him, Uruha was gripping him tightly, lost in his own world of pleasure. It happened so fast. Uruha groaned and a flood of hot sperm came flooding up Aoi’s ass. At the same time, Aoi moaned and his cock erupted all over Kai’s ass and the sheets.

Aoi and Uruha lay there panting, quietly, but unmistakably recovering from orgasms. Kai, who hadn’t quite fallen back asleep, turned and sat up. “What is this?” he said, dumfounded. “What’s going on? He pulled the cover off and felt his body. He pulled his hand away, slick with Aoi’s cum. Squinting in the darkness, he could just make out the bodies of the two men plastered together. Uruha pulled out of Aoi and moved slightly away. He lay there still, willing Kai to lay back down and shut up. Aoi turned to Kai and sat up. “Yutaka…I’m sorry…I.. we… well….” He finished lamely. What could he say? But why should he feel ashamed? He and Uruha were grown men and both single. Free to give their love. True, it was distasteful that they had done it in the same bed that Yutaka had been sleeping in, but, well… Aoi got annoyed. He had loved Kai all this time, knowing that Kai fucked Reita. A lot. What right did Kai have to get angry at him. He had saved himself wastefully for a year! On a dream that wasn’t real. For Yutaka!

“Yutaka. We’re really sorry. It was distasteful perhaps what we did, but we’re grown men. We are free to love whoever we want.” Aoi stopped. He heard Kai’s swift intake of breath. “But I thought you loved me?” he said. “Yutaka!” Aoi hesitated. He had never told Kai he loved him. How did he know? Why was this upsetting him so much? “Didn’t Kouyou tell you?” Kai demended. “Didn’t he tell you I broke up with Akira last night because I love you back? I’ve been secretly in love with you for months now!” Kai burst into tears.

End Chapter 2

Defective Tragedies of the Heart. [1/?] [Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha , Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Ruki x Kyo]

2007-12-12T02:49:33Z

Title: Defective Tragedies of the Heart
Chapters: 1/?
Author: miseichan
Genre: romance, catastrophe and graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Aoi x ?, Aoi x Uruha [hinted at], Aoi x Kai, Kai x Reita, Uruha x ?, Ruki x Kyo [hinted at so far]
Synopsis: A major earthquake has hit Tokyo. Aoi, desperately in love with Kai, goes to rescue him, although Kai is in a relationship with Reita.
Comments: This was written for anychan. I hope everyone also likes it. C & C are appreciated.^^
I own all the characters in this story. They are stuck in my head and chained to the spare bed in my guest room so I can watch.^^ The real men however are not mine....*Damn*
Please forgive the length of this 1st chapter. I just couldn't leave them until they were taken care of properly!

xposted at jrockyaoi

Formerly posted September 16, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Chapter 1

“Baby! Harder! Fuck me harder! Please!” Aoi closed his eyes and thrust himself deeper inside the slim dark haired drummer underneath him. Rougher and harder with every stroke. His heart was pounding inside his chest and the blood was rushing away from his head. He knew he couldn’t hold out much longer and by the small mewling and panting sounds coming from underneath him, neither could Kai.

The orgasm started rippling all down his body in hot waves as he continued thrusting his hard cock deeper into Kai’s tight, sweet ass.

“Harder…more…I want…I want…..” Kai’s voice trailed off as he let out a loud groan of pleasure that signaled he also was cuming.

“Oh Baby! Yeah! Now!.....I’m cuming in you…NOW!” Aoi screamed as a flood of hot semen exploded out of his red hot and swollen cock into the tight sweet body of his lover.
He bucked and arched as every sinew in his body suddenly tightened and went rigid. His eyes still closed, he laid his head against the sweaty, but now limp back of the young drummer.

“I love you baby.” He whispered into Kai’s ear as he kissed the sticky skin, brushing the damp hair aside. He lay there satiated; still, a small smile on his lips, his eyes closed as Kai turned to him and kissed his full lips. Their tongues met and mingled. Aoi kissed back with a ferocity that didn’t surprise him. Long he had loved Kai, but only recently had the younger man returned his love.

A quiet laugh escaped Kai’s lips. “Why is the bed still moving love?” Aoi returned to the present. Yeah? The bed was indeed moving. Undulating. The shaking became so bad he had to hold onto Kai with one hand and the side of the bed with the other to keep from sliding off. “You really DO rock my world love.” Kai said with a small smile.

Aoi opened his eyes. His tee shirt was bunched up, sweaty and there was a wet stickiness all over his legs, his now flaccid cock. He automatically stretched his arm to the side, but of course it was empty. Kai was with Reita. Kai never loved him. It was a foolish dream that Kai loved him instead. The bed was heaving from side to side though. He held on tight as he heard a loud crash coming from the living room. All the objects on his dresser were dancing, falling, toppling over the side to shatter on the floor.

His mind was frozen, but one word made it through to his conscience. Earthquake. We’re having an earthquake he thought. He heard a loud crash through the apartment wall and a woman screamed. Suddenly the world steadied itself and all external movement stopped. He lay there for a fraction of a second, still paralyzed, then he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up holding onto the nightstand to steady himself. He felt mildly dizzy and sick, but stood still and it passed. He vaguely remembered last night. Uruha calling yet again and pleading for Aoi to come over and spend the night. Aoi refusing yet again. Uruha wouldn’t believe that Aoi didn’t want anyone…anyone other than Kai that is. Uruha, who wouldn’t leave him alone until he conquered him sexually. Then blissful sleep. And the incredible dream.

Not lingering on the sweet sadness of his dream, Aoi grabbed the jeans lying on the floor next to the bed and his handset. Quickly he typed out a message that he sent to all the other members of the band and his best friend, Shin. “I’m okay. How r u?”
He quickly put his trousers and his socks and shoes on. He looked around, trying to assess the damage. The early morning light was streaming in through the windows, illuminating the shattered and cracked remnants around him. He whistled between his teeth. Pretty bad. The epicenter must have been close. He remembered the scream and went to the front door, wanting to check on the young girl that lived there by herself. A beep came from his pocket. Shin. “Im ok”. Then a second and third beep. Uruha. “All fine”. Ruki. A terse “OK” He tried Kai and Reita again. No answer. Ok. He thought. Just chill and wait. They are probably fine too. He stuck the handset back in his pocket and left the apartment.

The hallway was a mess. Sunlight from the end of the hallway was illuminating the dust in the air from the chunks of plaster that had ripped out of the ceiling. A long crack ran from one end of the hallway to the other. He knocked on the neighbor’s door. No answer. As he stood there, other tenets began to pour out of their apartments. “Hey!” He called to a group of men down the hall. Mr. Tanaka, the accountant looked up at his call. “There was a scream from this apartment. I think we need to get inside fast.” The tall middle-aged man nodded his head and a small group of men came up and working together, they all broke down the door. Aoi swiftly walked inside. He had heard the scream from his bedroom, so probably the girl was in her bedroom at the time.

The bedroom door had been wrenched off its hinge. They passed through and there was the girl, still lying in her bed. Quiet now. A dark red stain coloring the once all white sheets around where her head should be. A heavy set of shelving and many books lay now on top of the pillows, on top of the stain. Quickly the men moved aside the books and pieces of broken wood. Aoi put his head against her breast, not wanting to look at her face right now. “Hey! She’s still breathing.”, he called out. Somebody thrust him out of the way. He drifted to the back of the crowd, shaken up. Plenty of people were in the room now, including Dr. Matsumo, who lived across the hall from Aoi.

He fished out his phone again and tried calling first Reita’s number and then when there was no answer, Kai. The phone rang once, twice and then suddenly cut out. ‘searching for service’ scrolled across the screen. No phone. He went back to his apartment and tried the landline. No tone. Suddenly the lights went out. Electricity was gone. He ran to his laptop and booted it up. Working, but of course it was. It had a full charge. He clicked onto the internet. No service. No internet. As he stood dumbly looking at the dead screen, a man poked his head in and shouted out. “You have to leave now! The building is unstable and is being evacuated.”

Aoi looked up and the look on the man’s face, pure terror, galvanized him into action. He grabbed his keys, his wallet, cigarettes and lighter and stuffed them into his pocket with the dead handphone. The rucksack in the closet was filled with all the water bottles and dried and canned food he could find and a couple of extra tees. He tossed in the laptop. He would want it when internet service went back on. He slung it over his shoulder and grabbed his jacket and his Forrest. No way he was leaving it here. He calmly walked to the end of the hall and down the stairs with all the other refuge tenets of his building. He noticed many were bleeding from small head wounds and other cuts. He wondered what had happened to the girl. They had probably gotten her out first and to the hospital.

He walked out into the chilly dawn air of the street. Everywhere he looked something was broken, smashed. The smell of smoke was in the air. Fires always follow earthquakes he remembered. He heard a small child crying. The concrete was buckled and cracked in places beneath his feet. He walked to his car, his mind still on Kai. The drummer and the bassist were the only ones who hadn’t answered the text. He had to go and find Kai. He had to know that the younger man was alright. He found his car and got in. It looked unharmed. Of course he had no idea if the roads were drivable, but he had to get as far as he could. He would drive to Reita’s apartment. They were both sure to be there.

He took off, avoiding the gaping holes and cracks in the road. Very few cars were on the road. Was it because the earthquake had taken them all by surprise, stealing up on them in the pre-dawn of a Sunday morning? Or was the reason more sinister? Everywhere he drove he saw signs of devastation. Without realizing he had been crying, he felt wetness on his cheeks, dripping onto his thin cotton tee shirt. All the destruction to this magnificent city! What sorrow was sure to be creeping into so many families even now, as he drove to find the man he loved so much. His heart ached for all the people he didn’t even know. Still he didn’t stop. He didn’t dare. He had to find Kai! He knew in his heart that something was wrong. He felt tension rising inside his body where such a short time ago had been excitement and pleasure.

He was just 2 kilometers from Reita’s apartment when the road suddenly ended. The pavement was buckled in waves. Literally torn from its roots. Shattered and impassable. He heaved a silent sigh and pulled off to the side of the road. Getting out, he took all his possessions and locked the doors behind him. He would have to go on foot from here. The buildings all around him were broken and twisted. Like some giant baby had played with them, and then having a temper tantrum, tossed them aside. How much worse it was here then where he lived! He slung the pack over his back and held onto his guitar like a life-preserver. Like a mountain climber, he scaled the broken asphalt, crawling more than walking. Just when he thought he couldn’t go on still holding the guitar case, the road evened out somewhat, allowing him to walk carefully. He looked down in surprise as he felt something warm on his knee. His jeans were torn and blood was seeping through the ripped fabric. He looked at it carefully. Just a scratch. He hardly even felt it. It was nothing compared to the panic he was starting to feel rising within himself.

He walked on. He noticed the once handsome white limestone building on the corner, now reduced to rubble. That meant he was getting close. Reita’s apartment building was in the middle of the block. He went on, a growing feeling of trepidation gripping his heart. All along the block buildings were reduced to rubble, their graceful beauty now unrecognizable. People were clustered outside, some in their nightwear, some fully dressed. Many had bloody bandages, but with minor wounds. Many were crying. There was an emergency crew already in place, tending to injured people that couldn’t walk, or were seriously hurt. Thank God for the city efficiency! Aoi thought. He looked at his watch. How much time had passed since his foray into the new world? It was 10 am already. Surely it had been only 6 am when he started? 4 hours to get here when normally it took 30 minutes in a car?

He got to where Reita’s building used to be. Instead of a modern and imposing concrete apartment building, there was only a dusty pile of jumbled lumps. He could see that some intact apartments remained. Then whole south side of the building had sheered off. Reita lived on the north. Surely that was still alright? His heart beating wildly, he ran to the opposite side of the building and attempted to get inside. “Hey you!” a young emergency officer called out to him. “You can’t go in there! The building is unstable.” “But my friends are there. I have to get to them.” He prayed that the officer would take pity on him. No deal. The other man shook his head. “Have you gotten everyone out of there? This is them.” He pointed to Reita and Kai. “Please look?” He pulled out his wallet and showed the man a picture of the group taken backstage last month. He loved this picture because Kai was, unusually, by his side, his arm around the dark- haired guitarist. Aoi cherished this memory of closeness, physical closeness and happiness with the younger man. They both had big smiles on their faces as they looked at each other, not the camera, like they shared some special secret. Even though Kai had left moments later with the strong, blond guitarist, Aoi could pretend that Kai was his, could wish for it. The man looked at the picture and then at Aoi strangely. Maybe he recognized the group. He shook his head, but his voice softened as he said, “Where is the apartment you wish to go to?” Aoi gently put the picture back with trembling hands. His voice was shaking with emotion and the trauma of the day. “It’s on the north side. Help me please? I know they are there.”

The young emergency worker looked around and beckoned Aoi. “Come quietly. I’m not supposed to do this, but I will help you.” He led the way around to the back of the building. This side looked in much better shape than the rest of the building. “We just got here an hour ago and there have been many very badly injured people to attend to.” He said apologetically. They went though the gaping hole in the side of the building. The door area was unusable and blocked with debris. They picked their way through an abandoned and crumbling apartment until they got to the hallway. Walking over and around piles of loose concrete and plaster, they found the stairwell. This was surprisingly clear.

Up and up they climbed. Reita would have to live on the 9th floor!, thought Aoi. Panting slightly, they stopped at the ninth level and went through the door in to the hallway. Aoi ran up to the apartment door and dropping his guitar case, he pounded on it with all his strength. “Yutaka!!! Akira!!! Are you alright? Can you hear me?? Let me in!!” The other man came up to him. “Are you sure they are in there?” Aoi knew that they were. It was a feeling he had in his gut. “Yeah. They’re there.” “Okay” the other nodded “We’re going to have to break it down.” Aoi nodded in agreement. The man pulled out a fire ax from his supplies. He swung it at the lock, at the door jamb. Reluctantly, the door yielded and swung open, only to be stopped by a fallen pile of rubble.

“Yutaka! Akira! Can you hear me? It’s Yuu! Can you help us get in? There’s too much debris in the way.” Now he understood why perhaps Kai and Reita hadn’t been outside. Maybe they were trapped! Silence met their ears. Nothing. Suddenly, as Aoi was about to call out again, a small whimpering cry was heard. “Yuu!!!” it was Kai’s voice. Aoi almost realized he had been holding his breath and took a deep breath of relief. Kai was alive!! He corrected himself, they were alive. He couldn’t forget about Reita also. Scrabbling and crashing noises were heard against the door on the other side as debris was being moved away. “There’s too much! The ceiling is caved in above me!” Kai shouted through the crack of the door. Aoi and the other man were pushing with all of their strength. Was it his imagination, or was the gap becoming wider?

“It’s working Yutaka! Keep taking more stuff away!! Where’s Aki? Have him help you!” The voice on the other side of the door moaned. “He’s hurt Yuu! Badly too. He’s trapped in the bed. I can’t free him by myself..” Kai’s voice shook and stopped. “It happened… well… soon after we woke up.” Kai seemed to be hiding something from the guitarist. “Keep on working! We’ll help you! We’ll help you and Aki, I promise.” He ignored the evasion in the drummer’s voice. The main thing was to get inside fast. Slowly, working together, the three men got the door opened up enough for Aoi and the workman to slip through.

Aoi felt something fly though the air and wrap itself around him. Kai was holding him tightly with his strong arms. Burying his dark head on Aoi’s shoulder he said quietly, “I’m so so glad you’ve come. This is a nightmare. I thought I was dreaming. You are real aren’t you?” Aoi wanted to prolong this tender moment, but Akira needed help now. He disengaged himself from the drummer. Kai’s face was covered with dust and streaked with tears. Aoi hugged him quickly. “I’m real. We’re going to help you now Yutaka.” Kai nodded and led them back to the remains of the bedroom.

This room had suffered the most damage. Full sunlight was now coming into the room, shining on patches of debris everywhere. In the center of the room was the bed. A gigantic queen sized bed. Reita lay in the middle of it. He was nude, but for a sheet that Kai had probably covered him with. The sheet didn’t quite hide the stains of why they had been up when the earthquake hit. Aoi felt his face color at the thought. He quickly looked away from them and at the unconscious blond man. “He’s alive…”Kai said tearfully. “He was awake for awhile, but I think the pain was too much..” The drummer bit his trembling lip to obviously keep from crying. Aoi and the emergency worker went quickly up to him. “I couldn’t get it off of him…and I couldn’t get out.” Kai’s voice shook. They looked more closely and saw that among the rubble laying across the bed was the massive antique wardrobe Reita had bought last year. He stored his most treasured things it in. This was now laying across the blond bassist’s legs, pinning him to the bed. Kai couldn’t have moved this by himself.

“We have to do it together” the emergency worker said to the other men. Aoi nodded. He had already been through so much today to get here. Now this was what he had come to do. All three men positioned themselves at the head of the wardrobe. “At the count of three!...one, two, three!” The men pushed together with all their might. Aoi felt his muscles straining and perspiration running down his back at the effort. Slowly an with great effort they lifted the wardrobe together.

Kai ran to Reita’s side. The blond man stirred and opened his eyes. His mouth moved but no sound came out. Aoi went to his pack and got out a precious bottle of water and held it up to Kai, for Reita. Kai unscrewed it and let some of the warm liquid dribble into Reita’s mouth. Reita smiled faintly and closed his eyes again. The emergency worker got on his walkie-talkie and asked for a stretcher. Aoi turned to the unknown man. “Thank you. Thank you for everything. You have a big heart.” The man looked at Aoi and shook his head. “No. it’s what I do. You are the one that had faith that they were here.”

Through the door came a team of medics to take Reita away. Aoi turned to Kai. “Grab everything you can now. We might not be allowed back in.” Kai nodded and took their possessions. Aoi stuffed these small things into his rucksack. Kai took Reita’s prized bass and put it in a case. Miraculously it was unscathed. “Let’s go.” Aoi said. They followed the workers down to the street. The original worker turned to Aoi. “My name is Hiroki. Here’s my card if you need any more help.” “Thanks. I’m Yuu….but you knew that already I guess…” He took out a cigarette. He was tired. One hell of a morning and it wasn’t over yet. He lit it and exhaled the fragrant, much needed smoke. He offered one to Hiroki, who declined. “I still have lots of work to do. Do you have somewhere to go for tonight? You and your friend of course?” Aoi shook his head. Hiroki smiled. He was handsome Aoi decided. He hadn’t really looked at him until now. “No… I can’t go back to my building. I’m not sure where we’ll go.” “You can stay at my place…if you don’t have an objection that is? I’m …….single.” He said with a laugh.

Aoi smiled back. “Maybe we will do that, but I really don’t know now.” Hiroki smiled. “Think about it and if you need someplace, well, I put my address on the back of the card. Just come over, anytime..” Aoi smiled and shook his hand. Hiroki held onto it just a fraction of a second longer than was necessary, then released it. He walked away, glancing back just once, then he was gone, swallowed up in the crowds of people. Aoi looked around for Kai, who had stayed by Reita’s side. There he was, arguing with some men. “NO! I want to stay with him” he heard Kai’s rising voice as he approached. Now finished with his cigarette, he threw it onto the dirty, cracked pavement.

“What’s going on here?” Aoi asked. Kai turned to him. They have a helicopter coming for the wounded to take them to the hospital. They won’t let me go too.” he sobbed. Aoi touched his shoulder lightly. “You have to understand. They probably need the space for all the injured people Yutaka.” . A sudden blast of displaced air swirled around them and they knew that the helicopter had arrived, even before they looked. The moment for parting had come for Kai and over come with emotion he bent down and held Reita tenderly, stroking his hair. “I don’t want to leave you. They are making me go. But you’ll be aright and we will go to the hospital as soon as we can.” Reita smiled at them both. “I’m in good hands” he said sleepily. He had already been given painkillers and wanted only to sleep now. Blissful, pain free sleep. Men came and took Reita and lifted him into the helicopter. One of the men turned to Aoi. “It will be impossible to follow him you know. Most of the Kanto region has been destroyed. It’s worse than you think. We are taking everyone to other regions. This helicopter will go to Osaka.” He climbed in after Reita, leaving both Aoi and Kai speechless.

Slowly they walked backward from the helicopter as it prepared to take off. Aoi felt the drummer take his hand and squeeze it tightly. “It’ll be okay Yutaka.” Aoi said with a cheerfulness he really didn’t feel inside. But Kai needed to hear it. He squeezed the hand within his tightly back. Kai turned to him. “Where are we going to stay?” “With me of course!” a voice behind them said. Aoi turned, unbelieving, at the familiar voice. “Kouyou!!” “In the flesh!” The beautiful blond guitarist smiled at them.

End Chapter 1

A Smile in the Morning [oneshot/Kai x Aoi]

2007-12-12T02:18:26Z

Title: A Smile in the Morning.
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: humor, graphic sex.
Warnings: man sex.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Kai x Aoi
Band: Gazette
Synopsis: Aoi is grouchy in the mornings and hard to rouse, so Kai comes up with a strategy to put a little smile on Aoi's face^^
Comments: I have the same problem as Aoi!!! LOL.. This story grew out of an idea that came from a convo between me and arlequin. She wondered what it would take to put a smile on Aoi's face in the morning as he is well known for being a morning grouch^^. Specifically she wondered what Kai would have to do!! :D So this story is for her.

Umm... I know I promised never to post my fan fics in my personal journal, but I just don't feel like posting this 4 times... So consider it here as a temporary holding place until I create another home for my stories... If you do not like yaoi...please pass it by... :)

xposted everywhere...spamming your flist...sorry...

Formerly posted December 4, 2007 at miseichan

A Smile in the Morning

Kai cracked his eyes open, awakened by the insistent and annoying bell of the alarm clock. He quickly threw his arm over his eyes and shut them against the brilliant beam of sunlight that had escaped through the corner of the window blind and caressed his face. He turned away from the window, towards the warmth of the man lying next to him and moved his arm away from his face, opening his eyes again slowly. Yeah. This was better. Umm..except that alarm was still ringing in the background. Sighing, he sat up and shut it off, hitting it so hard it skidded across the nightstand and almost fell off onto the tatami mat covered floor.

He rubbed his hands through his hair, making it stand up at funny angles and wiped the sleepy things from his eyes. Another day. Time to get up. He looked at his handsome dark haired lover, sleeping so peacefully, blissfully unaware the alarm had even rung at all! Kai knew he certainly wasn’t the best at getting up, but if he left it up to Aoi they would sleep right through practice!

Moving in closer to the older man, Kai leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Aoi’s cheek. The guitarist was turned away from Kai, facing the dark corner of the wall, covers pulled tightly around his face so that only half of his face was even visible; a tightly shut eye, a small piece of nose and cheek. His long dark hair was fanned out against the white pillow. No reaction to the kiss. Kai kissed Aoi again, a bit harder this time.

“Aghhhhhhhhh!” The sleeping man pulled the sheets even higher, obscuring even more of his face, snuggling deeper into his cocoon. Kai kissed his ear. “Go away! I’m sleeping” Aoi croaked out in his guttural early morning voice. The slim drummer laughed quietly to himself. Usually kissing Aoi on the ear got him quite a different reaction than this! It was a sensitive spot and he could usually count on a sexier response from the guitarist. Just last night this same kiss on the ear had resulted in over two hours of continual lovemaking! However this was morning and that was night. Morning was not the best time for Aoi, to say the least.

Kai smiled to himself and got out of bed, pulling a thin cotton robe over his naked body. He felt very much awake and alive now, in contrast to his sleepy and very grouchy lover. Last night’s intense bout of lovemaking followed by a short but tender conversation and then a great night sleep had done wonders to rejuvenate him. He looked back at his sleeping partner and smiled before closing the door and padding lightly down the hallway to the small but tidy kitchen. It was tidy because no one but Kai ever used it. Aoi didn’t cook much and left it up to Kai to make everything when he stayed over, unless they ordered out.

Pulling the coffee out of the freezer, the young drummer measured out enough for a large, strong pot of coffee. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and took a vitamin from the large bottle on the counter as he waited for the coffee to brew. He gulped the juice down thirstily and refilled the glass. Soon the delicious aroma of coffee filled the small apartment. This was sure to do the trick Kai thought to himself! He poured a steamy mug full of the dark, fragrant liquid and smiled to himself. Aoi was sure to wake up once he smelled this right under his nose!

He had a secret weapon though that he thought had been a pretty clever idea on his part. He always had such trouble getting Aoi to wake up. The older man did nothing but grumble and complain in the morning. He always refused to get up, and when he did he dragged his feet, making them both late more than once. Then he would sit in stony silence, grimly smoking and alternately drinking his coffee, staring glumly into space and acting crabby and grouchy for the better part of the morning. Kai was tired of it. He didn’t like to get up, but once he was up, he was fine. He had racked his brain to find a way to change Aoi’s pattern of behavior in the mornings so that they could both have an enjoyable start. Aoi was such a loving and lovely man, but mornings were hell for Kai!

Kai decided to set the alarm one hour earlier than usual, and not tell Aoi. He would make the coffee and bring it into him while he was still in bed. He congratulated himself on coming up with this plan. It was bound to work!

Still smiling, Kai took the coffee and set off back down the hall towards the bedroom. He quietly opened the bedroom door and slipped in with the coffee. He set the mug down on the nightstand then crawled into the bed and over top of the sleeping man. He grabbed the mug and held it carefully down close to Aoi’s nose. Careful because he didn’t want to burn his lover with the steamy liquid! He just wanted to wake him up. He waited a moment. Slowly A nose poked out of the tightly wrapped sheet. Then part of a lip. An eye cracked open, slitted against the early morning sun.

“’Morning love.” Kai said gently. He leaned back to allow Aoi room to pull the covers down. The long haired man slowly slid up in bed and worked his arm out of the sheet. Without a word he grabbed the coffee and drank a big mouthful of it. Both eyes were open now. Still holding the mug in a death grip, Aoi sat up and leaned against the wall, pillow behind his back, Kai still straddling his hips. Kai leaned down and kissed him. To his surprise Aoi kissed him back with passion and smiled a small little sleepy smile.

Kai’s thin robe was parted as he sat on top of Aoi and he realized that he had a large erection. Early morning happiness. Kai leaned over and kissed Aoi again, harder, thrusting his tongue delicately through the other man’s full lips. Aoi’s tongue touched his. He opened his mouth wider, his long, moist, pink tongue going deeper for a fuller, more passionate kiss. He could now feel Aoi’s erection swelling underneath him, under the covers. He wrapped his arms around the older man, running his hands gently up and down the naked, smooth skin, so warm under his sensitive fingers. The heat of the mug in Aoi’s hand bumped him abruptly, making him pull back, afraid to get burned.

Sheepishly, Aoi took another big gulp of coffee and then set it down on the nightstand, pulling Kai closer in towards him. The guitarist moved the covers back and undid the tie fastening Kai’s robe making it magically fall away. Kai snuggled in under the covers, his naked skin directly on top of Aoi’s warm bare skin. The drummer was still perched on top of the older man, leaning in for another kiss. He put his hands in Aoi’s long soft hair, holding his face as he kissed him deeply and passionately again. He could feel Aoi touch his hard and painfully erect cock. “Ahh… That feels good.” The drummer whispered into Aoi’s ear, now licking and biting it gently. He could feel the guitarist shiver with delight under him.

Kai reached down and stroked Aoi’s hard erection, making the older man quiver even more. “Please..I want you…” Aoi’s raspy whisper pleaded into Kai’s ear. The younger man smiled and sat up, still stroking Aoi’s hard cock. “So…” he drawled, “you’re awake now?” He slid down Aoi’s body and licked the tip of the guitarist’s hard cock, fondling the shaft, putting pressure around the base of the cock so Aoi wouldn’t be tempted to come just yet. “Drink the rest of your coffee love while I have some fun down here with you.” Aoi smiled, genuinely this time and picked up his mug. “I want some cream with my coffee Yutaka.” Kai laughed and slid Aoi’s hard shaft into his mouth, working his tongue around the cock as he slid it in and out of his mouth, sucking loudly.

He could hear Aoi groan loudly with pleasure and he knew the time was ripe. He tasted the sweet, salty precum starting to seep out of the tip of Aoi’s cock as he sucked. Pulling it out of his mouth, he licked the rest of the pearly liquid off the tip. He parted Aoi’s legs and placed them on his shoulders as he reached across to the nightstand and took the tube of lubricant off of the top where it had rested since the night before. Squeezing a generous amount of gel onto his fingers he rubbed it into Aoi’s ass and into the tight hole. The rest went onto his own hard and throbbing cock.

Gently putting the tip of his erection into the entrance to Aoi’s ass, Kai pushed gently until he was deeply buried inside the other man’s sweet ass. He paused a moment to give the older man time to adjust and then he started thrusting, slowly and evenly. Smoothly in and out. Heaven! Aoi was making strangled noises of pleasure as he lay under the drummer. Kai’s breath was becoming ragged from exertion and pleasure. He pulled himself almost out and then slammed in again, hard enough to make Aoi cry out with delight. Faster now, picking up the tempo. Like a song. Harder he thrust himself, moaning, looking at his lover though slitted eyes. Aoi was whimpering with pleasure under him now. Faster, harder. More. The end was coming. He couldn’t keep it up. His body was glistening with sweat.

Suddenly it was over as his cock erupted, filling Aoi with hot, sticky cum. He lifted his head and cried out loudly, his body growing taut as his muscles contracted in pleasure. His cum was spurting out in waves as he collapsed onto Aoi, who came a moment later. The guitarist grabbed Kai and held onto him tightly as his own cock shot out a stream of pearly liquid. The two men lay there panting, holding each other tightly. Both sticky, sweaty and happy. Kai leaned over and kissed the older man gently, tenderly. “Now I know what wakes you up so well.” He said smiling. “What?” Aoi was smiling now too. No more Mr.Grumpy. “You just like a little cream with your coffee.” Both men laughed and kissed each other. A new day had started. With a smile this time.

The end^^

The Jacket [Oneshot/Uruha x Reita]

2007-12-12T02:05:34Z

Title: The Jacket
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: fluffy angst, drama
Warnings: workplace safe
Rating: PG
Pairings: Uruha x Reita, Ruki
Synopsis: Uruha and Reita have broken up and it’s all because of a green skull jacket. Can Uruha fix everything and get Reita back?
Comments: This was written for shoshomiki. I am sorry babe it took me so long!!! This story is based on an actual event. Does anyone remember the interview where Reita complained that Uruha wouldn’t go out with him because he was wearing the green skull jacket that Uruha hated? I have a picu of it somewhere too.. I will find it and post it later. As always C & C are appreciated and loved <3. Thank you^^ Not beta read. The characters in this story are all mine. The real men are, obviously, not^^

Formerly posted October 31, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

The Jacket

A tall blond man stood in the bathroom nervously brushing his hair. For the fourth time in ten minutes. He checked his blouse again in the mirror’s reflection and straightened the collar, yet again. He looked at his watch. It was 10 am already! Where was Ruki? He turned off the light to the bathroom, ready to walk out when he heard the sound of the intercom bell. He ran to the hallway and pressed the buzzer that would release the door downstairs to let his friend in. He grabbed his jacket and wallet and walked out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him. He met Ruki half way. The smaller man walking upstairs as he was coming down.

Ruki looked up frowning. “No time Takanori! I’m afraid we won’t have enough time! You were supposed to be here a half hour ago!” Uruha put his jacket on and grabbed the shorter man, steering him back down the stairs. The tall guitarist turned up his collar, put his sunglasses on and opened the front apartment door. “I wish you would calm down about this.” The vocalist said quietly, calmly. “I can’t. I just can’t!” Uruha answered him. “I haven’t slept or been able to eat.” He turned to his friend while they were walking. “You know how hard this has been on me! I have to find a way to fix this. I can’t stand it that I’ve lost him!” Uruha turned back to the street and put his head down. Tears gathered in his eyes underneath the big sunglasses. They continued to walk in silence.

Ruki put his hand out and touched Uruhas arm lightly. He felt for his friend and did know how hard it was for him. “I still don’t understand why you need me to help you though?” Uruha answered in almost a whisper, as if the act of just speaking used too much energy, was too hard. “You know all the right places to go. I have to find it today!” He sped up now, walking faster along the street. They would take the train to the shopping areas. The station entrance loomed ahead and Uruha took out his wallet, got his pass ready. Ruki reached for his wallet, but Uruha put up his hand to stop him. “No Takanori, I’ll pay for today.” Ruki sighed, it wasn’t really such a big deal, but he knew how overwrought the blond was, so he let it go.

They got on the train and rode in silence until Ruki got up to signal that this was their stop. The both got off and walked out into the sunshine. Trendy little colorful boutiques lined the street. Ruki made his way confidently down the sidewalk and Uruha quickly followed him. The vocalist stopped abruptly at the entrance to one shop in particular. The windows were crowded with heavy black clothes, studded with silver. Very visual and cutting edge. “Are you sure that this place will have it?” Uruha asked. Ruki turned to him as they went through the door, a grimace on his face. “No. But we have to start somewhere, ne?” He shook his head and walked into the dark little shop. The door closed heavily behind them.

A salesman, dressed all in black with numerous tattoos appeared and bowed to them. “And what would be your pleasure gentlemen? How may I help you?” Uruha took the initiative. “I’m looking for a special type of jacket. Green with skulls embellished on the chest. Do you have anything like that?” The salesman thought for a moment. “Umm… I have some nice jackets with skulls embroidered on them, but in black or silver…here…allow me to show you.” Uruha shook his head. “NO! It has to be green! Army green only.” Uruha shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. That’s not what I want.” He turned to get Ruki and leave. Ruki had wandered over to a small rack of shirts and was intently examining a blouse in silver with hand worked scroll embroidery also in silver. Uruha nudged him “Come on. Lets go. They don’t have it.” Ruki put the shirt back. “These are really nice though…he said wistfully.” Obviously he would have liked the chance to stay and shop but Uruha was impatient and pulled him out through he door.

“Take me to the next place. Now!” The blond said, putting his sunglasses back on. He shouldn’t have taken them off. He was sure his eyes were all red and puffy from crying all night. “Look, Shima. Are you even sure that if you happen to find the jacket that he would take you back and cancel his date for tonight with Kai? Uruha was stricken with pain. He turned to Ruki and looked at him reproachfully. Ruki had said the name of his rival. He sighed, stifling tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes again. “No Takanori. No. I am not sure of anything, I just know that I have to try. I don’t know what else to do!” They walked along the street and Uruha thought about what he had done to cause it all.

He and Reita had been lovers for years now. As is the way with lovers as time goes by, Uruha had become critical about certain things that displeased him about the other man. He had been picky about Reita’s appearance and wardrobe. About other habits as well. They were all small things and really shouldn’t have mattered in the great scheme of it all, but Uruha had continued to pick, to nag. One item in particular had become a source of trouble. Reita had a green skull jacket that he simply loved. Uruha hated it though and had gone so far as to refuse to go out with him whenever Reita was wearing it. Last week Uruha had secretly taken the jacket and given it away to a used clothing facility. Reita had found it missing the same night and demanded to know where it was. They had argued bitterly and Reita had packed his things and moved out, disgusted with what Uruha had done.

Uruha’s heart broke with shame at the thought of how petty he had been. He realized how bad his behavior had been, not just over the jacket, but everything. Reita had loved that jacket! Why oh why had he just given it away? Now that he had been alone for a week he realized that it was the man that counted, not what he wore! It was Reita he missed. The soft touch of his lover in the night, the feel of those strong arms that held him so tenderly, but so securely, the laughter and the sharing. The love. Most of all he missed having the knowledge of unconditional, total love. His heart broke freshly every time he thought about it. He couldn’t live without Reita. God! He had acted so selfishly! He would do anything to have Reita back, to be able to show his love again for the sweet blond bassist! A small crystalline tear slid down his cheek.

He had called the clothing facility where he had donated the jacket, but to no avail. Someone had come in and already purchased it. It was gone. The best he could do was to try and find a replacement jacket. Then he found out from Aoi yesterday that Reita had asked Kai to go out on a date tonight with him! Aoi had been a little pissed because he had a crush on the cute dark haired drummer but hadn’t had the nerve to ask him out yet. Uruha was beside himself. If Reita went out on a date with Kai, most likely he would also try to sleep with him. Uruha knew how strong Reita’s urges were, that was one of the things they shared. If he slept with Kai, Uruha would lose Reita forever. The sweet bassist was also so romantic and wouldn’t leave someone he had made love to easily. The guitarist was lost in sadness, in melancholy. He simply had to find a jacket like the one he had so rashly given away. Maybe it would make Reita realize just how sorry he was, How much wanted to try and mend their relationship.

Uruha and Ruki spent the day going shop to shop. To no avail. Their feet were starting to hurt and Ruki had run out of places to search. The vocalist looked at his watch. It was late now and it was starting to get dark. Soon the shops would all be closing and Reita would be on his date with Kai. He nudged the blond beside him. “It’s 17:00 now. You tried your best Shima, but it’s not fated to be. Just try to talk to him. Let him have his fun and his space and then talk to him reasonably. Maybe it’s better like this, eh?” Uruha shook his head. “NO! Just one more place. Please?” Ruki shook his head. “I don’t have anywhere else to take you! It’s over Shima. Let’s go back.”

He started to walk back to the train station. Uruha followed, unwillingly. He was beside himself with frustration, self-loathing, pain. His fingers curled into fists, knuckles white, pearly white teeth biting down on his soft, full, red lip, drawing a bead of blood. All to keep from bursting out in tears. His chest was hollow, an empty place where his heart used to be. He felt as if he would burst apart with his pain. He walked with his head down, not looking where he was going, until he bumped into Ruki who was a few paces ahead of him. “Gomen.” He said looking up. “I wasn’t looking.” “No shit. I can see that.” Ruki said, but not unkindly. Uruha looked at the shops on the street. They were going back to the train station a different way than they had come. The shops weren’t as upscale here. They were dingy, rather seedy looking, sad places. Uruha spotted a small store, piles of clothing in the window, heaped haphazardly. “Can we look there. Please Takanori? I will be quick. I promise.” He could see that the owner was getting ready to close. He ran to the shop entrance without waiting for an answer form his friend.

“Gomen. I see you are closing but can I come in quickly?” The shop owner also had a tired, defeated look to himself, just like his store. “I’m closing now. Come back Monday.” “Please it will only take a moment.” The owner looked at him and nodded. “Alright. Business hasn’t been so good today anyway. Make sure you buy something.” He called after Uruha who had darted away to look at a large, dusty pile of clothing heaped on a table in the back. These seemed to be all jackets. Uruha didn’t know why but felt an electric tingling in his hands. Please, he prayed silently, let me find something, His hands flipped over the clothing, some of it smelling strong, unwashed, like death even. He didn’t want to ask where these things came from. Maybe if you shopped here, you were just glad to be able to have something warm on your back. He felt guilty wearing his expensive designer clothing and looking through this heap of clothing from cast off, worthless lives.

He was searching so fast he almost missed it. But there it was. Unmistakable. It was the jacket! Not just a look alike! There on the cuff was the fray that Reita had got while they were out last year at the lake. And there on the sleeve was the burn from the party at Aoi’s that Reita tried to patch himself. That’s how much he had loved this jacket. He could have afforded any other jacket easily, but he loved this one. Uruha picked up the jacket and held it to his body. He buried his head in it and cried, quietly. He loved the man that loved this jacket. He loved him more than anything else in the whole world. He wanted him back more than anything in the whole world. His life had no meaning without Reita. Without his sweet, gentle lover.

The shop owner came up behind Uruha and tapped him on the shoulder. “I want to close now. You want that jacket?” Uruha looked up and nodded his head. “I do. More than anything else I have ever wanted.” The shop owner squinted his eyes and shook his head. This young man was sure a funny customer! He scratched his ear. “Give me 3000 Yen for it then.” Uruha shook his head. “No. But I will give you 12,000 Yen for it.” He pulled out his wallet and peeled off the notes. The man was confused but accepted them gratefully.

Uruha took the jacket and started to walk out of the store, but stopped before he got out. It was late. He wouldn’t have time to go home and wrap it up before he took it over to Reita’s temporary house. He had to go directly to Reita’s now, or risk missing him before he went out on his date. He turned to the old man. “Do you have any paper and a pen I can use? It’s important.”, he added when the man looked at him funny. He man shrugged his shoulders and went behind an old desk and pulled out a dirty scrap of paper and an old ballpoint pen. Uruha bent down and wrote a note across it quickly and then handed the old man back his pen. He grimaced thinking what a beautiful card he had purchased just in case, that lay on his kitchen countertop, waiting for this moment. He said thank you, bowed and walked out of the store.

Ruki was standing outside smoking. He hadn’t wanted to catch anything going into that dirty store. He looked up as the beautiful blond stepped out triumphantly holding the jacket. “You got it? That’s it? I don’t believe it!” Ruki threw away his cigarette and shook his head. Maybe there was some luck in this world! “I need to take this to Akira’s right now. Will you go with me?” Ruki shook his head. “Just because you found the jacket doesn’t mean he’ll come back to you, you know.” Uruha nodded. “I know that, but I can’t believe that fate allowed me to find the jacket and would deny me Akira’s love and forgiveness. Anyway. I have to believe it, I choose to believe it.” He held his head high.

Ruki shook his head again. “Okay. But you are on your own now. I’ve done enough here. Ciao babe.” He walked off to the train station smiling at Uruha’s “thank you” from behind him. Uruha walked back the other way. He would take a cab. It would be faster. He got to the busier street and flagged down a passing cab, got in and told the driver where to go. He sat back, hugging the jacket and the note to his chest the whole ride over. The cab pulled up in front of a nice apartment building after a few minutes and Uruha asked the driver to wait for him. He got out and ran to the door. He buzzed the apartment, waiting anxiously. What is nobody was home? What if he was too late?

No one answered, so he buzzed another apartment. A random stranger. Whoever he had buzzed, buzzed him back in and he opened the door quickly. He ran up to the second floor, back apartment. This was supposed to be where Reita was staying now, although he had never, obviously visited it. He saw light coming from under the door and heard music. So Reita was still there after all. He knocked loudly and lay the jacket at the foot of the door, the note carefully tucked inside the breast. He heard footsteps and ran back down the stairs, flew to the door and out to the cab. He got in and leaned back, breathing heavily. He didn’t see the shadow in the doorway of the apartment watching him in the cab.

Uruha gave the driver directions to his apartment and sat back, waiting, feeling empty. Should he have stayed? Confronted Reita? Pleaded with him? He had been scared, too scared to talk to Reita. He just wanted the other man to read his note and decide. He felt like it was now out of his hands somehow. It belonged to fate. This didn’t ease the panic in his heart, but it made him feel calmer somehow inside. He sat quietly, waiting for the driver to bring him home.

The cab pulled up to the building and Uruha paid and got out. He walked slowly up to the entrance and let himself in. two flights of stairs and he was at his own door. He looked at the door as he unlocked it. It had been their door. Their home for three years now. He opened the door onto the dark room. He switched on the light and threw his jacket across the chair. Making his way into the kitchen, he glanced around him. All the things they had accumulated together crowded around him. He got a bottle of sake out of the cupboard and poured a large cup full, not even bothering to heat it. He had been drinking too much this whole week. He knew he had to stop. He put the cup down and walked back into the living room. He hadn’t slept in their bed all week. He could barely bring himself to go into the bedroom for clothes. There were just too many memories there.

He threw himself on the couch and sat there in silence, just one small light on beside him. The minutes stretched out. He dozed off. A sharp rap on the door brought him to his senses. He shook his head and looked at the clock. It was almost 20:00. He had slept for awhile. He was confused. He hadn’t been expecting anyone to come over. Gracefully he got up from the couch and crossed to the door. He opened it and there stood the handsome blond bassist. Wearing his beloved green jacket.

Uruha froze for a moment, unsure of what to say, knuckles white on the door handle. This was it. For better or worse and now he was so frightened inside. “um.. You got it…” he faltered for a moment and then went on. “I thought you were busy tonight? Reita looked at him silently for a long awkward moment. Please don’t just say thank you and good bye! Please! Uruha prayed. The bassist stuck his hands in his pockets.” No.” he said softly “I’m not busy tonight, but I could be.” He added cryptically. He shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “umm.. can I come in? We need to talk.” Uruha nodded his head numbly. “Please. Please come in.”

Uruha moved to the side, allowing the bassist to walk in. Reita started forward and then stopped. They were almost touching. He looked at Uruha. “Did you really mean what you said in your note?” Uruha nodded his head. “I did Aki. I really did. I love you more than anything in the whole world and I would do anything not to lose you forever. I have been so stupid. I am so sorry.” He lowered his head. Reita stepped closer to the beautiful blond. He rubbed his fingers across Uruha’s jaw and lifted his head up so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. He bent towards the taller man and kissed him lightly on the lips. Uruha wrapped his arms around the older man, like he always had. They fit together so well. He felt Reita’s strong arms wrap around his body. The bassist broke off the kiss and taking Uruha by the hand, drew him into the apartment, shutting the door behind them.

The end.

http://img508.imageshack.us/my.php?image=uruhasnotevt7.jpg
Uruha's note to Reita ^ XD

Night of the Dead [One shot/Kai x Aoi]

2007-12-12T01:45:49Z

Title: Night of the Dead
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: angst, death, suicide
Warnings: workplace safe
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Aoi x Kai
Synopsis: Aoi is dead and Kai must go on. What will he see on All Hallow’s Eve?
Comments: My dark little entry for Halloween. (^,,,^) As always C & C are appreciated and loved <3. Thank you^^ Not beta read. The characters in this story are all mine. The real men are, obviously, not^^

xposted everywhere

Formerly posted October 29, 2007 at jrockyaoi

Night of the Dead

Kai walked down the dark street, hands in his pockets. A sharp, cold gust of wind kicked up, blowing his unfastened jacket open, exposing him to the cold air. He should have cared. He was wearing only a tee shirt under the thin jacket, but he didn’t feel the cold. He barely felt anything these days. Not mundane things like heat, cold, hunger, sleep. All he could feel was the sharp empty pang of desire. Longing. Unsatiated, unfulfilled. Never to be filled. Never to be satisfied. Not sexual desire, but the hollow emptiness that comes when one whom we love is gone, but we still want, crave that person in our lives. Gone forever. Never to return. Not ever. Not even with a miracle.

Kai kicked the fallen leaves that got in his way. Almost playfully, except he had no heart for playing anymore. Aoi had been dead for six months now and still he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that when his phone rang, the soft, sweet voice of his lover wasn’t going to be teasing him on the other end. Couldn’t believe that when he walked home and through the door, Aoi wasn’t going to be standing there, ready to take his coat, to kiss him, to hold him, to love him.

The band had broken up. Of course. Nobody could stand to replace the sweet, funny and sexy rhythm guitarist, so they had all opted to disband. It was less painful than seeing a stranger standing stage left, trying to fit in, to fill those big shoes. A lump rose in Kai’s throat, helping him choke back tears. The lump was his companion now. It was almost always there. Helping him get though the day. Still sometimes like this, in the dead of the night, alone, the tears still came.

It had happened in the late morning, a Wednesday, on the way to another radio interview with Ruki. The driver was good, but he couldn’t have known that the truck in front of him was going to jackknife suddenly on the slippery, wet road. The driver had paid for his ignorance. He was also dead. Ruki and the manager were the only ones that survived. Lucky. Yeah. Four weeks in the hospital for Ruki. A crushed pelvis, broken ribs and a ruptured spleen. Manager was more fortunate. Only one leg broken and a concussion.

They said it was fast. They said he must not even have felt anything. He had been sitting in the front seat, turned towards Ruki who was in the back seat. No seatbelt. Deep in earnest conversation with Ruki. About Kai. At least that was what Kai felt it must have been. Ruki had refused to tell him what their last conversation had been about. He said it would only make Kai feel worse. Couldn’t he understand that not knowing was what made Kai feel worse. His imagination conjured up all the horrible things that Aoi could have been saying to Ruki about Kai, and rightly so.

They were only supposed to be gone for two days. One night. Kai had changed his mind about coming over to spend Tuesday night with Aoi. After all, he would see him Thursday. No big deal. So he had promised to come over. So he had broken his promise. Aoi had been angry. He had waited up for Kai. The younger man had fallen asleep at home, tired after a long day of practice. Instead of picking up a few items of clothing and heading over to Aoi’s, like they had planned, he had just decided to lay down and rest without phoning Aoi to tell him. Aoi had messaged him that morning. The morning he left, saying how hurt he was. How disappointed that Kai couldn’t even remember to call or say goodbye. Kai still had the text message. The last message he had ever or would ever receive from his lover.

The others still kept in touch with him, of course. They had gone off to do other things. Uruha and Reita had just opened a trendy new bar, Ruki had his own clothing and accessory label and had some pretty good deals for upscale distribution lined up. Kai had always wanted to open a nice restaurant. It’s what he should be doing instead of wasting his days aimlessly. Brooding over the past. He and Aoi had always planned to do it together though and Kai just couldn’t bring himself to do it alone…it felt like cheating. Like he would be betraying Aoi somehow to do it alone. It was their dream. Aoi was the one with the head for business and arranging practical matters. Aoi was the one who had had faith the Kai could do it and be successful. Aoi had been the one with the wings. Kai’s biggest fan, biggest supporter. Now Aoi was in heaven, Kai supposed, with real wings. But it didn’t do Kai any good. He hated heaven for taking Aoi away. He hated God and fate.

Why couldn’t he change time and take back just that one last night they had been apart? Why couldn’t he hold Aoi one last time? Why did his last memory have to be of how he had so bitterly disappointed and hurt Aoi, instead of being there for him, sleeping next to him, making love to him. Damnit! Why? A small tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek. He walked in he dark, continuing to kick the ugly, dead leaves out of his way. He hated anything dead. It was October. The 31st to be exact. There were lots of dead things this time of year. Like his soul.

It was All Hallows Eve. Samhain. The festival of the dead. He had looked it up online. It was a special time, according to the ancient western pagans. The only time of the year when dead souls could come back to earth for one night. One night alone out of the whole year. That was what the carved pumpkins were for. Not decoration. The scary carved faces were meant to frighten the spirits that walked the earth for a single night away from your doorstep and keep you safe and snuggly in your home. Kai didn’t want to frighten the spirits away. He wanted to go and meet one. He wanted to see Aoi.

Everyday that he went out, which was not so often anymore, he saw Aoi. Well okay. Maybe not Aoi, but always someone that looked like it could be Aoi. Here!! Now! There was a group of young men walking towards Kai. They could have been around twenty maybe. Dangerous looking and handsome. Laughing and singing. Nudging each other as they walked. Drunk obviously. Maybe come from a Halloween party, or going to yet another one. The one at the back. Longish dark hair covering one eye, full red lips smiling at something his companion was saying. Leather jacket. Looking sure of himself, hooking his arm inside his handsome companion’s arm, walking so close there was no space between their bodies. Kai stopped walking and just stared at him. The group walked by, staring curiously at the man who had stopped to look at them as they walked. “Hey Uncle!” one of the men in the front called out. “You see something you like? He’s already taken!” They all laughed and kept walking, making little jeering noises at Kai. Kai just stood there until they passed, their laughter fading into the darkness.

It wasn’t Aoi. It couldn’t have been. If it was Aoi, he would have stopped and run up to Kai to hug him, kiss him tenderly, hold him. Aoi could never stay angry at him. Not really. Aoi had loved him. Aoi had promised to stay with him forever and ever. Hot tears spilled out of his eyes. They got past the lump in his throat. They ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his coat. Kai didn’t even bother wiping them away. More would come any way. He put his head down and continued walking.

He was going to the cemetery. Alone. In the dark. Aoi’s parent’s had taken the body and of course had it cremated, as was the proper thing to do. Kai hadn’t even gotten to see his body. His bandmates and Aoi’s parents hadn’t permitted it. They had said it would be better to remember him the way he was. No matter how many tears Kai had shed, no matter how many violent tantrums he had thrown, the answer was always no. “It’s for your own good” they said. “You really wouldn’t recognize him this way.” One thing he had done. He had gone to Aoi’s parents and begged them for just a few of his ashes. Just a few. He had cried, pleaded, begged and although they thought it was strange, in the end they had granted his wish.

The ashes had been given to him in a small lacquered box. When he looked inside all he could see was a fine sprinkling of shiny dust. He didn’t dare to breath for fear that they would vanish forever into the air. He had purchased a small plot and had them enshrined with a plaque. This is where he also planned to have his own ashes interred one day. This way they could be together forever truly. Uruha and Reita had fought with him about this, scared that he was planning to take his own life. Maybe he was thinking this, but he hadn’t wanted to do it right then. Not until he had tasted the bitterness of being alone to the fullest. Now seemed like the right time though. All was dark and dead around him. He had nothing to look forward to. Only memories to look back on.

It seemed appropriate that tonight was the night of the dead. He didn’t really believe that Aoi’s spirit would be out tonight, roaming the earth. He wasn’t crazy enough for that, yet. But soon he would be. Better to go and meet Aoi now. As a spirit himself. That way they could be together again. He did believe in that.

He could see the cemetery ahead. The white marble stones shining in the fullness of the moon, gleaming in the dark. He picked his way slowly through they stones. He knew just where to go. He went slowly. There was no need to hurry. He had all the time in the world now. He had eternity. It was so quiet here in the dark. Peaceful. It felt right. He knew he was doing the right thing. Already his soul felt lighter. He saw their stone and walked up to it. He bowed deeply, knelt and spoke his thoughts out loud. To the wind. To the moon.

“Yuu. I’m here now. For you. To be with you. Finally. At last. Forever. Please forgive me for what I did those months ago. If I had known it would have been our last night together, I would have been there. I would have made love to you all night. Held you all night. I would never have let you go. I would never have let you go on that tour with Takanori. I would have never let you out of my grasp.” Kai stopped. The hot tears were splashing onto the pearly white marble stone, making dark puddles in the moonlight. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t speak. He reached out and clutched the marble stone, his fingers clawing into it. His body twisted with the pain that was seeping out of his heart. His face hollow with misery. Dry wracking sobs were coming out of his mouth. His body was shaking. This was the end of the world. For him.

He held his breath and the sobs slowed down a little. He relaxed his hold on the headstone and straightened his body. Eyes closed, he started to breath deeply, slowly gaining control over himself once more. He needed a steady hand. Kai reached into his jacket and brought out a shiny steel blade. Not big, just big enough to do the job. Sharp. He wanted it to be quick. He wasn’t afraid of the pain, he just wanted to join his lover as soon as possible. He took off his jacket. The cold wouldn’t matter to him very soon and his arms were exposed. It would be easier this way. “I’m sorry Yuu. Please forgive me. Please let us be together very soon. Come and get me. Guard me. Stay with me forever. Please.”

A shaft of moonlight caught him in the eyes making a fuzzy halo in front of him. The halo spread and condensed until it looked like the shape of a man. The shape glided over to the headstone and hovered there, a pearly suspension in the moonlight. The wind whistled through the trees, shaking the dry dead leaves, making them dance and sing. “Why are you doing this Yutaka?” a voice asked him. It sounded like the wind. “Yuu? Is that you?” Again the dead leaves on the trees rustled and sighed. It sounded like a human sigh. “I asked you why you are doing this Yutaka. You don’t need this. You can have a full and happy life.” “I can’t! Not alone. Not without you! I have nothing, nothing! You’re gone and you took my soul with you!”

Shiny tears slid down his cheeks once more. The wind blew on his face, drying the tears. It was almost comforting. He looked at the pearly mist, but he couldn’t see properly. Again the wind sighed. It blew against his body and surrounded it. It felt warm. It made him feel sleepy. “Do you have me in your heart?” “Yes. Every minute of every day I hold you in my heart Yuu.” “Then I am not gone. I am still with you. You still have something to live for Yutaka. Do you remember our dream?” Kai nodded his head. “I remember.” The leaves rustled. “Then why haven’t you fulfilled it? For me.” Kai shook his head. His whole body was trembling. Not with fear. He felt safe, cherished, loved. “I didn’t want to do it without you. It means nothing without you.” “Do I mean so little to you Yutaka?” “No Yuu! You mean everything to me!” The trees shook softly, it sounded like laughter. “Then do it for me. Live for me. Keep me in your heart. We will be together later, I promise.”

A dry leaf swirled up and stuck to his chest, right where his heart was. “Do you want to know what Takanori and I spoke about right before …it happened?” Kai clutched the leaf and held it between his hands, like he was praying. He nodded his head. “Yes Yuu.” The wind sighed. “I told him our dream about the restaurant. I told him how good it would be. How brilliant you were. I told him what I was going to buy you for your birthday.” Kai looked up. “You didn’t talk about how angry you were with me? About how I had disappointed you?” Again the sound of laughter from the trees. “No. I love you. No matter what. I always loved you. I love you now. My anger meant nothing compared to my love.” Kai bent his head and cried softly. The wind grew less strong. The moonlight grew dimmer as a small passing cloud scudded over it, darkening the silvery beams. The wind blew through the trees one last time making the leaves rustle, but softly. “Keep me in your heart Yutaka, don’t forget me…..I love you…..”

Kai looked up. The sky was black now with only the small points of twinkly diamond light that were the stars. The breeze had stopped. All was quiet and warm. He wiped his eyes and dropped the knife onto the ground. Standing slowly, he picked up his jacket and zipped it tight. Still holding onto the leaf, he turned and started to walk home.
The end.

A Cold Rain [oneshot/Aoi x Kai]

2007-12-12T01:23:18Z

Title: A Cold Rain
Chapters: oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: angst, romance
Warnings: workplace safe
Rating: PG
Pairings: Aoi x Kai
Synopsis: How can a cat help Aoi and Kai? Is everything what it seems to be?
Comments: This is much more fluffy and sweet than you may be used to from me, but the idea came to me suddenly and it wouldn't go away. As always C & C are appreciated and loved <3. Thank you^^ Not beta read. The characters in this story are all mine. The real men are, obviously, not^^

xposted everywhere...spamming your flist...oops.

Formerly posted October 28, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

A Cold Rain

Aoi heard the sound of a key in the lock, heard the door click open. He sat at his computer, his back to the door pretending very hard not to hear, but the rigid set of his shoulders gave him away. Miyu was purring in his lap and he was stroking her, a little rougher then usual, his fingers trembling slightly. The beautiful black and white cat looked up at him with her big green eyes. She could tell that he was not peaceful inside, that something was wrong. He wasn’t looking back at her, talking sweetly to her as he usually did. She dug her claws into his leg lightly to try and get his attention, but with no result.

“Yuu! Still working so late?” Kai’s voice came up from behind, closer and closer. He was standing right behind Aoi now, but the dark haired guitarist didn’t answer, didn’t turn around. Kai put his hand on Aoi’s shoulder and stoked it lightly, reaching up to play with his long hair. Aoi was afraid to say anything. Was afraid his voice would betray his anger, his fear, his sadness. Kai bent down and kissed the top of his head. He could feel Aoi’s whole body trembling and could see that he wasn’t really doing anything on the computer. Aoi had not changed the page the whole time Kai had been there, and it wasn’t like there was much on the page… “Okay. What is it this time?” The drummer said quietly. Lately Aoi had been angry at him for everything. The younger man sighed loudly. This was getting old now.

“You left without me. You didn’t even say anything.” Aoi’s voice was quiet, but if you listened closely, you could hear the shaky desperation in his tone. Kai chose to ignore that. He walked around to the desk and sat down on it, right in front of Aoi so the older man would be forced to look at him. He put his hands around the older man’s face and bent down to kiss him. Aoi pulled away. A tiny tear slid down his face. “You aren’t going to even say anything, are you? You aren’t even going to try to explain.” Aoi looked down at the cat now, stroking her tenderly. A small tear droplet fell from his eye onto her fur. She licked it away.

“You promised to give me a ride home. You said we would go together. After I finished packing my guitars away I looked for you but you were gone. Takanori told me you just got up and walked out after practice. That was five hours ago. We were going to have dinner together. What happened? Where did you go?” Kai sighed and looked at the ceiling, then back down to the older man. Aoi still wouldn’t look at him. “So did you eat?” Kai asked him, ignoring the question. Aoi shook his head. “I can make you something if you want me to.” Aoi shook his head again. “I’m not hungry.” “Hey! You have to eat something! I don’t want you to get sick.” Aoi looked up at him. “Do you even really care?” he asked bitterly. “What a stupid question.” Kai shook his head.

The younger man drummed his fingers on the table. He was waiting for Aoi to say something pleasant for a change. He was getting tired of all this negativity. “So. You made it home alright I see, so what’s the problem? I said I would make something for you to eat. I came over. I’m here. I don’t see why you have to make such a big deal over everything lately.” Aoi looked up and all the sadness he felt was suddenly buried under his rage. Kai wouldn’t answer any of his questions. Kai didn’t even seem to care that how he was acting was hurtful. He didn’t seem to care that he was causing Aoi pain. “Shima gave me a ride home, if you care. And you are five hours late. I tried to text you, but you never answered, and you won’t even tell me where you were or why you have been acting this way lately. It’s not just today. You have been doing these things for weeks now. You don’t text or call me. You don’t answer my calls or texts. You say you will show up but then don’t.”

Aoi shook his head, disgusted with everything, still not looking at the younger man. He wanted to have it out. He wanted to talk about it and fix it, but at the same time, he knew that Kai didn’t want to discuss anything with him. He was afraid if he pushed Kai he would lose him, lose what little they had left. But he couldn’t live like this anymore, pretending that everything was all right when it wasn’t. How could it be when Kai was acting like this, pretending nothing was wrong, not bothering to answer any questions. Aoi was sick in his heart. He hadn’t been eating, or sleeping. He put his head down to the cat and held her. This was all he had lately. Miyu. She cuddled him every night when Kai wasn’t there and even when he was.

She was almost a year old now. Kai had picked her out for him at the beginning of their relationship, to commemorate their first date. She had been so tiny then, so sweet and friendly. Ready to give love and happy to receive it. All black with a patch of white over her right eye and down her chest. Their eyepatch girl. She was so visual looking they both had laughed about it. Both Aoi and Kai spoiled her and loved her. Kai slept over most nights and had many of his things here, so Miyu took it for granted that both men would take care of her and love her. Kai had been absent though for a few nights and Miyu missed him. She wriggled out of Aoi’s grasp and put her nose up to Kai’s hand, begging to be petted by him too.

The drummer laughed and picked her up, holding her out so their eyes were at the same level. He kissed her sweetly on the nose, then held her in his arms, stroking her head. She purred loudly, happy to be in Kai’s arms once more. “See! She at least is happy to see me and doesn’t make a big fuss. She trusts that I love her, unlike some stupid human in this room.” Kai looked Aoi. “Look at me.” He was getting sick of this. Aoi looked up sharply at the commanding tone in Kai’s voice then turned his head away again quickly. Kai grabbed his jaw and turned it to face him. Aoi felt the soft, cool but strong fingers holding his face. “Why can’t you trust me? Why do you have to make such a big deal about everything?”

Aoi wrenched his face out of Kai’s fingers and stood up. “Trust you?” He was so angry he couldn’t think of any words. His brain was seething with speechless hurt. “You ignore me, leave me, never give me any explanation. I have no idea what you are doing. You break promises to me, we haven’t even slept together in days. I have asked you to move in with me and you never give me an answer. I don’t know what you want anymore. I don’t know what I can do. I don’t even know if you love me any more!” Aoi’s voice rose to a higher pitch. “We are falling apart and I don’t know what to do or how to stop it! You won’t even talk to me!”

He walked across the room and grabbed his cigarettes. He lit one and inhaled deeply. He felt like he was losing his mind. He couldn’t take this anymore. He was losing his best friend and his lover and he was powerless to stop it. And Kai was pretending it wasn’t happening. “Just leave. Just leave now.” he said what he didn’t mean in a small voice as he smoked. He was confused inside. He felt a quiet calm. He had said it. He had pushed it. He wanted Kai to say something. To explain, to apologize, anything, but at the same time he was afraid he had gone too far this time and Kai would really leave.

Aoi heard Kai’s sudden intake of breath. He heard Miyu jump to the floor, her large paws making a clump sound as she landed on the tatami. He heard Kai walk to the door and put his shoes on. This isn’t what he wanted! This was all wrong! Why didn’t Kai say ‘No, I’m not leaving because I love you. Let’s talk.’ ? Aoi turned towards the door, tears spilling out of his eyes, disbelief written on his face. Kai was just going to walk out. Just like that.

The young drummer opened the door and turned back to Aoi. “This is shit you know. You are supposed to trust me. I thought our relationship was more solid than this. I don’t need this.” Aoi stared at him speechless, all the things in his heart crowding to get out of his mouth. ’I love you don’t leave me. Why do you hurt me and say nothing. I don’t want to be without you. Why do you act like you don’t care?’. Nothing would come out. Nothing. His heart was crowded with words but his lips were empty. They stood there for a heartbeat just looking at each other. Two heart beats, three. A second and an eternity.

Miyu streaked out the door. “Miyu! No!!!!!!” Aoi ran to the door to catch her but it was too late, she was out the door and down the hall. He grabbed his shoes and ran after her. He heard the apartment door slam, and Kai was right behind him. Miyu ran right down the hall and towards the front door. She was fast. Aoi was a whole hall length behind her, Kai right beside him. The older man could see the front door open as Mrs. Matsumata walked in from her late shift job, a load of groceries in her arm. “No!” Aoi shouted. Before the word was out of his mouth, Miyu had disappeared out the front door and into the dark street.

Both men ran to the door. Aoi was desperate! He couldn’t lose Miyu and his lover both in one night! Fate couldn’t be this cruel to him. He turned to Kai. “It’s your fault! It’s all your fault!” He knew he was being unfair and that this wasn’t really true. Kai hadn’t done it on purpose and he knew it, but he needed to vent his anger and he was angry at Kai anyway, his heart overloaded with pain. Aoi turned to walk out the door. Kai grabbed his arm. “Yuu… it’s freezing outside and you don’t have a coat. Let me go and look.” Aoi shrugged out of his grasp and turned towards him. His eyes were narrowed, his face twisted in a grimace of disgust and pain. “Let me go. You’re leaving us anyway. You don’t care about me. You don’t care about her. Leave me alone.”

He walked out the door, leaving Kai standing there. He didn’t care anymore. His heart was wracked with pain, but he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was find his cat. She was all he had left in the world. She was the only one that loved him now. He needed her. She needed him. She had never been outside before ever! He was scared that she would get hit by a car. There was so much traffic on his busy little street. He started walking. Walking and calling. It was late now, pitch black and raining. It was colder than most nights for this time of year. Late October. The rain felt like little stinging icy needles, driving through his clothes, hair, into his skin. It was bringing the last of the colored leaves down, making the sidewalks slippery.

On and on he walked, calling, calling. “Miyu? Kitty?” He stopped to look under cars, in between alleyways, into courtyards. He lost track of the time. It could have been minutes or hours. He was soaked through to the skin. The warm tears trickled down his face, washed away by the cold rain. He was in an unfamiliar neighborhood now. It was deserted, quiet. An old temple loomed in front of him. Not a soul in sight. Aoi walked up to the shrine and stopped. A sudden peace swept over him. He was bone tired. He was so cold he couldn’t feel his skin, his feet anymore. He walked up to the bell and swung it, clapped his hands and bowed, a small prayer in his heart. Please let Miyu be safe. Please let me find her. I don’t care about myself anymore. Just let me find her, please. He raised his head, the water dripping off of the long strands of hair and into his eyes. He brushed them away.

Suddenly he heard a tiny sound. It was coming from behind the shrine. “Mew” Could it be? “Miyu?” he called and walked over, behind the bell. There she was. Hunched over into a ball. The rain had soaked her fur, making her appear smaller and tinier than her usual fat, fluffy self. Aoi bent down and scooped her up in his arms. He rolled the hem of his wet shirt up and curled it around her and buried his face in her wet fur as he cradled her in his arms, like a baby. He kissed her over and over again. “You scared me Miyu. You really did. I was so afraid I would never see you again.” He cuddled her close, just standing there, grateful in his heart. Nothing else mattered now. All his anger, pain and frustration had vanished. He was only tired now. Tired and cold. Cold all the way through his bones. So grateful though that he forgot to feel cold.

He walked back to the temple and dug out his wallet. He took all the money he had out of it and dropped it on the deck by the bell. He would do more later, tomorrow, but for now, that was his best. Slowly he turned around and started to walk back home. He had never seen this part of town so he didn’t even know how far away they were. He just walked. Miyu was happy. She was purring loudly against him. He could feel her little heart beating against his and the warmth of her body against his own. He was grateful. At least he still had her. Even if he had lost everything else.

On and on they walked in the darkness, the rain coming down harder now, stinging his eyes and making it hard to see. He noticed lights behind them. Car headlights. They got brighter as the car got slowly closer. Suddenly the car was right next to him. He looked over in time to see Kai roll the window down. “Yuu. I’ve been looking everywhere for you all night! It scared me I couldn’t find you. Get in the car. Please.” “Why do you care? Why do you want to help me?” Kai sighed loudly. “Look! I don’t want to argue with you walking outside in this cold rain! Get In The CAR! NOW!”

Aoi walked around the car, clutching Miyu nervously. Kai leaned over and opened the door for him and he climbed in, moving some papers out of the way that had been in the seat. He settled himself in the seat and closed the door, scared to say anything, still holding the papers, unsure of where to put them. Kai blasted the hot air, angling the vents at Aoi and Miyu. “I see you found her.” Kai leaned over and scratched Miyu under the neck. “That’s a good girl.” He crooned to the cat. “Why did you come back?” Aoi asked in a small voice. Kai laughed. “I never left! After you ran off I went to get my car. You didn’t have a coat on and I thought it would be better if we drove around together to look, but by the time I got the car, you had disappeared. I have spent the night looking for you!. Kai glanced over at Aoi as he drove. “You’ve been outside walking in the rain for almost three hours now! I was worried about you.”

Aoi didn’t know what to say. He was confused. Hadn’t Kai left him? Why did he bother to come looking for him? He glanced down at the papers he was holding. Lists of people’s names. Bills of rental. Food catering. The agreement for hiring a hall. A travel agency. Kai saw him looking and snatched the papers out of his hand. He sighed. “Damn.” He said quietly. Aoi looked at him in confusion. They were in front of the apartment building now and Kai angled the car into an empty spot and shut it off. He turned to Aoi.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. It’s what I have been working on for the past month. It’s why I couldn’t tell you what I have been doing, where I have been going. What did you think? I had some secret lover somewhere?” Aoi looked down, ashamed. It was what he had been thinking! Kai lifted Aoi’s chin up, so they were looking into each other’s eyes. Aoi stared into those beautiful, big liquid dark eyes, a glimmer of hope in his heart. “I have been planning a huge party for you. For us. It’s our one year anniversary soon. I wanted to do something really special all for you, to show you how much I love you. I do love you Yuu. You have changed my life for the better and I never want us to be apart. Not ever.”

Aoi felt his heart melt. He felt the blood rush to his face with shame at what he had thought, of the spectacle, the trouble he had made. He felt his eyes fill with hot tears again. Still Kai wouldn’t let go of his face. “You remember how you have been asking me to live with you? I have also been arranging things at home, so I could move in with you. So we can be together forever. I really love you Yuu.” “But what about tonight? You said you had enough, you were leaving.” Tears spilled out of Aoi’s eyes and ran slowly down his cheeks. Kai laughed, his voice deep and husky. “No Yuu.. I was just going to go back to my parent’s house tonight, to give you time to cool off a bit. I’m never going to leave you. Unless it’s what you really want?” Aoi looked into Kai’s eyes and shook his head. “I never want you to leave me. Not ever. I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you more.”

He reached out his hand and put it softly on Kai’s shoulder. Kai wrapped his arms around the older man and they drew together, slowly, their faces inches apart, then touching. Lips brushing hesitantly. Aoi could feel Kai’s warm breath in his mouth, his tongue seeking a way inside. Aoi parted his lips and Kai’s tongue was inside his mouth, warm, gentle. Aoi’s tongue touching his ever so lightly, then harder, more insistently, deeply, passionately . All of the love in Aoi’s heart pouring out into his kiss with the younger man. He felt warm, no, hot. Miyu raised her head and poked it between the two men. They broke off with a laugh. Kai scratched Miyu’s head. “Come on lover, let’s go home.” He took Aoi’s hand and kissed it, a promise in his eyes for later. They got out of the car and walked into the warm, lit building. Together. Home.

The end.

Bathroom [1/1] Reita x Uruha

2007-12-12T01:12:32Z

Title: Bathroom
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: miseichan
Genre: masturbation, explicit sex
Warnings: Not workplace safe
Rating: NC-17, explicit sexual scenes
Pairings/Characters: Reita x Uruha
Synopsis: Reita has a secret desire for Uruha and is carried away by lust after a practice session. Can fantasies become real?
Comments: My 1st solo fanfic. Not 100% satisfied with this, especially the ending but I wanted to see what you all thought.. Let me know if I wrapped the ending well enough to be understood? Thanks for your patience with me. ^______________^ Please criticize freely. X3
Disclaimers: The guys belong to themselves but the bizarre fantasies are all my own.

formerly posted July 16, 2007 at gazette_yaoi

Bathroom

The blond haired bassist stood in front of the bathroom sink. His image reflecting back from the mirror over the sink. He could hear the others still jamming around half-heartedly in the other room and the sounds of laughter and friendship. Practice had lasted 12 straight hours today and everybody was tired, but happy. The new songs were coming along nicely.

Now they were all relaxing, unwinding from the long day. Yuu had brought out the beer and Shima had warmed some sake. Aki could hear Shima's happy laughter through the door as he no doubt was draining yet another cup with the others. The sound of the pretty blond guitarist brought a momentary smile to the bassist's lips.

All day long, watching the lead guitarist had been torturous pleasure. They had been friends for so long, but the bassist's physical attraction to his friend had been growing stronger, especially lately. Part of the curse of being strong and silent was being unable to express this growing and overwhelming desire and attraction to the guitarist. Today after a few beers he had not been able to wait like he usually did, but had had to run into the bathroom to take care of his growing problem.

His pants laying in a loose heap around his ankles, he closed his eyes and thought of how pretty the blond guitarist looked on stage. As he thought of those silky thighs and lean body he slid his hand up and down his hard cock. A moan of pleasure escaped his lips and tiny beads of sweat started to form on his upper lip. Faster, more furiously he pumped his hard erection, desire and pleasure overriding all sense of where he was.

Suddenly he felt a light touch on his arm. Half opening his eyes and looking in the mirror he saw the blond guitarist standing right next to him, staring in silence at his desperate actions. Turning slightly, the guitarist closed the door and latched it behind himself. "You didn't lock it Aki and I was wondering where you had been for so long. I missed you" The bassist whimpered as the object of his desire stood so close to him. He looked at his friend, naked desire so plainly visible in his glance. One hand still held his rock-hard erection, the other reaching out to the guitarist to touch him oh so lightly, pleading for understanding, acceptance.

Uruha looked in the bassist's eyes and understood his desire, his unspoken love. He smiled softly. "I too...." he faltered for a second and then went on, his voice hoarse, plainly effected by the raw energy of naked lust that hung in the room. "I too have wanted you, wanted to feel you. For a long time now." Reita continued stroking his erection and moaned. "Oh baby. Oh help me, please."

Without another word, the guitarist got down on his knees and took the other man's stiff erection in his hands, stroking it softly. He stuck his long pink tongue out and lightly started licking the warm, swollen erection of his friend. Up and down the shaft his tongue darted while his fingers fondled the softly curling hair and swollen testicles. Hearing a soft groan from Reita, the guitarist took the entire long shaft into his mouth and started sucking, softly at first and then harder and faster. He looked up to see Reita staring at him through partly slitted eyes, his face twisted in pleasure.

The bassist grabbed the pretty blond head and held it, stroking the soft hair of his friend and rocking him in rhythm to his pleasure. His breathing short and ragged, he moaned quietly. Waves of pleasure washed over his body and he knew that he couldn't hold back any longer. The tidal wave of desire was crashing over him, tearing him apart. His body tightened as the ultimate wave of pleasure lifted him up high, higher. "Oh baby..." he moaned, "I'm cumming now." His eyes tightly closed he felt the hot liquid pulse out of his cock deep down into the throat of the pretty blond. He held Uruha's head tightly pressed against his slowly draining cock, unwilling to end this lovely climax.

Slowly the muscles in his body relaxed, and a sense of peace and happiness came over him. He released the guitarist's head and bent down to him. One pearly drop of Reita's semen clung to the side of Uruha's full and sensual lip. The bassist pulled him close and kissed him softly, gently. Desire rose in him again as he tasted his own fluid in the mouth of the other man. Passion and love making his kisses more fierce. Uruha moaned softly, wanting this hungry touch from the bassist. His own desire still unfulfilled, his own erection swollen and hard. They broke from the kiss and Reita stroked the blond's hair and trailed his fingers against his face.

"What about you Shima? I want to give you some pleasure also." Reita said quietly. They stood up together and the bassist unbuckled the other man's pants and slid them down, exposing the guitarist's swollen and gleaming erection. His own cock hardened in sympathy and desire. They both faced the mirror, Uruha standing in front. "Make me cum too." the blond said. "I want to feel you all the way inside me." The bassist spit on his hand and rubbed it on the guitarist's ass. That would have to do for now he supposed. As the blond bent over the sink a bit, he put his hardened cock up to the hole and gently pushed. He felt himself fully engulfed in a single motion. He let out another moan. Heaven.

Reaching his arm around the blond, he grasped Uruha's hard erection and started to rub up and down as he thrust himself in and out of the other man's body. Again waves of pleasure washed over him as his motions became faster and faster, more violent and desperate. He heard the groans of pleasure coming from the other man and he quickened his pace so that they could come together. He knew he couldn't last much longer and from the sound of it, neither could the other man. He rubbed harder and thrust more wildly, the pace of desire heightened and accelerated to the breaking point. He felt the guitarist's body stiffen suddenly and heard him cry out as a stream of hot pearly liquid shot out of his cock into the sink. Reita felt his own orgasm approaching and tightened his grip on the other man. Suddenly, pulsating jets of hot sperm shot out of his erection into the body of his friend, as he continued to thrust.

He closed his eyes in sudden calm, holding his friend tightly. He loved this man. A smile crept over his lips and contentment and joy settled over his body. "I love you Shima, I always have. I'm the happiest man in the world now that I know you care for me the same way. I never want to leave you. Never." He stood silently savoring the warmth, peace and happiness he felt.

Suddenly he felt a light touch on his arm. Half opening his eyes and looking in the mirror he saw the blond guitarist standing right next to him, staring in silence. The bassist was standing in front of the sink, his pants laying in a loose heap around his ankles, the sink, the mirror splattered with the sin of his crime. "You didn't lock it Aki and I was wondering where you had been for so long. I missed you" Turning slightly, the guitarist closed the door and latched it behind himself.

The end.